TTC while EBF without returned cycle

[SlowDaysClub]

Our baby is currently 9.5 months old and we would really like another baby now. We’ve been trying since our first turned 3 months but I’m EBF (or was until a week ago) and cycle hasn’t returned. I’ve tried introducing formula occasionally and have tried reducing night feeds to 2-3 but he feeds for comfort a lot and is struggling with this. Is anyone in or has anyone been in my shoes?
We really didn’t want there to be a larger age gap than 18 months but that’s looking extremely unlikely now sadly.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Or can anyone share their stories if they’ve been in a similar position?

I got pregnant my first cycle (before having a period) while still breastfeeding but baby was 16 months by then. It’s so individual when your cycles will return, I was down to about one feed a day before they came back.

Following, as I'm in exactly the same position!

My baby is 9.5 months, and my period hasn't come back yet. I tried ovulation strips for a while to see if I was even ovulating, and I think the answer to that is no.

I don't want to stop breastfeeding since it feels right to prioritise the baby I have, but it is disheartening as I'd love to be able to try for a second

I was definitely not trying for a baby (opposite of my DH had had the snip not long before) but my periods returned when my EBF DS turned 10mo. I had no indication it was on its way.

If you search Carol Smyth (an INCLC) he has a useful set of blog posts about breastfeeding and fertility. In short, if your cycle hasn't returned you are statistically unlikely to be able to get pregnant. Even when cycles return the first few are often anovulatory.

Personally I would not be inclined to attempt reducing feeds or stop feeding on demand until at least 12 months. You could then look at night weaning entirely and/or spacing out feeds to try to get your cycle back.

I wasn't trying to conceive but my period came back at 9 months when I returned to work, so went 10 hours without feeding in the day (still feeding overnight). Appreciate that's not necessarily an option for you.

I tried everything to bring my cycles back after my third except stopping feeding or supplementing with formula. I tried expressing and giving big breaks between feeds, night weaning on and off, all kinds of vitamins and supplements. I really wanted an 18 month age gap max but no luck. My cycles eventually returned at about 16 months pp and took a few months to get shorter and regulate. I now have my 3rd and 4th child 2years 4months apart, both are still breastfed. I got over my desire for the age gap and my toddler is such a challenging personality that it was probably for the best.

I feel your pain, I was desperate for it

My third child is 15m, breastfed, and no sign of my cycle returning.

I weaned both of my older children at 14m as I wanted to get pregnant again. Eldest wasn’t much of a milk fan and was only on one feed at bedtime for a month or so before stopping, but I didn’t ovulate until I stopped completely. Same when I weaned number two. Number three is a big milk fan so I’m reluctant to wean him but I think that, knowing my body, I will have to stop if I want a fourth and final baby!

I know plenty of people who EBF and had their period early on despite regular feeds, so I suppose we are all different.

Oh we’re at exactly the same stage!
I also tried ovulation strips for a while too, but they were all over the place so I gave up on that. I’ve even thought about taking my temperature in the morning, but I think it’s pointless as it’s unlikely I’ll catch my first ovulation before getting a period..

Feel free to PM me if you fancy a chat with someone in the same boat! Xx

Did you pump at all during that 10 hours? How long after the long stretches did it take for you to get your period? Xx

I’m not the same poster but I went back to work when my baby was 11 months and did 3 days a week. My periods did not return for months. Before that I used pumping to make the stretches. It was a lot of work and just didn’t happen until my body was ready.

Thanks for sharing! How many times were you feeding in the night?

No I didn't pump, I was never very successful at pumping. I tried to reduce daytime (work hours) feeds to 1 or 2 before returning to work. I was a bit uncomfortable for a day or 2 but my body quickly adjusted. I was then feeding at roughly: 8am, 6pm, 7:30pm, 12am, 4am. I continued to feed once or twice in the day on the days I didn't work. My periods returned basically immediately!

I don't think I could have done it if I was still with DC, as it would have been hard to refuse. It may have also prolonged night feeds, but hard to know.

Just wanted to add to my post above - I ended up feeding DD throughout my second pregnancy until around her 3rd birthday, when she self-weaned. So cutting down feeds when back at work didn't impact the long term, but was part of a move towards a 'schedule' rather than feeding on demand e.g. I night weaned at 12m, encouraged a drop to 1 feed a day at 18m. I started to only feed lying down on the bed, so DD started to associate feeding with our bedroom, and rarely asked anywhere else.

It was really changeable, I’d go through periods of night weaning (12 hours no feeds), a couple of feeds a night or all night feeding. I gave it all a go for a few months at a time and also gave up all attempts for a few months at a time. I was so keen to get my cycles to return and spent such a lot of time researching and doing ovulation tests. If I went for one more I’d like a small age gap again but I guess I’d have to wean or at least partially wean. I think I’m going to stick with 4 children though 🫠

My period didn't return for 3 months after I stopped breastfeeding my first and I breastfeed until 10-11 months.
I'm currently breastfeeding my 9.5 months and I've had a hormone panel done for other reasons and they are consistent with my cycles being dormant so to speak. No plans for number 3 though.