Pregnant with my 3rd - due jan 2027 but I’m on the fence…

[Yupbabs]

I’m on the fence about this pregnancy. I’m only 23. I don’t want to continue it one second then the next minute I’m having doubts. My partner wants me to keep it. But we already have 2 kids, a 20 month old and an almost 4 year old. The age gap between my 1st and 2nd would be the exact same gap between the 2nd and 3rd.

i was hoping to go to university next year, and close the baby chapter once and for all. I can’t help but feel guilty though; who could this baby be? Is it a boy or girl? What would they be like? What would they look like? I phoned BPAS and they sent out pills, the tablets have been sitting on my bedside table for the past week.

i shrunk half an inch with each child - no wonder all the people down my 3 year old’s nursery think I’m crazily young, I’m about the height of a 12 year old at this point lol. (That’s another thing, judgement! It gets me down and makes me feel inferior, having a third would definitely subject me to more negative attention when out and about)
I love my son but I remember feeling guilty when he was very young as he took up so much of my time, my daughter was only 2 and I feel like I missed out on her toddlerhood, having a third would divide up even more time between my kids and I’d end up missing out on my son being 2 as well… (I was living on autopilot, can’t remember anything from that time, I became agoraphobic and didn’t leave the house, it was no life for my 2 year old)
I have HG with each pregnancy too… there’s a lot making me not want to go through with it.

anybody else been in a similar situation? What would you do?

Can you afford 3 children? Do you have enough space for 3 children? Can you handle HG with 2 small kids? I wouldn’t worry about the judgement - 23 is not abnormally young to have a baby so just ignore any judgement if you do keep it. You seem to be leaning towards not having the baby I would say from your post. imagine if you weren’t pregnant anymore. Would you feel relief or sadness? You need to make the right decision for you and your existing children.

We could afford it. The space is a problem, we were planning on moving in the near future anyway. I’d be 5 months pregnant on my 24th birthday. I think it’s because I have a bit of a baby face and I’m short, everybody thinks I’m much younger but you are correct, I shouldn’t take any notice.

id imagine I would feel a mix of emotions. I like having two kids, one of each sex… I enjoy the current dynamics and I feel done. I definitely would never have planned a 3rd but now it’s there, I feel partially attached and I think that’s what’s creating the flip flopping back and forth between keeping it and terminating.
I do feel like it would be best to terminate though, emotions aside.
thank you for your reply

It does sound such a hard position to be in. I hope you’re able to come to decision you feel is right for you. I’m sorry I don’t have any experience but I didn’t want to read and run.

Thank you for your support ❤️

Would you partner still want it he had to be the primary carer? And you went back to uni and got to start your life?

It's hard but sometimes you have to make a practical decision that you know will benefit you in future when you know times aren't getting easier, even if it isn't the emotional choice. And you said you felt done. Maybe choose the way your head is taking you. I'm so so glad I have two - I'm not sacrificing so many other choices in committing to more, and yet I feel so happy I had those two.

I would have another talk with your partner.

It’s not unusual to feel done at 2, or to have a termination when you already have kids.

I have 2 kids and if i got pregnant again, it would be difficult because i’m sure like you, i would always wonder who they would be and would feel guilty, but i would 100% terminate, because other than feeling guilty, there is not a single other reason for me to have a 3rd.