Going out for drinks tomorrow but hiding pregnancy, help!

[smarSarah]

Tomorrow evening we are meeting up with friends (me, my partner and another couple). We’ve got a dinner reservation but are going to the bar for some drinks first. We always do this whenever we have an evening out together so they will know I’m pregnant if I do anything differently or make an excuses. The only thing I can do is pretend I am drinking (get a coke and say it’s a vodka and coke) but the issue is we usually do rounds and I feel like it sounds rude saying can we not do rounds 😂 any amazing tips to execute this?

(pregnancy is very early so we don’t feel ready telling people just yet)

Be “on antibiotics” or if you drive be the designated driver

The old on antibiotics excuse/dieting/squiffy tum?

I went on holiday with my in-laws when I was 4 weeks. I just ordered drinks as usual, pretended to drink them and then my partner would finish them so he was having double haha. Neither of them noticed and were very surprised when we told them after our first scan at 8 weeks!

Either the antibiotics line or you get coke when it's your round and say it's rum and coke or whatever. Then when it's their round you say you're going slow and not ready for another drink. Maybe claim you had a drink with lunch or a big night the night before so you're taking it easy.

Antibiotics just screams I’m pregnant!

I would say to pretend but not sure how to manage that in rounds

I think to some extent you need to resign yourself to the fact that a woman in a serious relationship, of an age where she might have children, who usually drinks but then one night doesn’t, is probably going to be suspected of being pregnant. And just hope that your friends are polite enough to outwardly accept whatever excuse you give. Even if they don’t think “she’s definitely pregnant”, the possibility will probably cross their mind. Pretending to drink is probably the only thing that won’t lead to anyone thinking it, but it’s hard to pull off.

Antibiotics is a common one, but for that reason it’s sort of obvious. I was once actually taking antibiotics (the kind you really cannot drink on), but people thought I was pregnant anyway. The worst part was I was taking the antibiotics for an infection I’d got following a miscarriage.

Don't mention antibiotics.

Just say you're on tablets from the doctor and leave it at that.

You can’t face alcohol after an unexpectedly heavy work event last night

Say anything you like to the men. The women will know.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Similar to what @CheesePlant5suggested, I really don't think people pay much attention to what you're drinking throughout the night.

I'd order an alcoholic drink and a water, pretend to sip etc but my dh would actually drink it instead. Did this on multiple nights out and nobody noticed. After 2 'drinks' I'd then casually say in switching to soft drinks as I'm up early or something like that

Antibiotics is universal code that you're pregnant. Agree with PP that the women will know whether you want them to or not. If it's just you and another couple presumably you're pretty close? I'd just say you've had a positive test but it's very early and leave it at that.

Why are we so worried about telling people? We need to normalise talking about pregnancy loss imo. Just tell the truth.

I wasn’t worried about pregnancy loss

We just wanted to keep the news between US for a few weeks

I’m not sure that’s totally fair. I didn’t want to talk about my miscarriage - not because I was embarrassed, or thought it was a shameful secret or anything like that. But because it was my private medical info that was also upsetting.
If someone wants to talk about their pregnancy early then that’s fine. But I don’t think people should have to if they don’t want to.

Won’t it be harder to avoid the wine at dinner? I’d probably go with having to get up ridiculously early the next day and a long drive.

metronidazole
if you are taking this then you're off the drink (common abx , used for dental )

Just don't mention anything. The more you try to find an excuse for not drinking the less convincing you will be. They will notice, they will probably guess. They might ask but probably will be polite enough not to.

Honestly it's just poiness doing the whole antibiotics/driving/feeling ill rigmarole. It's never convincing and just draws more attention.

I went for the simplest option of don't bring it up but don't lie either. So if asked directly just said "I'm pregnant but it's early days so anything could happen". Shuts down any further questions with no fuss.

Everyone knows antibiotics is code for pregnant, besides you can drink on most anyway.

I would go with a bout of cystitis and you don’t want to irritate your bladder even further. Just try remember to go to the toilet a few more times than normal (which you might anyway 🤣)

I hate this culture of people being suspicious when someone doesn’t want to drink alcohol.

I think you’re not meant to drink on the medication for a fungal nail infection, you could use that excuse as a course is for around 3 months.

Tooth abscess, you’re extremely hungover and don’t want to drink, or you’re driving.

Only happens when the person always drinks when out

I can’t remember feeling stressed about not drinking because I very regularly used to go out and not drinking 🤷‍♀️

Just pretend to drink. I’ve done it before. Found a plant pot and the drink went away haha!

Hayfever tablets? I know you mostly can drink with them but I personally have terrible headache if I mix Allevia and alcohol.

You could try saying today that you aren’t feeling very well, migraine maybe. Then in the morning say you still feel ok to go but might be feeling a bit delicate.

If you normally drink alcohol they will 100% guess as soon as they see/find out you’re not drinking. Sorry!