Forceps after induction at 42 weeks and 5 days. (With water birth plans)

[Sarahpoet]

Hello All,
I hope your all well. I’ve been reflecting on my birth experience which I put away for a long time and at present I am feeling like I have the space to go there again I suppose. I wanted to share as it was a strange birth and nothing like I wanted, as it happens sometimes. My husband and I were staying at my parents, I was planned to have a water birth at the hospital. I wanted it all to happen naturally and preference was at home but that just wasn’t an option where we were.
the due date came and went and the pressure began to rise in my household which unfortunately doesn’t help. I didn’t want an induction but my midwife put it in the diary and said to go just to have my pulse checked and so I did - of course they went through the dangers of going passsed the date I was at 42.5 weeks.. and I decided to go with it. They called it a little nudge (the pessuary). I had one, went home, nothing happened, then they put another one in and I felt heart races or some funny feeling, it might have been connecting with my daughter at the time but they hadn’t heard of it before. With the second one, the contractions started a few hours after, and I was 6 cm dilated within another 2 hours or so cannot remember exactly but it wasn’t too long. I was left alone for the most part and my husband couldn’t be there with me at night until the labour started. Finally when I was 6cm they took me down to the labour ward, and to a room with a bed. This is sort of the moment I’m going over in my head: I said ‘I was ment to have a water birth’ and they looked at me and said it would take 30 minutes or something, I just said yes assuming they knew that the suggestion meant it was possible too.. it wasn’t… I was stood at the bath and 10 minutes in I was at the side of the bath standing having surges big contractions and big moans. I should have laid down and had my baby. To be honest they didn’t discuss it much with me, perhaps it was all too fast for both me and baby, but the doctor came in and said baby was having dips in her pulse and we had to go into room with multiple drs have an epidural and forceps to take her out. It was shocking to hear this and we went ahead with that as it was urgent. It was very scary as my precious baby was about to be born and I was numbed. The dr who came to get me at the ward and gave me the inclination there was time to have a bath said it was good I came in when I did because the placenta was not looking good. I suppose I just regret not just going ahead with the labour room and wondered if I could have avoided the epidural and forceps. But I believe the pessuary induction increases the chances of that more as it speeds it up. I wonder if it was my pcos which delayed my birth or if it was because I didnt feel comfortable in my parents house. I know the main thing is that she is ok now, the past is gone and there’s only the present. I just feel like that was a sacred moment I wish I hadn’t missed and I would love to hear other women that went through the same and their story. Thank you. Please be kind.

How old is your baby? You sound like you need to talk through things with a midwife as a debrief
Childbirth can be very traumatic in many ways and I think you need to talk about it. Hope you’re ok x

I think communication is a huge thing that is often awful in labour. They should have been talking to you throughout so you clearly understood why you couldn't have the water birth.

I think though that framing it as the water birth being a sacred process that never happened is not productive, you should try to reframe it, thank god the doctor was on it, they got your baby out safely.

I had a late (41+10) induced forceps birth so I get it. But ultimately the baby and you are safe.

My experience of birth was somewhat similar, I had a pessary induction at 41 weeks and went on to have an epidural and ventouse delivery.

What do you feel you missed out on? Do you mean that the joy was taken out of the experience by the fear and stress of being told your baby was potentially at risk? That must be so hard to hear at an already emotional and vulnerable time.

I heard something on a podcast whilst I was pregnant, an obstetrician was talking about forceps and ventouse deliveries and explaining that the instruments are there to basically guide the baby into the right position and stop them from ‘slipping back up’ in between contractions. But it is still the mother’s body pushing the baby out with the contractions (whether they can feel them or not). So you still did all the hard work in birthing your baby, even if you needed a little help.

Sorry that you didnt have the birth experience you wanted, OP. Its never too late to ask for a debrief of your notes if you think it would be helpful. I have PCOS and never heard of it leading to delaying labour (i have PCOS and both my DC came before their due dates but that is just anecdata really). If your hospital does have a cut off date for debriefs, maybe see if you can have a consultation with someone privately who deals with tricky births? They might support you in working through it. Good luck.

I would suggest you ask for a birth debrief, so you can go through everything that happened with a midwife. But honestly, at 42 + 5 your placenta was probably pretty ropey, and I was so relieved your post didn’t also have a poor outcome for your baby.

