16 weeks postpartum and pregnant

[Lalalalalalala1234]

I’m 16 weeks postpartum with my baby boy (planned pregnancy) and I just found out im pregnant again (4 weeks). This was an absolute shock for me and my partner and we are struggling with whether keeping it is the right option for us.

I was meant to go back to work at the end of january and they are relying on me to come back as my sister in law, who’s also pregnant, will be on maternity leave. It will basically be a massive inconvenience for everyone, but I don’t know if I can live with the fact that I would be getting rid of a baby. I keep worrying whether we would be okay financially, on every other aspect. I just need some words of encouragement, maybe anyone who’s been through something similar please tell me your stories. I feel absolutely devastated and haven’t stopped crying.

I’m unsure how it can be a shock if you’ve had unprotected sex?

Do what's right for you and your family and not because youll be causing an inconvenience in the workplace. Good luck

Absolutely this, do what’s right for you.

Why are you assuming they've had unprotected sex? It is possible for contraception to fail, and it would be a shock to find you're pregnant after having protected sex.

This happened to me and I continued to breastfeed and lost the pregnancy at 10 weeks. All the best OP and terminate if you need to and would have time to conceive again at a better interval.

I did think it would be good to have two children very close in age although clearly it was quite a shock and would have taken quite some logistics.

Don’t worry about everyone else’s inconvenience, do what is right for you. Work can easily get a temp in or someone on a fixed term maternity cover, don’t even think about that. xx

Do what’s right for you and never be shocked when sex results in a pregnancy, whether you’ve used contraception or not.

thank you everyone, we were using protection, we dont know how this couldve happened

I was told in the hospital that breastfeeding was a contraceptive so can totally see how that happens. Also I don’t think it’s nice or helpful or even on topic to say this to someone who has posted upset saying they have been crying since they found this out.

OP I had my first 2 kids close together and I’m not going to lie, it was hard work but it was fine with work and they were lovely together, I have such fond memories of that time. Congratulations and hope you are ok and feel better soon

Hi OP I had 2 close together. It was hard at the time but they always played together and got on well. Do what is right for you. Hope you feel better soon. Xxx

They’re relying on you to go back to work because your sister in law will be on maternity leave? How is it relevant what your sister in law is doing?

Either way, this is about you and your DH, not work, not relatives, not convenience.

I former colleague had exactly this happen. He said he cried when she told him. They went ahead - it was tough but they managed. We both moved and lost touch. But when I bumped into him a couple of years later he and his wife were working in different cities and he was commuting weekends as boys lived with her 😲Tough situation but they seemed to be coping.

Myths like breast feeding is contraception need to die
It should be more publicised that you are very fertile post birth

I would just say do what feels right for you. There is no judgement either way. I found myself in a similar situation a few years back and ended up getting a termination, which was the right thing for me and my family. There are options, thankfully, you don’t live in the US where you’d be stuck with this pregnancy unless you travel to another state…so think it through with your partner and do what’s right for you, your family, your mental health, your physical health, your financial health…you get the point. :)

Practicality aside, it's not healthy on your body at all to be pregnant again so quickly - you've only just had a major strain and trauma (pregnancy and birth) and before your body has even healed, you're putting it through another massive strain and trauma that can cause complications during pregnancy, and long term issues to your body. There's also a higher risk of premature birth, and complications for the baby. Waiting at least 12 months is highly recommended by professionals.

So it's worth thinking about what's best for you physically, as well.

My mum had me as a total surprise. She had been told she was infertile.

She was breastfeeding, on the mini pill and supposedly infertile when she got pregnant with my brother, there are a little under 13 months between us (and he was 2 weeks late, so actually 12!).

Same for me. I was on the pill but admittedly probably didnt take it everyday. New baby, no sleep, me just forgetting.

I also decided to chose a termination. It was the right decision at the time.

OP take work and being an inconvenience aside. None of that should be a factor. Your work will survive. Sit down and decide what's right for you and your family and go from there.

No judgement and ignore the "how can you be shocked " comments. They are not helpful and not needed on this thread. Sometimes you can think or judge but scroll on and go about your day. You don't NEED to make a comment...

My friend got pregnant 3 months after the birth of her first (so around the same timeline as you). She decided not to go back to her job because it would have been too much managing two children - her work were relieved actually as I think that was preferable to them rather than managing two maternity leaves. The sooner you let work know the better so that they can find cover. They will have plenty of time even if you wait until you’re second trimester. You have to make the decision that is right for you and your family, your employer’s staffing requirements are absolutely secondary xx