Should I tell my husband about the pregnancy before promotion news?

[Lauren912]

I've found out I'm pregnant today and unsure whether to wait to tell my husband.
We have been ttc for the past 2 months after deciding the time was right. However, my husband is currently waiting to hear whether he's been successful in securing a promotion. The interviews are happening today so he should hopefully hear back within the next few days. The reason I'm unsure of the timing is that he usually isn't fazed by much, but he's extremely anxious about whether he will get this job. Short story - he's been gearing up for this promotion the past 1.5 years and the job was basically created for him, with everyone at the company telling him he should get it. Understandably, he has said that he will be so upset if he doesn't get it due to all the work he's put in.
Because he's so anxious until he knows the result, I'm unsure of whether today is the best day to tell him before he finds out, just in case he doesn't get it and is not in the best frame of mind for a few days. If he does get the job, I want us to be able to fully celebrate it and have it all be about him. On the other hand, I want to tell him and I'm terrible at keeping secrets, and I know he'll realise I'm acting off and possible worry something is on my mind. I also worry that ultimately, he'll be sad/unhappy I didn't tell him right away.

I just don't know what to do. He's an incredible man but he's been a little up and down lately due to all the work stress, so I just have no idea which way it will go if tell him and his interview ends up being unsuccessful.

I think either way he will be stressed. Let’s say he doesn’t get it then you tell him about the pregnancy - he might be then stressing about finances / having to put in energy towards another promotion in the time you may need extra support.

That's the way I'm leaning to be honest. We've discussed it many times in the past, and he's always said that even though this is something he definitely wants, he'll still be terrified initially.
The job he's in now is good financially, it's more that he'll be a bit down in the dumps due to it being something he's wanted for so long. He's already pre-warned me that if he isn't successful, he's going to be very down about it and probably want to be by himself to mope for a few days.

Always be honest and open. Telling him right away may keep his mind busy and happy whilst waiting to hear back from the promotion.

I'd wait, but also be cautious to 'celebrate'. Pregnant doesn't equal baby, in the kindest way.

I also forgot to add that we suffered a miscarriage 3 years ago (not planned and very early on in our relationship), so I know I'll feel especially anxious throughout the first trimester. As much as not telling him would be for his benefit, I equally think I'd be better to tell him so I can tell him about any worries/concerns I have about possibly miscarrying again

Pregnancy should be celebrated no matter what the gestation.
the decision is down to the individual.

So sorry for your loss.
we lost at the beginning of the year, we told everyone straightaway and I’m so glad we did because we had the support when this didn’t go as planned.
we’re pregnant again, now 14 weeks, and we still told everyone from the beginning.
i find the more support you have the better for your mental health.
I hope everything goes well for you x

Thank you ❤️ I'm so sorry for your loss and congratulations on your pregnancy! I hope everything goes well for you all and wish you all the best.
Having a support system is so vital. We didn't tell many people due to it not exactly being planned, so when it did happen I felt very lonely only having the support of hubby. Don't get me wrong, he was fantastic, but it surprised me how lonely it made me feel grieving in secret x

If it's going to be longer than 3 days to find out I'd just tell him. He has time to celebrate the pregnancy before finding out about the job.

And if he doesn't get the job he will mope about it for a while whether he knows about the pregnancy or not.

I'd tell him now.

I'd be gutted if DP kept news like that from me because she was concerned about my reaction, especially when it's news thats going to affect his life forever more. We're a couple, we commiserate together, we celebrate together.

what on earth have you gained with this reply?

OP - whenever you decide to tell him, I hope you celebrate

I think you are overthinking it, just tell him as you normally naturally would.

I really don't see why you would think about not telling him, i can see why you might tell him after his interview but not why you would wait until he hears back, he is an adult and this news will impact him forever, tell him.

This feels strange to me. I have two kids, and I couldn’t wait a second to go to my husband and tell him as soon as I saw a faint line.

DH also has a very stressful, demanding job, but I don’t see how anything at work could possibly be more important than this.

Honestly, I’m confident your husband's priorities and relationship with work will change once the baby arrives anyway.

My company announced redundancy when I thought I might be pregnant so I didn't take a test. I didn't want the extra stress especially as I had had two miscarriages in the previous 6 months both with hyperemesis.

I was made redundant 3 weeks after they announced that they were making head count reductions. I bought a test on my way home from work and greeted my partner when he came home with the positive test and said "I also have some good news". He's 9 months now, I've not worked since the day I took the test. It's been a very different 18 months than I anticipated as I was working towards promotion in 2025 and really enjoying my job. The promotion would have made my skills less niche and opened up other job opportunities. I am now looking for different roles as I've enjoyed the shift towards a more family orientated life.

I get the wanting to wait but also, job opportunities come and go, life is more fragile and special. You know your husband and what he will need over the next few days.

This reminds me of my mother when I told her I was pregnant the very first time.
‘well don’t get excited it might not stick’
brilliant thanks mum.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I’m more concerned that you’re tiptoeing around your husband’s moods to be honest. And him warning you he’ll be moody if he doesn’t get it, I mean, what the actual fuck, can’t he deal with his emotions yet? He sounds petulant.

Thank you!

It's more he warned me about his mood because he'll be quieter and more subdued for a few days and he wanted to pre-warn me not to take it personally. He'll just be a bit sad about it and be in his own thoughts a little more. I do tend to worry about other people's emotions more than I probably should

My mum is similar, always means well but has a talent for saying the wrong thing bless her

I would wait. He doesn’t need to be distracted.

Won’t he be expecting to be told if you’re pregnant or not at this anyway? If your TTC he must know your cycle.

Thank you for all the messages and advice ❤️ It's really appreciated and I definitely agree that I was overthinking it.

So I did tell him that evening and he was over the moon. I did say I'd been going back and forth as to whether to wait and he told me to stop being silly, this is something we both want and there are more important things than a job. He said it probably would have concerned him more if I hadn't have told him, turning it into a weird secret.

It's very early days so fingers crossed this all goes well ❤️ Now I need to attempt to not overthink for the next few months, trying not to panick that it's going to end in a miscarriage like the last time 🤞🏻 x

If it were me, I’d tell my husband straight away regardless.

His interview is done so what will be will be, this news may even put everything else into perspective and he might feel less stressed about the result.

congratulations - I hope you’re not feeling too bad in this weather ❤️

My partner and I never tracked cycles TTC, he had no idea when my period was due to not and I didn't test until my period was late. We had sex when we want to have sex and if that resulted in a pregnancy we were happy.