Hi all thank you for your replies. No absolutely, The utmost main thing was that Sophie was safe and birthed. it all down to that and I don’t see the water birth as the ‘all’ ❤️. It was just that they had me booked for it but they didn’t really talk about it with me when I was there or mention it. It was slightly disorganised I suppose, I could have mentioned it but I didn’t think it was disregarded. After talking about it and booking it in with my midwife - I was just expecting it. It was more the lack of communication and clear guidance on how my induction would perhaps also speed things up and to for example be aware that a water birth is unlikely if I’ve had the pessary twice. I think I will go through the debrief and request to discuss it with someone as it was really just all so quick and hard to navigate. It was such a lot to process. My daughter coming out fine was the one most important thing which is why I put the rest behind me. It is just something I revisited because it was unfamiliar territory and I suppose I wish I hadn’t said ‘I was going to have a water birth’ but I didn’t know what was the outcome.
I just feel I missed out on feeling it. The desensitising part is something I am not happy with and makes me really sad if I go into that in my heart.
At the end of the day I am very grateful to all at the hospital who helped me birth my baby. 🙏🏼 and that I and her are well.
Anyway, it’s ok, I have the time and space to heal my body with yoga and meditation now so thank you all.
sending you all blessings
Sarah

I had similar with my first, planned to be as natural as possible with water birth if possible. But her head was in a funny position and my contractions slowed down when I was 9cm dilated so I had to go on a drip then ended up with ventouse delivery.
Not what I wanted and I was quite traumatised I think because it ended up being so long and I felt really out of control with the drugs (turns out diamorphine really knocks me out!).
Eventually though I had to come to terms with the fact that my baby was born healthy and I was pretty much unscathed too once the stitches healed. That’s the only thing that really matters in the end.
I also focused on appreciating the medical care I had because without it my DD would have likely died, and maybe I would have too.

It helps to talk through it all so you can put it to rest and move on. Talk to your midwife/HV/GP if you feel you need an official discussion.

Also just to add my second birth was very uneventful and normal.

This would possibly be better in childbirth rather than pregnancy op.

all the best.

I agree a birth debrief would be really helpful.

Not sure if this does help but my first was a tricky labour and second was perfect on paper. Went into labour and baby born 3 hours later in a pool dimmed lights and very little midwife intervention. From this take 2 things:

1. don’t let it put you off having another
2. despite being most people’s ideal birth it was still…messy and weird and I remember getting out the pool cord hanging out my vag dripping bloody water everywhere and thinking Jesus this isn’t as dreamy as it looks on insta. I think had to get out, dry off, have a couple of small stitches and while it was better than labour 1 I didn’t really had a magical moment until I held my baby on my chest when all sorted post birth and I remember that so vividly with my first as well.

I think birth is one of those things where we have to let go of what might have been and accept what was ❤️ congratulations on beautiful Sophie

You’ve named your baby OP I’m not sure if you meant to do that

Op ask the moderators to remove your name and your child’s name too.

I had a birth that scared the living soul out of me first time around. Thank goodness by DH was there to advocate for me to not be treated like a brood mare and a slab of meat.

That said I too am grateful that myself and DD are now OK. I also now put the birth down to life’s crap sometimes and it wasn’t great at all. But we’re OK.

if it’s hanging over you please try and find a suitable therapist who specialises in this area. It’s very easy to dismiss genuine trauma when some of us have been able to move forward. I had to get some help.

I’m sorry you had this experience. I didn’t have the same experience as you but the lack of communication really resonates with me. During pregnancy I was led to believe I would have a lot of agency during labour but on the day I didn’t really, and prior discussions with my midwives weren’t taken into account. Continuity of care improves birth outcomes but the nhs isn’t set up to provide it. I’m pretty sure no one even looked at my birth plan, despite me bringing several copies along and naively believing it would guide my care.

Maternity care is stretched and not set up to accommodate women’s birth preferences. On the other side, the hypo/ natural birthing movement also has quite a lot to answer for in setting up women with unrealistic expectations of birth.

Thank you all. I appreciate encouragement for a second, maybe one day. I really appreciate talking about it with other mums as I haven’t talked about it that much. ❤️❤️❤️ sending you all lots of love. Thanks for your messages and sharing ❤️🙏🏼😊