Looking for positive stories about coping with severe HG in pregnancy **TW: baby loss and HG**

[Rj226]

trigger warning: hg and baby loss

I’m currently 21st pregnant with my first and I still have severe HG. It was an unexpected pregnancy early in a relationship but a lovely surprise because we knew we both wanted a family together early on. My symptoms are better on medication (xonvea, ondasetron and metoclopramide / omeprazole as needed) but the side effects of the meds and exhausting me and I still have nausea and vomiting. It’s starting to affect my mental health, I have had depression before which was well controlled until I had HG. I feel like I can’t cope with another 20 weeks of this, and it’s affecting my self esteem. I’m too unwell to work, my partner is fed up of hearing how unwell I am, and my closest friends who don’t have children just don’t understand and brush it off like normal morning sickness. The worst part is that well meaning people keep telling me that if I feel bad now then I will feel worse when the baby gets here. I feel a bit hopeless and was wondering if anyone has any positive stories to share. I am dreading post partum if it feels worse that being sick 15 times a day, sedated on meds, trapped nerves in my neck from the vomiting and repeated hospital admissions with secondary liver complications where I genuinely felt like I was dying of dehydration. The pregnancy itself has been complicated; we were having twins and lost one at 11 weeks, surviving baby has complications and I’m trying to handle it all whilst barely able to eat and have persistent nausea. I just need some hope there will be some light at the end of the tunnel here and would love to hear from other people who survived HG and came out the other side.

People telling you that you'll feel worse when the baby gets here don't know what they're talking about! You will feel like a new woman when you're no longer dealing with the vomiting, nausea and medication side effects. Honestly, postpartum and newborn tired will be a breeze compared to the utter hell that is HG.

There is light at the end of the tunnel and you're closer every single day. I'm sorry for the loss of one of your babies and the complications with your little one. I hope your birth experience is as uncomplicated as possible.

Thank you, that’s really reassuring. I think people base it on thier own experiences of feeling like they lose a bit of themselves with post partum because all of a sudden life changes. But my life changed when I was 4 weeks pregnant and had to stop working, could barely get up etc!

I had severe HG with my now 14 year old DD. It disappeared the second I went into labour. I definitely felt better after. People who have never had HG just don’t understand how debilitating it is, my own mother had little sympathy. I always tried to explain to it people as similar to having non stop 24/7 food poisoning. It’s a huge battle, but well worth it. It always helped me to remind myself that I don’t have to go through these weeks again, I did actually start to feel a little better by 30 weeks pregnant but was still medicated. DD is healthy, and I was on a lot of medication. There is a Facebook group Hyperemesis Gravidarum who were amazingly helpful, nights when I felt alone there were always people from the group online to talk to. I have a huge amount of sympathy for you OP, it can feel very isolating x

I have not had HG (severe 24/7 nausea only, for first 15 weeks or so) so I won't pretend to understand HG specifically. But I did hate the last trimester due to different health problems, and the relief when the baby was out was AMAZING. I walked on air. I shimmied through the sleepless nights and endless breastfeeding, because I was not in pain. You will be fine with a newborn, don't worry.

I had severe HG with my second child (now 18!). I was pretty much housebound, debilitated and unable to work.

My symptoms disappeared the moment my DD was born (by emergency c-section in my case).

The sense of relief that evening, when I realised that I didn’t feel nauseous for the first time in months, was immense.

I think this is fairly common, so if nothing else, hang on to that thought!

Not diagnosed HG but awful nausea, metal taste, sickness through all four pregnancies. Went away as soon as they were born and I felt great.

I had HG and it disappeared at about 27 weeks, I was vomitting 30-40 times a day, in hospital repeatedly with a torn throat from all the acid etc and being honest, at about 20 weeks I considered terminating as I was so unwell and couldn’t handle it. But one day I just woke up and wasn’t sick anymore. I immediately felt better from that point onwards and had a lovely few weeks before baby was born.
It is brutal. No one can understand just how hard it is, and the feeling of wanting to scream when one more person told me to just have a ginger biscuit to help the sickness!
Hang on in there, when it gets better, it will be sudden and you’ll feel brilliant again.

I was so ill, and lost so much weight, with my oldest (now a strapping nearly 50 year old) that I was hospitalised several times. I genuinely thought I might die at times. I still remember the whole pregnancy with horror.

Anyone who says you will feel worse is talking out of their backside and can be ignored at the very least, and cheerfully told to fuck off if they keep on.

Mine stopped the morning I went into labour. I was stuffing myself with eggs and bacon when my waters burst!

I have no advice other than hang on in there, eat whatever you can when you can (I could sometimes keep down a spoonful or two of ice cream, for example) and don’t hesitate to get as much medical and other help as you can.

Massive hug to you

I had no idea what HG even was until I had it myself, and honestly people just do not get it. When you can’t even keep a sip of water down and people tell you to eat ginger biscuits… it’s enough to drive you mad! There really isn’t anywhere near enough awareness or understanding of how brutal it is.

I have a positive story for you, as well as a whole load of sickly solidarity!

