High risk early pregnancy and pressure to attend school residential

[Sunshine8011]

5 weeks pregnant and high risk pregnancy due to recurrent losses. I am a Y6 teacher and due on a residential trip all weekend with the children. I am currently taking medication to support my pregnancy (aspirin and progesterone pessaries). I have expressed my anxiety to my head teacher as I am staying in a room with another member of staff who doesn’t know about my pregnancy due to how early I am. I have to lay still after taking the pessaries both morning and night for 30mins to an hour. My head has suggested I still go and said I’ll be fine. What are your thoughts on this? Should I point blank refuse and ask them to send someone in my place? No risk assessment has been done. She has just suggested I opt out of the activities but the days are extremely long. Up at 7.30 and do not get to leave the children until 8.30-9pm.

I am also on aspirin and progesterone after loses and am around 5 weeks pregnant too. So I know exactly how you feel.

If I was you I would still go. It will probably be a good distraction to be busy and reduce the negative thought and anxiety about the pregnancy. I personally don't think the progesterone adminstration should put you off, I would just do this discreetly before bed or before you get up.

I do think you should push for a risk assessment though.

She needs to do a risk assessment for you, it’s a legal requirement for pregnant staff members to have one.
In your position I would continue to push not to go, it doesn’t sound essential.
Also if anything did happen and you needed to leave at short notice who’s going to look after the kids then, would you be leaving the other staff a person short?

No way should you go
It’s unpaid overtime anyway and should never be an expectation.
You should just be able to say you don’t feel able to currently and not need a reason.
I say this as a teacher.
Good will is running very short.
Put yourself first.

Oh gosh, I really feel for you. Having to share a room whilst having progesterone sounds incredibly intrusive and uncomfortable. Is there any way you could have your own room at the accommodation? And go and rest during the day? If not, you could go to your GP and be signed off for a week for pregnancy related reasons. It’s an incredibly difficult position for you to be in and I’m sorry your head isn’t more sympathetic. I do understand it’s very awkward for the school as they will need someone to go in your place at the last minute. I hope you’re ok x

So I think you should probably ask not to go. I don’t think the medication itself is a problem and it won’t make a difference to the pregnancy but you will be feeling stressed and anxious and if anything went wrong it would play on your mind. You won’t be fully focused on the kids. Plus @user293948849167is right to ask what would happen if you need to leave.

If you are able to prioritise yourself and your wellbeing right now that would be good.

I have been through similar things so congratulations on your pregnancy but I do know how hard it is to not be overwhelmed by worry in this situation!

love to you and sorry for your losses. Xxx

From an HR perspective if an employee came to me with this request, of course I’d approve.

There is a duty of care to ensure you are well looked after and able to take your medication in the way directed. I wouldn’t want you to suffer any adverse impact from attending the trip. We would never consider sending you in these circumstances.

100% don't go. It's completely unreasonable to expect you to.

It actually is far better to be able to stay lying still for a lot longer at night once you have the pessaries - they are the reason I managed to have my last 2 children successfully after so many losses. Also it’s VERY important you have enough rest and this isn’t possible when on a school residential! Just refuse to go

Just say you aren't going. They seriously wouldn't be able to make you without breaking at least 2 laws.

Don't go. Prioritise yourself and your family and excuse yourself on medical grounds.

I'm sorry for your losses. I've had 3 myself and also used progesterone pessaries. Personally, I found using them rectally better in terms of mess and was never told to lay still for 30mins after insertion!

Has a risk assessment been done. I've had to work away but never shared a room. If you had your own room, would you still go? I'd also want to know what medical facilities are locally. Not that anything can be done IF things didn't work out. How far is the camp thing from your home?

