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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Preparing for labour at night with a toddler and no family nearby

27 replies

MapleSeed · 30/06/2026 02:21

My husband and I are expecting our second baby. We have 2.5 YO and no family living in the country (we are based in London). Anyone with a similar experience and what did you do to prepare in the event labour started in the middle of the night? We have friends living nearby who can watch our daughter if labour starts in the day… but we’re not sure how to plan for the possibly of a 2am labour, for example.

Any advice or experiences greatly appreciated!

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Sesquioxides · 30/06/2026 02:29

Not in London, but I called a local taxi company during week 39 and pre-arranged with them to take me to the hospital when I called. I checked what payment types they accepted, how much the trip would cost so I could take cash out, and what times they were open. They prioritised me on the night at 1am and got me straight to hospital. I sat on a towel as my waters had broken spectacularly and liquid was still going everywhere when they arrived (polyhydramnios). I took the car seat and hospital bag. DH stayed at home with our toddler and I came back in a taxi with baby 4 days later.

Pansykavalier · 30/06/2026 02:42

we were in a similar situation, but luckily my waters broke early in the morning. However, my husband had to take our daughter across London to her nursery near his work. He only made it back to the hospital just in time to witness the delivery of his son. Another 20 minutes and he would have missed it.

I think you just have to accept that there is a chance that you might be doing this on your own. Focus on the prize rather than the struggle to get there!

YorkshireLawyer · 30/06/2026 02:47

If I were your friend in that scenario, I’d happily be on call to come over in the middle of the night - have you asked them? When my friend was expecting her second, with family who would look after her eldest a couple of hours away, we had a small WhatsApp group of friends who were happy to be on call, and indeed we did get the call at about 4 am and someone went round.

MarmaladeorJam · 30/06/2026 03:05

I had that - no family around, expecting labour and two under three!

Added bonus was that dh was on call so guarantee of him being there either.

My take away? If you need to go in urgently take dd with you. Once you are in safe hands - play it by ear. Maybe dh will drop her off somewhere, maybe your friend could come pick her up, maybe ...

I know it is nice to have dh in the suite, and even important to have him to advocate, but the most important thing is that you and the baby are looked after.

LoveHearts69 · 30/06/2026 05:20

Yep, it happened at 2am on a Monday morning so we didn’t want to wake a neighbour and it all happened so quickly that my husband missed it as he had to stay with our toddler. I birthed in hospital within 30 mins of arriving.

I’m pregnant again and we now have a planned homebirth this time due to the potential speed, and also lack of childcare!

wanderingwillows · 30/06/2026 05:38

Pick your best, closest friend and ask them to keep their phone on loud overnight as you near the end. They could then come and sit whilst your toddler is in bed.
You could also take a taxi to hospital on your own and DH can join once toddler wakes up.
The other very real possibility is that labour will start in the night but you’ll be able to labour at home for long enough to reach a reasonable hour (early daytime) when others are awake and can help. These things take time (obviously)

NerrSnerr · 30/06/2026 05:41

Ours didn’t happen late at night but was evening and it was better all round for my husband to stay with my eldest. She was a nervous child and was also 2.5 and we didn’t want the stress of someone else having to deal with her bedtime. I felt a lot more relaxed knowing she was happy with her dad and I just got on with having the baby

discodoggy · 30/06/2026 05:44

C section so could plan childcare for the day and DH could come home that night and take care of DD

Esmeraldathe3rd · 30/06/2026 05:58

We'll be having a home birth, my mum will come over but if it's in the middle of the night DSs will be asleep anyway.

we have two already. Last time DS went for a sleepover when labour started but I'm pretty slow so we had plenty of time from first contractions to actually giving birth. About 2 days.

You'd be surprised how many people would be willing to be woken in the night for emergency childcare when you're in labour.

Alternatively you can plan an induction/c section so you can organise better.

MidnightPatrol · 30/06/2026 06:02

Ask the friend, they will probably say yes!

When I had my last baby about ten neighbours offered to be on call at night if need be, knowing I had no local family.

MrsDroughtFire · 30/06/2026 06:05

ask the friend or dh stays home

LochKatrine · 30/06/2026 06:10

Esmeraldathe3rd · 30/06/2026 05:58

We'll be having a home birth, my mum will come over but if it's in the middle of the night DSs will be asleep anyway.

we have two already. Last time DS went for a sleepover when labour started but I'm pretty slow so we had plenty of time from first contractions to actually giving birth. About 2 days.

You'd be surprised how many people would be willing to be woken in the night for emergency childcare when you're in labour.

Alternatively you can plan an induction/c section so you can organise better.

You're lucky to have your Mum. I was like the OP, we literally had nobody.
My DH had to stay and look after the toddler, I went in on my own.
If that's what you need to do, OP, it'll be fine.

