Experiences of deciding whether to have a third child

[AnaMG]

Can I ask for some honest advice from all the mums out there? ❤️
Lately, I've been thinking a lot about whether our family is complete or whether we should have one more baby.
I already have two beautiful boys, aged 3 and 5, who keep me on my toes every single day! 💙💙 They are my whole world, but I can't stop wondering what life would be like with a third child.
If you've gone from 2 kids to 3, I'd really love to hear your experience. Was it harder than going from 1 to 2? Did you ever regret your decision, or did you always feel your family was complete after your third?
How did you manage the extra costs, the lack of sleep, the school runs, and finding time for everyone?
Please be completely honest—the good, the hard, and the beautiful. I'm not looking for people to convince me either way, just real experiences from mums who've been there.
Thank you so much for taking time to read❤️

I Stopped at 2. Really regret that. Have a 14 and 11 year old. Wish we had of went for a third and have one around 8 right now. But we didnt for lots of reasons. And its too late for me to start again with a new born now. But if I had known 8 years ago what i know now i would have. I would say go for it. You will never regret a child and always wonder.

I think you're looking at this the wrong way. Rather than what would it bring to you, you need to think about how this would affect everyone else.
I'm one of three. It wasn't good. I got on well with my sister and then my brother arrived. It meant someone was always left out, someone was upset, there were power struggles. My parents couldn't do the more active things that my sister and I were ready to do (such as high ropes, canoes, cinema etc) because of the baby. And then because of the toddler.
As a parent, I'd love a third child. But as a family member I won't have one as overall I don't think it benefits the family. Also what if the third one has additional needs (increasingly likely as you get older) and needs more support? This automatically means less time for the older two, even more so than any new baby. I wasn't prepared to risk it.

My perspective was that dh and I had 4 hands between us, so there were definitely hands available for another.

No3 was harder work than the others. Didn’t sleep. Crawled at 5m and walked at 11m. Diagnosed ASD at 11yo.

But oh the joy! 😃🤩

Hard work with three. More expensive than going from 1 to 2.

They rarely fought, and they are decent adults who are interested in each other and share each other’s woes and joys.

No regrets whatsoever.

We have 3, the eldest 2 were 5 and 3 when we had the third. I actually found it much harder going from 1-2 as the other 2 are only 18 months apart so I had a very young toddler and a newborn on mat leave. By the third the eldest was in reception and the middle was in full-time school nursery, so it was pretty easy really. Money wise we don't really see the difference much right now, granted days out to the zoo etc start to cost more once they are over 3 and there's the logistics of hotel rooms and you are more restricted on what car you can buy, need a 4 bed house etc, but I don't think we have hit the expensive part yet ie having multiple school trips abroad in high school etc and 3 lots of uni to fund (should they want to go). We both work full-time in career type jobs and can afford to give our children everything they need, we aren't rich but have 0 money worries. If we were scraping by I wouldn't have had a third. It is hard in terms of juggling activities outside of school for 3 children (they are 10, 8 and 5 now) when we both have very busy jobs but we are glad we went for 3. We are now expecting a surprise 4th, now that really is tipping the balance into the ludicrous!!!

I say if you can afford it and know you can provide a good life for a third why not. I always wanted 3 children from being quite young, my husband could have stopped at 2 but he got on board. We are both from families with 3 children too, I love having 2 siblings, it seemed like the perfect number to me.

Interested in following this thread! I am one of 3 and yes I was left out a bit as the youngest it was also great a lot of the time.
I am currently pregnant with number 3 with two boys 5 and 2. It’s a girl and still worrying a little about how the dynamic will change. I hope it will complete the family in the best way.
we were going back and forward with deciding to go for it and I just knew if we didn’t I would regret it. So many reasons not to but then there are not many practical reasons to have children at all! 😂😅

Hi, OP

I had my 3rd in April, he's nearly 4 months. My other two are girls abd are 5 and 2 1/2, l absolutely knew l wanted 3 but with a gap so it made it more manageable for me. There is a 2 1/2 gap between each of them.

Yes it has been challenging especially with school hols but happy that l went for it as my girls love him and l really wanted a boy!!

I have 3 DC, 12, nearly 6 and 2.5. I won’t lie, it’s really hard work right now. Their needs are all so different which is largely to do with their ages. None of them go to the same school/childcare so we have to have military style organisation skills.

Everything costs more money. It’s not just one extra child. It’s a bigger car to fit 3 children in comfortably rather than just an occasional friend in the middle. It’s hotel rooms that are only set up for families of 4. It’s needing a bigger house so all of the kids have a good size room rather than one having a box room. 12 and 5yo DDs share at the moment but that can’t last much longer whilst DD1 starts to need more privacy.

I never felt done after DD2 was born. We spoke about having a third and the list of pros and cons was heavily weighted to stopping at two but I just knew I wanted one more. Now DS is here, I am happy to be done. I don’t feel that urge to keep going and DH has now had a vasectomy.

We love our children so completely, it’s unreal. DS is the perfect little addition to our family and brings out the good in all of us. Wouldn’t change it for anything and would rather be time and money poor than not have him.

I'm one of three and DH is one of three and the plan was always that we'd have three kids and we did. There's 3.5 years between the oldest and youngest. They're grown up now but it was fine, not a big deal. The hardest by far was going from 0 to 1 because our life completely changed and we didn't know what we were doing. Two and three just slotted in.

Level of difficulty:

Hardest was 2-3 kids
0-1
Easiest 1-2 kids

You need a much bigger car. Three car seats doesnt work in a standard car.

Cant buy familiy tickets to things, most are 2 adults and 2 kids.

Holidays are only built for 2 + 2.

Housing? Need an extra bedroom if the third child is female. Or the boys end up sharing forever.

So much more expensive for these things

The age gap. Your eldest is 5 factor in a few months to get pg and then by the time it is born your eldest is 6-7. Then you have a 3 year old and a 10 and 8 year old.

There will be so many things you can't do for the older ones as a family as you have to factor in the little one.

I'm pregnant with no.3 ATM. We have 5yo and nearly 2yo boys . I'm finding the pregnancy really hard. I'm absolutely exhausted, I think the bigger age gap between the first two was better. I think my body wasn't in great condition to start with. I'm older. I'm looking after two very high energy boys. It's really difficult, we wanted more but I've said this is my last pregnancy. I haven't really enjoyed a single second tbh.

We've had to buy a minivan. New car seat because the one we had from DS1 will expire before DD is done with it. We will probably have to buy another of the next size up one too, and again for the booster DS1 is currently in. Trying to have someone look after both boys while I'm in labour and do the school run for eldest.

I am glad we will have our little princess, but it has been very hard so far.

I have three! Still relatively early stages - they are 5, 3 and 16m. There are just under two year age gaps both times.

I (mainly!) absolutely love having three, so far. Adding a third baby was by far the easiest transition, although that may be because he was the easiest baby in the world. Maternity leave was bliss. I was off when my eldest started reception, which was great. We are lucky in that our finances and space are fine for three so haven’t really felt too much of an impact there.

Saying that, I have found going back to work more challenging this time. The logistics of three is more difficult than two, especially when illness descends! I feel like I’m never on top of things, which bothers me. I suspect I would have moments of feeling like that with fewer children as well, though. Now that the middle has turned three and the older two play happily together, I do sometimes fleetingly think that life would have been easier with two as I’m still in the hyper-alert bit where the baby wants to eat felt tip pens and Lego…

But I really want a fourth. So it’s definitely mainly positive feedback from me! 😂