Sorry if TMI, but with my 2nd and 3rd loss, I kept the products in a sterile jar and went to the local EPU. The 2nd loss that wouldn't do genetic testing, but it was reassuring to know the pregnancy wasn't molar and to get a report showing I did have a foetus there (hadn't had a scan yet in that loss). The 3rd loss, they did do genetic testing and I knew the cause for the loss. I obviously wouldn't want you to lose another pregnancy, but if it happened on the trip- what options would you have?

OP don't go

I work in education and when I was pregnant with DD1, I had a heavy bleed and GP advised me over the phone the pg was probably not viable.

I had a 5h periodic review mtg 1.5 h away, and went. All day driving sitting on a towel, going to loo to check pad etc. Got home at 10pm in tears of exhaustion.

DD was okay but God I wish I hadn't. I felt like I could not say no as the panel couldn't happen without me. But what if I had lost the baby? I would always wonder if that stress contributed.

OP, ask yourself what if, it is horrible but what if you had another loss? You would always think what if I hadn't gone, would it have been different.

Whatever happens with this baby, you are its mum. Put it, and yourself, first 💗

I wouldn't go. I appreciate the guilt for the kids and the other teacher, but at the end of the day you'll likely have someone who will be willing to step in. If not, the head will have to go!

Risk assessment needs to be completed.

Rest and prioritize you. I say this as someone who's struggled her entire pregnancy with this 🤣. Progesterone makes a massive difference.

Hi guys, appreciate all your messages and responses!! You have made me feel far more valid in my concerns and my anxieties over going. It is about an hour away from home, no possibility to have my own room as our school only have access to two staff rooms due to other schools being there too. There is a male member of staff who will be having his own room then me and the other female teacher will be sharing. The days are very full on so regardless of me opting out of the activities I will be on my feet most of the day. I obviously feel major guilt as my class are really looking forward to the weekend but I do need to put myself first! I’m also anxious about the backlash or awkwardness of me refusing. When I spoke to the head and expressed my concerns today she was just so blasé saying I’d be fine and to set an alarm and sneak off to the shared toilet before the other staff member wakes up in order to administer the progesterone?! I’m absolutely shattered as it is and the more I think about it the more I am stressing out!

Also, thank you for your well wishes and sharing your stories. I’m sorry so many of you have had to deal with loss too but I am really glad to also hear your success stories. Sending love to you all x

Do not go !! No job is more important than your baby, especially with a head like that.

Having taken children on y6 residential there is no way I would go in your position. The children don't sleep much, especially the first night and you end up patrolling in the early hours making sure they are asleep, then they are up at the crack of dawn and someone always needs something, so highly unlikely that you would be able to lie down for an hour uninterrupted morning or night unless your colleague is very accommodating.
Far too much stress.

This get your GP to sign you off until september for a couple of weeks. It's one occasion the school will live.

Talk to your union. If your local rep isn’t helpful get advice from your region. You need a health and safety assessment. Pregnancy is a protected characteristic you have a right to support and to have your needs assessed.
Email your head, copying in your union rep asking for clarification of her advice. Mention, protected characteristics, Equality Act etc. Having to put it in writing her a blasé attitude may well change when she thinks how it might sound being read out at a disciplinary ( hers not yours).

I honestly think these days it is not acceptable to expect anyone to share a room. I’m also a teacher and I can’t see how it’s legal for that
to be an expectation. My school is private, a business, but these centres need to upgrade to modern expectations of privacy.

if you had a room you could relax in I’d say it’s a welcome distraction, but realistically you’re going to find it so stressful. Totally not acceptable. Just say no. your medical circumstances don’t allow, you’re protected as you’re pregnant.

Hi OP, I was thinking of you today. How has it gone speaking to your school? Hope you’re ok x

It is a legal requirement when you tell your employer that you are pregnant that an individual risk assessment is completed AND that it is the employer’s duty to avoid the risks and if that is not possible they MUST move you to alternative duties or suspend you on full pay.

https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1999/3242/regulation/16

OP, please get some support or advice from a union or maternity action UK. You absolutely are protected in law.