TW mental health during pregnancy
I want to preface this post by saying I do not wish to cause harm to myself or my child.
i think I’m writing this post because I feel very alone.
im currently 18 weeks pregnant with my second baby. I have suffered with general anxiety disorder for over a decade and am currently taking an SSRI (max dosage) and a beta blocker. I see a therapist weekly and do journaling and meditation.
The problem is i am so unhappy, i feel like im drowning and im struggle to function daily. I can barely get out of bed most days and when I do it’s only for an hour max. I can’t tell what’s my mental health and what’s general pregnancy struggle. I feel like a terrible mum and a terrible wife. I’m not able to help around the house and I’ve barely left the house since I got pregnant.
my health anxiety is terrible at the moment. I’m constantly worried about my heart health as my RHR has increased. My panic attacks have become frequent and really bad. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this mentally fragile. I constantly worry about being too hot, I can’t not have a fan of some sort pointing at me at the moment. I try and remove this safety behaviour and it causes more stress. I’ve been told I have high blood pressure which is making me freak out that I’m causing the baby damage.
Ive had three miscarriages in the past and am now really struggling to attend medical appointments. All the ones I’ve had to attend since I’ve become pregnant, I’ve had a panic attack. It’s so embarrassing and its causing me so much stress.
i don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m barely surviving. I just hope I’m not alone. If anyone else is struggling, you’re not alone.