LochKatrine · 30/06/2026 06:11

NerrSnerr · 30/06/2026 05:41

Ours didn’t happen late at night but was evening and it was better all round for my husband to stay with my eldest. She was a nervous child and was also 2.5 and we didn’t want the stress of someone else having to deal with her bedtime. I felt a lot more relaxed knowing she was happy with her dad and I just got on with having the baby

Yes, that's what we did, it really was the best solution if you literally have nobody.

CrispAppleStrudels · 30/06/2026 06:54

Ask the friends - im sure they wont mind. I think most friends recognise that its a bit of a special circumstance! We are also in London and have no family nearby. We arranged a sort of relay - we had a nearby friend who didnt mind a 2am call, so our plan was to call her and at the same time call our nearest family member (about 90mins drive plus obviously getting ready time). She would come and sit in the house and wait for our relative. My parents would set off in the day (they are 300miles away) to relieve that relative whilst DD1 was in nursery.

I'm sure you've heard that second labours are often much quicker (mine was 1hr 15m). I was having an ELCS due to breech baby and my consultant midwife said if I went into spontaneous labour before the ELCS (which is what happened in the end plus she had turned herself so i ditched the ELCS) to just bring DD1 to the hospital with us and see if someone could collect her from the hospital, which would not have been ideal.

Our back up back up plan was to hire a doula to come with me so DH could be at home with DD1 (i wasnt eligible for a home birth as DD1 had GBS sepsis). He of course felt sad about this but at least it meant i wouldn't be on my own.

In the end, I went into labour at breakfast time, so DH took DD1 to nursery whilst I went to the hospital. Then he arrived after dropping her off and DD2 was born 15mins later. 😬 She timed it all rather nicely!

Overthebow · 30/06/2026 06:58

Talk to your friends, we don’t have family close by either and friends offered to be on call in the light as well as the day, we’ve done the same for friends too.

ImpossibleThursday · 30/06/2026 07:03

I got an au pair to live in the house, precisely to cover this situation. She started 2 weeks before due date.

DifficultDilemmaMakingMeSad · 30/06/2026 07:06

I had an amazing friend who I had met at NCT, who offered to be our 'babysitter' - she came at 2am when I called! (We had also moved from SW London down the A3 so it wasn't a quick journey for her either.

Elieza · 30/06/2026 07:09

ask the friend anyway.

i know with a second it’s less likely, but if labour is long, even if it starts at a reasonable hour say 8pm it could well be during the night by the time the baby comes and dh returns home to take over from the friend anyway.

So it would be good to know if she is available later. Hopefully she will be.

MiddleAgedDread · 30/06/2026 07:09

I think you need to talk to your friends and check what they’re prepared to do and what your child will be comfortable with to. Even if she goes to someone during the day, are they going to keep her overnight, potentially even 2 nights, is she prepared for this in advance, are they coming to your house or will she go to theirs? Good friends would probably got up in the night if you need them to. I once had my phone on for friends who live 2.5hours away but I was still the closest person who could get there if needed! (I wasn’t in the end as she never went into labour and had a section)

Cuwins · 30/06/2026 07:11

Definitely ask your friends. I recently had my phone on loud overnight for a friend from 25 weeks because of previous complications leading a very premature baby. I wouldn’t have minded at all. As it happens baby made it to the planned section which was a lot easier for everyone but I was very prepared to go over in the middle of the night.

onmylastnerveseriously · 30/06/2026 07:17

I’ve been on night watch duty for a number of mates. I don’t really get the ‘no family nearby’ issue people report on mumsnet. My friends have always been more use! Less fussing.

PurpleThistle7 · 30/06/2026 07:32

my husband and I are immigrants. When we were getting ready to have our second, we asked our good friends (the ones who live closest) to be on call and they were super happy to do so. Your friends will likely be delighted to help.

Our backup plan was for me to just go in on my own and my husband catch up when he could. But I live really close to the hospital - I am assuming you have a long drive?

lemoncurdcupcake · 30/06/2026 08:25

Almost exactly your scenario, we stayed at home and left the toddler sleeping upstairs. Had a friend who knew my toddler on stand by who would have come and stayed with him at our house/taken him to nursery in the morning if we needed to go to the hospital. But all went well, he slept pretty much until the baby arrived and was able to meet his sister when she was just a few minutes old.

Original poster
MapleSeed · 30/06/2026 16:59

Thanks for all of your messages, everyone! I think we will ask our friend if they can be on call over night! Having a taxi lined up is also a good idea!

OP posts:
Tonissister · 30/06/2026 17:02

Ask friends to be on call. More than one friend. Give them the expected possible dates (second babies often come a bit early) and ask who can genuinely and happily come in the middle of the night. I did this for DSiL. Got a taxi at 2 am and sat up all night keeping toddler occupied and snuggled downstairs, then cuddling newborn while DSiL had a rest. It was such a lovely night.