I found my midwifery team weren’t particularly proactive and ended up having to seek help myself. Luckily my GP prescribed Xonvea and it genuinely helped so much, although it seems to be a postcode lottery because of how expensive it is to prescribe. The side effects can be rough, but if you can push through them it can make such a difference.

I also got a lot of support from Pregnancy Sickness Support — I used their WhatsApp service a few times just for a shoulder to cry on and it honestly helped so much speaking to people who actually understood.

Try to help yourself in any way you can and avoid every trigger possible without guilt. One of mine was literally opening the clean dishwasher, so my DH completely took over that job. Don’t commit to plans, avoid people who minimise what you’re going through, and just focus on surviving day by day. Stock up on any foods or drinks you can tolerate and eat whatever you can, whenever you can.

How are things with work? Are they being sympathetic and supportive? I know that side of things can add so much extra stress when you’re already struggling just to get through the day.

Everyone’s experience is different
but for me the sickness eased a bit in the third trimester, although other things like SPD got worse... One thing I really want to reassure you about, because it caused me huge anxiety when I was pregnant with HG — it stopped the minute my baby and placenta were out! I could drink tea again immediately. It was the strangest thing, going from one extreme to the other almost instantly. The relief was incredible.

And honestly, it absolutely was worth it. During the worst parts of HG I questioned everything because my head was such a scrambled mess from being constantly ill. But the second they put my baby in my arms, it was a million trillion times worth it and I truly believe you’ll feel the same.

Also, if it helps at all, I found the newborn stage so much easier than friends around me did. Sleep deprivation had absolutely nothing on 24/7 nausea. I actually felt relieved once he was here.

You are doing amazingly, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. 20 weeks feels like such a long time when you are in the thick of it but you are half way through already!

@Mysteise you are absolutely correct about sleep deprivation not having a patch on the HG nausea. I could handle anything after having HG.

You won’t feel worse when baby is here, you will feel delighted to have your baby in your arms and a hydrated body. Sorry you are feeling so bad.
There is a pregnancy sickness charity you can contact if you need to speak to someone who understands what you are going through. I remember my husband not fully understanding in my first pregnancy, it’s really hard for others to understand how you can’t even look at your phone without it making you want to vomit or moving your head makes you nauseous.

Well @Rj226 I think I had your pregnancy 30 + years ago . I was off sick from work ( night staff nurse) from 4 weeks with HG , lost a twin at 12 weeks and then had multiple complications with the other baby throughout the pregnancy . I opted to take no drugs for the HG , purely because I didn’t want to create any more issues but I had lots of support from my husband and family so it didn’t matter if I did nothing other than lay about being ill . My nausea and vomiting ended the minute I gave birth , I did however have a pph which led to me fainting on the night I’d given birth and bashing my head and I needed a blood transfusion .

Thank you everyone, your messages and experiences you’ve shared have really helped. I feel reassured that my partner can help a lot when baby arrives, so I can recover a bit and also have time where I can step away. At the moment I wish I could climb out of my own body and just have some respite. I’ve decided to have an elective c section because baby is high risk, the hospital were wonderful about it and at least that means I’ll be able to plan to have my partner around to help with my recovery. It’s nice to hear from people who’ve been through it even though I’m sorry that you all had such hard experiences. I’ve got some support from PSS who are arranging some counselling for me too.

@Rj226
goodness what a lot you are going through.
I’ve just popped on to your thread to echo what others have said. The minute the baby is out the sickness goes away.
i remember eating a fresh apricot that I had brought in with me and looking at it in wonder as it tasted so wonderful.
I vomited 9 times in labour!
the dc is in her twenties now.

the sickness had such an impact on me that when I talk to others going through it, the emotions come back.

Eat/drink whatever you feel you can tolerate. I had Fanta lemon and cola, loads of sweets too. I felt marginally guilty but any food or drink is better than none. Ritz biscuits occasionally too!

ginger biscuits just made me angry haha. I spoke with one other poor lady going through it and told her to just chuck anything like that in the bin if it wasn’t helping!
unless someone has had HG they don’t get it. I had all day morning sickness with dc2 and it was totally different than the HG with dc1 - because I could eat, and more importantly drink, and the nausea was lower level. (I ate plain baked goods every hour or w like scones and tea cakes. Couldn’t have done that with the HG pregnancy)

Oh and to add, as it was such a contrast/relief feeling better and not battling the constant sickness, I coped really well with the early weeks despite the lack of sleep and other adjustments.

I didn’t have HG - my heart goes out to you dealing with the horrors of that - but I had severe nausea from 5wks pregnant until 5days after baby was born - barely ate for the whole pregnancy, lost 20% of body weight and was having my weight monitored by midwife as I’d become clinically underweight. People said the same thing to me re just wait til they’re born etc and it really got me down but honestly I was a new woman. I had a section so was in discomfort from that, establishing breast feeding which was painful and sleep deprived but compared to the previous 8m it was a breeze. I could eat!! I’ve not had anymore and we are one and done - but because of the pregnancy not because of the newborn stage, I’d do that again tomorrow. Hang in there and wishing you all the best 🙂