How did you know what you were doing when you had a new born?

[MaternityCountDown]

I'm 31 and pregnant with my first absolute little angel baby and SO delighted but it is daunting! I have no mum to go to or real female support to ask any questions to when my baby arrives in Feb and I worry I will somehow miss something crucial or not know what is best for my baby. I am the first of my friends to have a baby and it has come at the best time because I've lost three close relatives this year, very unexpectedly and one very recently so my baby is a total joy. That, along with relentless sickness and work being really difficult has exhausted me and I've not actually done much baby prep, dh has just been looking after me and carrying everything. It dawned on me I need to get organised now I'm feeling a bit better! SIL reached out urgently to tell me I need to look at nurseries the other day and sort of instructed me rather then advised me ( she can be very judgemental ) like I was missing the mark and should've started yesterday - she has form for this and it makes me feel inferior but I truly don't know where to get my mummy knowledge from, nor does DH have much experience but we are both very excited and just want to get it right😂 Is there a book/ class/ tip you wouldn't be without? I am booked in for every class my midwife has to offer. I really wish I had an on hand mum or sister that I could go to for help - my MIL is so so lovely but I know she shares everything with SIL so I don't ask her as much and she is the toral opposite of SIL and isn't intrusive at all so she politely leaves us to it. Any tips super welcome please- even ones that sound like common sense! Thank you xxx

Would you be able to afford a postnatal doula for a few hours a day or even a few hours 2-3 times per week? Best money I ever spent. My doula supported me in the early days of figuring everything out. She fed me, helped with housework and held the baby while I slept. My child is 12 now and I messaged her the other day to thank her. If people don’t have family support available (or even if they do) doulas are amazing. You can search by postcode
https://doula.org.uk/doula-support

It's a good idea to read the safety guidelines on sleep/ car seats/ feeding etc. but your instincts will kick in and tell you what your baby needs- and if in doubt, stick a boob in it.

Baby cries, cuddle it, boob it. Clean it. Feed it. Repeat. Don't let it overheat.

If in doubt - boob.

Congratulations!

The 1st year.. you get in a routine then it changes eg. Feeds change, going into own room, onto solids, teething, heatwave, lighter nights, clocks changing, etc. So for me after a year things finally settled and I felt much more confident

I'm 6 weeks postpartum with my first. My big recommendations are as follows

1. Do NOT be afraid to ask for help from your natal team before and after birth.

2. Sign up to baby massage class. Colic massage is a GAME CHANGER (I've attached the one I use) and will help get some sleep. Especially if you've got a colicky baby like my wee lamb.

3. Look at the groups, classes and community support programs in your area. They're a great place to meet other mums, get postnatal support and learn how to care for your baby. I've found them great for learning how to play with my baby.

In terms of nursery. Waiting lists can be quite long (over a year in some cases) so it doesn't hurt to look at them, get an idea of the layout. Make sure to ask if you can move back start dates if need be.

The big secret is...none of us know what we're doing. You learn as you go and every time you think you've nailed it a growth spurt or a developmental leap changes the game. All you can do is your best.