Am I being too sensitive after difficult news about my pregnancy?

[Godsplan21]

Sorry this is more of a rant than anything. Following my 20 week scan, I had another scan with the fetal medicine team yesterday who confirmed baby was on the 1st percentile. They advised on an amniocentesis which I had but also spotted potential problems with my placenta. They advised even if the results of the amnio come back clear, baby may not survive and if she does will most likely be delivered extremely early and need a long time in NICU.
I told close family yesterday and today I have had 2 calls telling me ‘chin up’ ‘be positive’ ‘it will all work out’ which I know they mean well but it has really upset me. I am still in pain from the amnio, am still processing all the possible complications, waiting for results and processing that baby may not even survive. I have family who cried for 2 days because of a secondary school given. Depressed for 7 months for ‘no real reason’ (their words). I’m not negating how they feel but I feel upset and annoyed even that 1 day after this news I am expected to of processed it and be in a positive frame of mind. Does anyone get what I’m saying or am I being too sensitive?

Sorry but you are being too sensitive. No-one really thinks you should not be upset - they just don’t know what to say and are just coming out with platitudes because they can’t think of anything better.

I hope things work out well for you.

They just don’t know what to say to you.

You are not being too sensitive. You’ve had an horrible time and are still processing things and dealing with the awful uncertainty.

anyone who says you are wrong is uncaring and foolish. At this point, you can feel however you want and that is ok. Take things one day at a time and ignore any criticism.

Firstly I'm sorry to hear about your pregnancy, that's got to be so unbelievably horrible to be going through. Not been in the same situation but I have had two miscarriages in the past and had to endure similar comments (including my MIL asking if I'd "got over over it yet" two weeks after I had to have surgical management ). For many people they just don't know what's to say and when you're going through a tough situation it's very easily to be (rightly) more sensitive to comments than you usually would be. It's very unreasonable for anyone to tell you to chin up but I think it all stems from people wanting to be caring but just doing it very clumsily.

I hope everything works out and your little one comes safely ♥️

I'm so sorry to hear that news OP.

Are you telling them because you want support right now? If so, lead with that. People don't know how to react to bad news at all, telling them exactly what you want will be a relief for them. "We've had X bad news about the baby. I'm really upset, and could use to talk about it without having to process someone else's reaction if that's ok. Platitudes make me feel worse right now, so I'll take a cup of tea instead."

I hope things work out for you. 💐

I don’t think you’re being too sensitive at all. I had terrible news at 20 week scan which resulted in an induction and labour after several further scans.the night we had the initial news was devastating. People don’t know what to say. This was why we told very few people. Hunker down, take it day by day.feel free to message me if you need.

You aren’t being too sensitive. You’re in a totally awful situation and your feelings are totally valid.

It’s very likely these people are demonstrating the very British quality of being totally rubbish at dealing with bad news and reverting to war-time platitudes in line with the whole ‘lie back and think of Britain’ ethos. It’s completely insensitive and they are probably utterly oblivious to how invalidating their words feel.