Unexpected pregnancy in late 30s with older children

[ThisKindMauveCritic]

Some advice/stories/handholding needed. I am in my late 30s and have just found out I am pregnant. I don’t know how to feel. For context, DH and I have been together since we were teens - this will be our fourth child together. Eldest is in their second year of uni, youngest is only 9 and the baby of the family. Middle child works and is saving for a house.
All our other 3 children were planned, this pregnancy is a huge shock and surprise.
DH was give the news a few years back he has slow growing, uncurable cancer. (This is currently stable and being monitored every 6 months.) Another child was definitely not in the pipeline. We are self employed and growing the business has been our main focus. Im not even sure where that stands now or how we will make it work with a newborn. My hormones are so up the left I don’t know what to do or think. Sometimes I just want to cry ( and have been) other times I keep thinking I can do this as I have loved being a mum to my other 3 kids.
I have contemplated abortion now and again, although it’s something I thought I would never do and DH is very against. I just wish I wasn’t in this situation.

I’m so sorry you’re facing this. In your situation, I would terminate - but only you can decide what’s right for you. I think in this case, while I would normally say it’s a very shared decision, the fact of your DH’s diagnosis means you have to decide for yourself whether you can cope with being a single parent to a smaller child as well as your DC if it became inevitable.

Thank you, mentally I am not sure if I could go through with it. It sounds terrible but I am praying I will go to see GP and they say it is a mistake. I have taken 3 tests- 2 cheap ones and a clear blue digital that says I am around 5 weeks.

Aww in your scenario I would keep it but if you end up aborting then I would also support you as a friend it’s a very personal decision

(I’ve had a termination and also had a termination booked and kept the baby)

I agree it’s such a personal decision and I never in a million years thought this would be happening, especially on the back of my husband’s illness. I have been having a little cry tonight about it and both my older kids have come in and given me a cuddle. They have told me they will help me and that Im not alone which has helped. DH has a slow growing brain tumour which has been hard enough to cope with. He got brain surgery a few years ago and will have to get more plus chemo and radio if any of his scans show growth. Life can be hard!! 😢