Abortion

[Traumatized1]

Hi I'm 13 weeks on Tuesday and I've got a surgical abortion booked. They called my last Friday for pre op and the doctor put general which I said to him along with sedation is a hard NO.. I'm here at 13 weeks because they denied me treatment at 7 weeks because of their policy to follow last mestual date.. I have pvos and I no my body and I was right about my dates. I'm petrified with no one to told to. My partner wants to keep it but I'm scared of having a boy . We already have a boy and he is emotional and physically abusive to us and 8 can not put myself or my relationship through another 16years years of torture. I know I sound bad and I'm sorry but it's really hard. I told the pre op lady what happened and she said I would of spoken to her and she would never turn a woman down but they did. I know I'm on a short time line to sort this out. The whole experience of what orchid have done has made me angry and lose trust in them . I had planned in my head to have a local and punish myself for getting pregnant and doing this but they won't do it unless I have a general. Ive been open for once and told them I've SH and I know I will feel regret and want to H^rm myself and the doctor said well someone will deal with that after. I'm scared and I'm to blame . Im having nightmares and carnt cope . For the last week's I've became numb to it all and I don't know if it's the perinatal depression I've had before but how can I make a choice of that's what's going on because 8 don't want to live with regret aswell. I appreciate everyone's opinions but please don't kick me down even more

Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry! Is there any support you can get with your son? There’s nothing wrong with wanting to terminate if you can’t give anymore. You’re self aware and you are so important too. It’s ok.

We have tried for years to get help. Cahms have us on a year waiting list as I've had enough. I just don't know how much more I can give . I forgot to add I have 2 others an 18 yr old and a 2.5 so u could say I could do it but I think it's because we had an early gender blood test and it's a boy

Whilst every baby is different, I completely appreciate your choices as to why your not wanting to continue your pregnancy.

You shouldn’t punish yourself and want to inflict pain because of this though. You tried to seek support earlier on and were turned away.

You're not to blame, and there's nothing to punish yourself for. Is there a friend who'd go with you? Take care of yourself and please don't feel guilty. Wishing you all the best.

Thank U to all . I've had to make the decision to keep it the pre op call didn't go well. They told me I had no choice but general which is still a hard NO. She got very nasty and argumentative towards me to the point of me crying my eyes out in the car by scared mongering me over it's size and pain. She also called today and I told her that I felt there was no other choice for me if they wasn't going to work with what I want . and she then started shouting and arguing at me so I had to tell her I'm not going to argue with u thank you bye. I carnt trust them with my body with all they have done . I've tried to explain that I wouldn't of been this far if they hadn't refused me at 8 weeks in which I had a midwife refer to GP then gp refer me to them and then during the appointment I felt pushed and rushed into deciding which method even after expressing my thoughts and feelings of what this will do to my mental health and he said we will sort it out afterwards. Yes I've tried counselling but with the shock and my numbness I still couldn't think properly. I'm going to have to see what happens next I guess.

I'm so sorry @Traumatized1 . It's disgusting that she spoke to you like that. These people are supposed to be sympathetic and caring! Is there any way you could go to a private clinic?

I am sorry you have been treated so badly. You have obviously has an incredibly tough time with your older son. Please consider asking for perinatal mental health support if you are keeping your baby. You need proper support.

Ive got a perinatal apt soon and I've looked into private care but I'm afraid Id have to kidney to afford their prices. I called MSI and I was out of their catchment and bpas has moved to Nottingham because there refurbishing my local clinic. I just simply have no time because cut off was 13 plus 6 and I'm 13 plus 2.

Why won’t you have the GA? It’ll be really quick with no pain. They are experts who do this all the time- they know a local is not going to work at this gestation.