Worried about alcohol and drugs before realising I was pregnant

[GeorgiasBaby]

Advice/support desperately needed! I’m 7 weeks & 2 days pregnant - I did not find out I was pregnant until literally a few days ago. I’m freaking out so much, this wasn’t planned and I’ll be completely honest throughout the last 7/8 weeks I’ve been a bit of a riot, I’ve been on holidays and to a festival and to parties where I’ve drank alcohol (not loads) but I’ve also taken a concoction of recreational substances (various). I am spiralling in my head, what if I’ve caused damage!! How would I know? What do I do?! I obviously want to keep my baby as does my partner, just to be clear I am not a drug addict nor do I have issues with drugs or alcohol but I definitely have been a little wild prior to finding out I’m pregnant. I’m really upset and I’m so so so anxious and scared. Obviously Google hasn’t helped, I feel so silly.

Also untrue. Stress doesn’t negatively affect foetuses unless extreme situations. Mothers in war zones the world over give birth to healthy happy babies. People spout such unhelpful shit.

You have ZERO evidence to say any of your ‘friends’ child’s disabilities are related to drinking while she was pregnant. I’d question your post entirely as it’s so immature and ridiculous but as a minimum why you would call someone a friend then talk about their kid like that ‘weird looking’ really??!!
OP I have several friends who had accidental pregnancies when we were younger and getting narcotics down our necks, their kids are grown and just grand x

She’s not really a friend, just someone I know/ friend of friend. I think the way the child looks is fairly correlated with foetal alcohol syndrome but you are right, it may just be a coincidence.

Yeah I feel you could be right on that actually. Keep quiet 🤫. That awful hangover i had was incredible..I couldn't hold down red wine at all after it, it was a terrible feeling, sick as a dog, pure red wine coming out my nose and everything, I remember my mum saying theres something not right with you? Why are you so sick like this after 2 bloody glasses of wine? 😤. Yup..pregnant. I now call her my little vampire 🧛‍♀️

You have contradicted yourself.
There is a large evidence base which suggests high levels of cortisol does affect the unborn.
Anyway, I wasn’t saying it to worry the OP I was merely emphasising the need for her to forgive herself and not worry about things she can’t change

Also, SS have far more pressing things to be doing than getting involved with every pregnant woman who took a bit of cocaine in early stages of pregnancy. I wouldn’t worry about that OP, the midwives are there for reassurance if you need it

Op I am so sorry you are having this worry.

i have no personal experience but this page from the pregnancy charity Tommys looks very helpful https://www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/illegal-or-recreational-drugs-and-pregnancy

I would suggest giving their helpline a call. They have specially trained midwives who can help you and you can ring anonymously for advice and support

I have sat on my hands for ages and I really don’t want to shame or blame the OP. It’s absolutely not true that drugs or alcohol do not have an effect so early into pregnancy. Up to five per cent - and that’s a conservative estimate - of the UK’s child population is now considered to have foetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Neonatal abstinence syndrome is also a major consideration. I really wish that people would not minimise these issues. I am an adoptive parent and my elder adoptive daughter is registered blind and is multiply neurodivergent, as a direct consequence of her exposure to drugs and alcohol in utero.

I’m aware that I’m probably the bad fairy here and I know I will be lambasted for it, and I’m sure that people will be trying to make the OP feel better, but please could we stop spreading misinformation. Living with the effects of prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol can be very challenging.

You really trying to make the girl feel bad when shes already feeling shit? Did you know you were pregnant and didnt drink at all? Doubt it. Unless your tee total.

Come on, be real!

Were taking folic acid when you conceived? If not, have you started now?

It is impossible for us to say, but what is done is done. The best thing you can do is take all the vitamins you need, take folic acid, and make your lifestyle super healthy. So many people take recreational drugs, a police officer once told me it’s like 1/3 of young adults, and there aren’t lots of babies with two heads etc. As long as you don’t keep drinking or taking drugs you can minimise any negative impact that’s happened.

