Struggling with infertility after news of my friend and sister's pregnancies

[DandyBlueFawn]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here. Been TTC for two years, currently with a Fertility specialist and keeping positive. I am 30, my partner is 32. I have been struggling as of recent, my best friend told me she is expecting, I didn’t expect this at all, but wanted to be supportive and a form of security for her. She had her 12wk scan yesterday, baby is healthy and she is excited. I feel overwhelmed with emotion. Overjoyed for her and excited to be a part of this baby’s life, at the same time, I’m broken in two. My heart aches and I feel empty. I feel like a mother without a baby. Today was a difficult day, I gave myself space to sit with it, when my mum called in to my house, upset with herself and the news she had to tell me. My little sister, who is 6 years younger than me, with her partner one year and not living together, are expecting a baby. I feel like I can’t catch my breath. I dreamt of the day that I would be able to tell my parents they were expecting one grandparents for the first time, so many things I have lost. I need help please, anyone. The grief I am feeling is consuming and I don’t know what to do -

thank you to anyone who has advice

This sounds utterly heartbreaking and I am so sorry that you are going through it. Your feelings are valid and this is an exceptionally difficult chapter in your life. Sending you lots of love from a stranger.

I offer no solutions because this isn’t an issue to be fixed. You’ve asked for help though, I’d recommend making a list of 5 things that help you when in the worst moments. For me it would be a bath with a hot drink, walk in nature with music, eating a favourite food or meal, and so on. Choose one thing from your list and do it, more if you can.

Be kind to yourself and know that as awful as you feel right now, this feeling of deep despair will pass. Grief is an awful and unpredictable beast

@DandyBlueFawn I have been in your exact shoes and had to sit with the same feelings and emotions you are currently going through.

we tried for our baby for 4 years and every time I saw a pregnancy announcement or birth announcement, it broke my heart a little bit more. I stopped going on social media etc etc. it is really tough, infertility is one of the hardest journeys

when I was in the the depths of it though, the thing I concentrated on was fertility treatment, so it’s good you have already started this path. Concentrate on your next appointment, write out questions, timelines etc and stay positive.

everything can change so quickly, in a positive way and infertility will feel like a distant memory hopefully 🤞🏼 x

I totally get this feeling. I’ve been trying for 18+ months with one miscarriage and no baby. My friend got pregnant first month of trying and is now trying for baby 2 and was upset she’s been trying for 2 months and not pregnant yet. Didn’t know what to say so was just silent. So so hard to deal with when everyone is getting pregnant but you. Sending support

Same as you darling .. first baby arrived alone after 5 years low motility diagnosis (it only takes one swimmer !) second without request 19 months later and 3rd .. 4 years after him .. never any form of contraception since marriage before first .never give up hope ❤️.