DH thinks I am laying it on thick when I say I am tired at 37 weeks- help!

[Minkus]

DH isn't being mean or spiteful I just don't think he believes me when I say I am tired about this time every night. ("But it's only at the start women are supposed to feel tired" "You weren't knackered all the time when pg with ds")

In fact, why AM I tired? DS goes to nursery at least 3x per week and I'm just at home doing housework and trying to get things ready for the baby, I drop off/pick up ds from nursery which is a 30 mile round trip each time and do bedtime/cook dinner and clear up etc but that's not exactly a big chunk out of my day!

Is it normal to feel so tired and ready for sleep? Or is DH right and I'm just a bit of a whingepot?

Your dh is either very brave, or very stupid...
Being pregnant is exhausting. Looking after a toddler whilst being pregnant is exhausting.

I sleep for 2 hours every day when my 15 month old has a nap. If I dont, I am dead by 7pm! dh encourages me to nap in the day, as my mood is foul at night if I dont!

I have often wished for a magic laser beam which could transfer my exhaustion to DH - not because he's an arse, in fact most of the time he's lovely. But just because it's so difficult to explain just how tired I get in pregnancy. "Tired" just doesn't go anywhere near explaining it, does it?

The only (anywhere-near) decent explanation that I have is from Dr Sears. He explains that you metabolism increases so much in pregnancy, to grow and sustain another human being, that it's like climbing a mountain even when you're sitting down. And if you're doing something then you're doing it and climbing the mountain.

i had 2 pg when i worked up until days before i was due, absolutely sailed through.

the other 2 i slept and slept and slept and slept.

last pg i couldnt get to kids bedrooms because i couldnt make it up 2 flights of stairs. i pushed myself to stay up til 9 but didnt always manage it. i went to sleep sitting up in a chair while people were talking to me several times.

the only other time i have ever been as tired was when i had glandular fever, but even that wasnt as bad because i didnt have the spd, all day sickness etc etc.

its normal to feel absolutely awful when pg. its also normal for you to have wildly different symptoms with different pg. dont assume that having one good or bad pg means all the rest you have will be like that!

hope you got your cup of tea & sympathy minkus

Pregnancy tiredness is unlike any other type of tiredness. I remember ds being a newborn and feeding at least every 2 hours if not more throughout the night. A pregnant friend said how tired she was and then apologised as "obviously" I was more tired. I remember completely disagreeing with her - having sleepless nights with a newborn is so much easier!

Its such an odd feeling - like you cant move your limbs, that you could curl up and go to sleep anywhere, mind completly blank, mind numbing tiredness. Sleep does nothing for it. And then you throw in a toddler who seems to have stolen every ounce of the energy you once have and no wonder we dont want to get out of bed in the mornings!

Seriously though - it must be very hard to realise just how tired you do get if you have never been pregnant (male or female) as its unlike anything you can ever experience. Not that I am condoning not understanding in the slightest - they should take your word for it that you are tired! At the moment (29 weeks) there is no activity in the world I would rather do than lie in bed.

I personally found the only thing that worked was tears - after a few mornings of me waking up and sobbing because I had to get out of bed in the morning DH started to understand...

I agree waitingtobloom.

I also cope better with sleepless nights and a new born, simply because I am no longer pregnant by then!

I made the mistake of having an afternoon nap yesterday for two hours. Woke up feeling dreadful, aching all over it was painful. Just about coped with everything until the girls were in bed by 8pm. But of course I couldn't sleep then last night, and am now shattered again today.

Belgo - Ive been feeling like that with regards to napping - if i did sleep in the day I couldnt at night and felt awful afterwards. Now if i nap I can go to bed at my normal time but its taken til 29 weeks. I also found that napping on the sofa rather than the bed made me feel a bit less crap afterwards - perhaps you dont sleep as deeply or something?

Im convinced that there are two needs in pregnancy - for extra sleep and just to lie down and not do anything. Until now I think Ive needed the just lie down bit - which is why I then couldnt sleep at night but now I need both lol.

Minkus - Also had another thought - even if you were "laying it on thick" - which I fully realise you are not by the way! - who cares. You are about to have to give birth and should be resting and conserving your energy. You will then (and most probably it will be you more) be up in the night, spending long days with baby etc - so you not only need to rest but also deserve to have this rest now!!!

At 37 weeks pregnant with my second I couldn't even contend with the 10 minute walk to school and back (up a slow but steady hill) so was driving. your lung capacity is reduced, there is strain on all your joints, your softened ligaments make you feel like you could snap in two and you have a toddler to run around after and a house to look after....of course you are tired!

Get him one of these and see how well he copes