I really do appreciate the reassurance. Moving forward I will of course not engage in any of the activities leading up to finding out. I have started with folic acid and relevant supplements to support the remainder of my pregnancy. I do eat really well and exercise and all those other good things. I’m just disappointed and upset with myself, even though I know I didn’t know, the feeling is still there. I just hope it all works out, I wonder if I can find out specifically if any damage has been done other than the standard screenings for the major abnormalities. Perhaps I would need to pay for this? X

Hi there, don't worry about judgemental comments. It must be lovely to have never made a mistake...
I drank alcohol before I realised I was pregnant, it happens.
I also happen to work with children with foetal alcohol syndrome. All of them have mothers who are alcoholics. These are women who knew they were pregnant and continued to drink profusely throughout their pregnancy.
I am not a doctor, so I don't know the risk, but my daughter is 15, doing GCSEs and is lovely, despite my wild night out before she became known.
I would definitely mention your worries at your booking in appointment. I think that you will be told to look after yourself, and forgive yourself.
Good luck with your pregnancy xx

But do you know if the birth mum had a night or two out before she knew she was pregnant, or was a constant drink/ drug user through pregnancy, which is far far more likely? These are very different things and your specific experience does not make you an expert on any way.

You’ve told her to be scared about SS involvement ffs!

Nowhere am I claiming to be an expert. But I can happily provide a gazillions links to medical research that highlights that there is no safe exposure to drugs or alcohol for a growing foetus. I feel awful for the OP and she has my utmost sympathy and empathy. But it does no one any justice to pretend that FASD is not a growing issue in this country.

Most people’s lives continue as normal until they realise they are pregnant. Only those who are actively trying to get pregnant will have cut those things out, the majority I would say will have been drinking beforehand if that’s what they usually do.

I was drinking and smoking (no drugs though) before I found out I was pregnant with both mine, both at 7 weeks too. Obviously I instantly stopped all alcohol and smoking from that point on. I didn’t feel any guilt as I wasn’t aware. Both my children were born fit and healthy with absolutely no damage done. I didn’t even think to mention it to anyone tbh. You can only do the right thing from now, now that you know. The past is the past.

The 12 week scan will clear up any worries you may have.

Also coming to say this. I think you’d have miscarried if you’d done damage.

im sure everything will be fine. Cocaine has virtually no effect on the fetus. Not sure about Ket but when I was a student midwife I met many mothers who'd taken drugs before they knew, and quite a few who continued and their babies were considered normal at birth.

Nobody in this thread is pretending this. They are reassuring someone who used drugs recreationally prior to knowing they are pregnant, and won't be doing so going forward.

Up to 5%. I mean that could be 0.01%. You sound like you need an education in data manipulation.

neonatal abstinence syndrome? The op hasn’t been taking opioids throughout her pregnancy.

plus the op hasn’t been drinking. So the bad ‘fairy’ (so so weird) can back off and sit back on her hands perhaps.

No you can’t. Because actual medical research, as in double blind studies, would be the most unethical research to conduct since the Nazis.

No one will give you a safe dose of anything illegal or alcohol, and that’s fine. That doesn’t mean anyone has proved there’s no safe dose. Au contraire, the data says women who are completely teetotal fare worse. Probably because of confounding variables. No double blind studies…

Not quite. Try again.

I wouldnt be too hard on yourself as it wasnt intentional. My niece was 21 and liked to party as they do. One day she went to her gp as she was feeling out of sorts and found out she was 19 weeks pregnant. Like you, she was mortified and stopped drinking and partying and her daughter is now a bright 15 year old sitting her gcse exams. Just be open and honest at your ante natal appointment and hopefully all will be ok. Good.luck.

Aw I'm sorry to hear this OP, sounds so scary. Totally understandable how this has happened, please don't listen to the mean shaming posts, you didn't know you were pregnant at the time! One thing that is important to do right now is to start taking folic acid supplements to prevent neural crest defects - go to the pharmacy, they will give you the right dose for pregnancy

@Flannelfeet i think you might have misunderstood my post? Op is worried and Tommys are amazing for reassurance during pregnancy. The link I sent basically says all is ok in the vast majority of cases eg if someone takes drugs as a one off in early pg.