Large baby concerns at 36 weeks and pressure over birth options

[3rdtrimesterwoes]

Not really sure what I'm looking for but maybe some positive stories or advice or I don't really know.

I'm 36+4 currently. I've had a couple of growth scans as baby is measuring large - apparently 4.1kg at present.

I was supposed to have a consultant appointment after my scan, ended up with a dr who immediately told me a vaginal birth is far too dangerous and I need to book in for elective c section I have no other option. I am under the mental health team already and to be honest I am terrified of the surgery. After
I burst into tears dr went to speak with consultant came back and said, actually don't worry about what I said consultant said vaginal birth is fine, we will book you in for an induction. For the next 40 minutes we kind of went back and fourth over everything that would probably go wrong and how there is a high chance by choosing a vaginal birth I would likely end up in an emergency c section. Then to be concluded by saying really not to worry because the scans aren't accurate anyway so the baby might not even be that big. See you in 2 weeks.

I've not slept, eaten or been able to calm down since Friday. I don't know what to do now, I don't know who I can talk to actually get some proper advice on what is best for me and the baby. My community midwife won't see me until day of induction as she is full i have already tried, they have ruled out another scan before birth and said under no circumstances will they repeat that as measuring big is not a medical emergency, they have no available consultant appointments until after I am booked in for an induction.

Neither of my other two were small by any means 8.6 and 8 I birthed them both completely fine with no intervention or pain relief other than gas and air my body just did what it was supposed to do and I trusted it. I feel like every step of the way I have had all my choices and confidence in myself stripped away appointment by appointment. This pregnancy wasn't planned and anxiety is also high due to a missed m/c which resulted in a horrendous haemorrhage loosing over 2.5l of blood, emergency surgery and multiple blood transfusions. I'm trying to keep my cool and have faith in myself but I just can't right now.

It's absolutely a shot to the nervous system when the doctors start talking about your birth as a medical event like that! Easy for them to backtrack, less easy for us to destress after.

I do find midwifes a much calmer temperament for the most part, so I hope that appointment goes well for you. 🤞🏼

Why are they booking an induction at 38 weeks? You've said that both your previous babies were induced at 40 weeks plus, the first one for for a medical reason but not the second? If you are someone who 'cooks' babies for 40 weeks plus, 38 weeks would seem to be a bit early without a medical reason. Suspicion that your baby is on the large side seems to be the only reason they've given. Have I understood that right? If you first 2 babies were 8lbs plus, it's likely that the 3rd will be bigger, but not by a huge amount. I'd guess 9lbs. That would be normal for you. What do they think the danger of taking the pregnancy up to 40 weeks would be?
Anecdotally, I've heard that bigger babies can come out more easily, gravity and all that. It's often the case that the growth scans are wrong, as your team actually said, to the extent that I wonder if they are worth doing, given the anxiety they cause. If I were in your shoes I would be trying to delay any induction, as I think the birth is often easier if the baby is ready to come out. Obviously take medical advice, and be aware that on another thread there was backlog for inductions , so if that is the case maybe you would prefer to go with the date you've been booked for. But it is so distressing when the medics give conflicting advice, I really feel for you.

They got my baby sizes very wrong from my scans! You said your doctor also says this is normal and is happy for you to try for a natural birth? Even if they said there's a risk of ECS, that risk always exists for us all, and if you're in hospital being monitored, you will be able to try for the birth you want but they can intervene if needed.

It was more that the dr said I should absolutely not be trying to have a vaginal birth as I would be putting myself and baby at more than significant risk, to then pop out and relay some information to a consultant (who I should have seen anyway not the dr) then come back and say ignore what I said consultant says it's fine. So I was left feeling really uneasy and unsure of where I should go from there

Risk of haemorrhaging and higher birth weight. I haven't agreed to induction, just booked it in more as a save the date because I was told there were no further appointments at this time, I figured at least I could decline after I'd had some time to think etc,

my second I wasn't too well and they were monitoring me every day for 2 weeks they happened to have a space for induction and I was already fairly dilated my waters just hadn't gone, I think they would have at some point that day or the next anyway, they broke them
snd he practically fell out 😅

OP, they did the same with me. I refused a csection and then when the midwife pestered me to be induced I said I would, if I was 7 days over.

I went into labour at 40+4. Ds arrived naturally at 40+6 at exactly 8lb. He was a skinny little thing with a big head.

Don't let them frighten you. Question their suggestions. Ask for evidence that each suggestion is necessary. The more factual information you have, the easier you can make an informed decision.

Ive just booked in because I can always cancel, I just had this appointment last thing on Thursday evening, the dr/consultant were clearly running over and wanted to go home, you know when you can just sense, I was given so much conflicting information and just then left thinking I still don't know what is in my or baby's best interest.

I asked for

• repeat scan firmly told no, that was not an option
• another appointment with consultant firmly told no there was none available until after scheduled induction
• community midwife told no appointments until day of induction
• more information - told to speak to one of the above - ended up going round in circles

Ended up phoning a charity helpline who advised to go into triage and sit and wait until consultant can see me, be persistent and refuse to leave until listened to. I've managed to get an assessment on the day unit for weds to see how things are looking anyway, see if my cervix is doing anything etc so I'm planning on sitting there then and asking for the consultant.