Struggling after 4 pregnancy losses and hoping for a future sibling

[Luciechapman]

I have just come for a rant and maybe a bit of hope for the future I think. Yesterday i had medical management for a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks. This is my 4th pregnancy loss. They've all been different so I don't even really qualify for any investigations. We had a TFMR 22 weeks for a very severe NTD, followed by a twin pregnancy where I lost one of them at 7 weeks, followed by a chemical, followed by this missed miscarriage. Thankfully in my twin pregnancy the other one survived and is a thriving 2 year old but I am desperate to give him a sibling. It is just so unfair how this happens to some people. We do everything we can to have a healthy pregnancy and it still ends badly. I don't know how many more losses I can take

I am so sorry for your losses. You should definitely be able to get some tests done, at the very least things like thyroid function blood tests. I would speak to your GP and see what they can offer you, all the best to you.

Im so sorry for your losses. There are auto immune and blood clotting disorders that can cause multiple miscarriages like aps. Id get checked. You should definitely be eligible for further investigations

Research has shown that the quality of the sperm is often related to both miscarriages and eptopic pregnancies; how healthy is your partner?

Has he stopped drinking/smoking? Is he a healthy weight? Does he exercise? Does he sleep well and manage any health conditions properly? Does he avoid cycling and any other sperm-damaging activities?

@WelshRabBiteinteresting how does sperm cause ectopic pregnancies?

I’m not a medical expert, so you will want to fact check this, but links have been proven between poor sperm quality and abnormal embryo development, obviously an eptopic pregnancy is an abnormal embryo development.

My key point was that if the health of the mother is all good and there is no obvious cause of the miscarriages, could it a sperm issue? It’s really important that the father plays his part in ensuring the best quality sperm is involved in the reproduction process.

Gone are the days when the burden solely falls on the woman now we know both parties should be keeping themselves healthy when trying for a baby.

@WelshRabBite my husband has very severe Crohn’s disease but we’ve been assured the medication he is on shouldn’t affect our pregnancies. I do worry though, he was in hospital for 6 months last year! We did managed to have one healthy baby 2 years ago though while he was also on this medication. I do get him to take lots of different vitamins that should help. He doesn’t drink or smoke and tries to be as healthy as he can. He has a stoma so is limited to what he can eat too. Thanks your reply

Sounds like you’re both doing all you can; wish you luck for your journey.

@WelshRabBite thank you and thanks for the advice! I guess sometimes you can just do everything right and it still not work out! Trying to be positive for the future though!