4 weeks and toddler still breastfeeding once a day. Should I wean?

[Lua2203]

Hi everyone,
I’ve just found out I’m 4 weeks pregnant (yay!) and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed about breastfeeding my 2-year-old. Over the last month and a half, we’ve been gradually weaning, and we are now down to just one single feed at 9:00 PM to help him fall asleep.
The thing is, he’s been quite sad and clingy lately (especially at nursery), and I’m worried this prolonged weaning process is stretching out his grief. On top of that, I’m feeling a bit anxious about whether keeping this last feed could harm my early pregnancy (I get some mild cramps/twinges after he nurses, though no bleeding).
My husband is supportive, but our toddler refuses to fall asleep with anyone else but me.
Should I stop completely now or hold on for a bit longer? Did any of you breastfeed through the first trimester or drop the last sleep feed cold-turkey? Would love to hear your experiences and any tips for a gentle final drop! Thank you x

I breastfed my 2yr old ask through my pregnancy and now I'm feeding him and his newborn sister!
There's absolutely no evidence that breastfeeding through pregnancy is dangerous. It can be very uncomfortable/painful but it isn't dangerous.

I was really overwhelmed at first at the thought of being up and down with two children all night but 9mths is a long time for a toddler and a lot can change. I didn't deliberately change anything but my son started sleeping through the night while I was pregnant and suddenly Daddy became his preferred parent too which made me bring in hospital for almost a week after birth so much easier!

There's no right or wrong here. It's simply whatever you feel will make you and your cold most comfortable

Try a night where you are out of the house at bedtime - with both my DC they are clingy when they know I'm around but they're perfectly happy with DH if I'm out.

I breastfed my 2 year old all the way through my pregnancy and his sister is 3 months old now and I’m breastfeeding both of them. It’s absolutely possible if you want to. Though of course if you would rather stop that’s absolutely your choice.

I bf DD until 3 weeks after DS was born, when she self-weaned (at age 3). I wouldn't stop for the reasons you have listed but it is absolutely ok to stop if you have had enough!

You don't have to wean because you are pregnant. My daughter self weaned when I was about 7 months pregnant with the second, I didn't make her though. My other 2 I carried on feeding until 2.5 and 3.5, so no need to stop because of their age either if it settles them. My sister tandem fed her 2 year old and newborn for a while too. You can stop if you are ready to obviously but there's no need to if you are thinking you are somehow harming your unborn child.

I weaned my two and a half year old some time in the first trimester because I found feeding intensely uncomfortable when pregnant. I just gradually reduced down over a couple of weeks. We were also only doing a bedtime feed by then so I think I did 5 mins, then 4, then 3 and so on until we just fully replaced it with cuddles. Then in the third trimester when my pelvic pain got really bad, husband took over bedtimes and has done most of her bedtimes ever since while I feed baby to sleep! I worried a lot that it would be difficult but it was surprisingly painless.

I fed my 2.5 year old until I was 6 months pregnant with my second. At that point I developed extreme feeding aversion and I absolutely hated it, so we weaned. I obviously had a lot of guilt over it but I think he was ok with it really.

You don’t need to stop unless you have or want to.

I was in a very similar position as you and actually found my milk dried up so gradually in pregnancy that my DS just had shorter and shorter feeds at night until he just started coming in for a cuddle and falling asleep. Happened really naturally without me trying anything and I’m sure it’s because my pregnancy hormones slowed letdown/ reduced my milk.

I finally succeeded in weaning my toddler when I was 30 weeks pregnant. I eventually just did it cold turkey and used lots of distractions and cuddles instead.

As far as I know, it's not dangerous to keep breastfeeding, if you want to. It can be tough when your nipples are extra sensitive and you're dealing with a million other pregnancy symptoms though.

Emma Pickett is your friend here. Lots of information on weaning an older child while protecting their emotions (and yours).

There’s no evidence that breastfeeding in pregnancy harms the pregnancy.

What can happen during pregnancy is that mum develops aversion. Also your milk very likely will dry up and then revert to colostrum for the new baby. Some toddlers don’t mind this and will dry nurse, some will self wean at this point.

Emma also has information on tandem feeding should you continue to breastfeed both.

Also came to recommend Emma Pickett she has lots of resources about BF in pregnancy and tandem feeding