I’m due to have a planned C-section, and there’s a possibility my sister and I could be scheduled for the same day.
My sister and I haven’t spoken for months. We don’t speak even when we’re at family gatherings, and we have no real relationship at the moment. She doesn’t really interact with my children, although I do make an effort with hers. We haven’t had a big falling-out; we’re just not close, and there’s very little interaction between us.
In my experience, she’s quite narcissistic, tends to make things about herself and can be dismissive of other people’s feelings. I don’t feel comfortable being vulnerable around her, and I would find it awkward having her nearby while I’m recovering from major surgery.
My sister experienced birth-related trauma around nine years ago and has since had three children. I have also experienced birth trauma myself, but I feel my family brushes my experience aside because they see hers as worse or more significant. I do have sympathy for what she’s been through, but it often feels like her feelings are given more consideration than mine.
I’ve spoken to my midwife, who reassured me that if we’re scheduled for the same day, they can put us on separate wards.
My parents think I’m overreacting and making an issue out of something that might not even happen. My mum says she wouldn’t care if she had to share a ward with her own sister, so she doesn’t understand why I care so much. They keep telling me I should just be happy that my baby is healthy.
Of course I’m grateful that my baby is healthy, but I don’t think that means my own feelings, previous birth trauma and need for privacy don’t matter. I’ll be recovering from major surgery, and I want to feel comfortable and relaxed without feeling self-conscious about my sister being nearby. Given that we don’t even speak, I think sharing a ward would be awkward and could affect my experience.
I don’t want any drama or special treatment. I just want some privacy and space during what will be a vulnerable time for me. My family are making me question whether I’m being unreasonable simply because they wouldn’t feel the same way.
Am I being silly for worrying about this when it might not even happen? Would you want to be on a separate ward in my situation, or am I making too much of it? I’d appreciate some honest advice.