When you’re ready for another but your partner isnt yet? Anyone who else?

[strongmamaxo]

I respect his choice and I don’t bring it up much now as he’s not ready. It’s not off the cards but he said in about a year or so. we have 2 already In school. It’s kinda sad when you aren’t on the same page and you feel ready. I am happy to wait obviously but wondered if anyone else was thinking this? Xxx

If he definitly does want a third in a year, You could get baby preparations all done, pram, car seat and if baby is getting their own room, you can set everything up in there. so in a year all you need to do is get baby making.

How old are your 2 children? I'd warn against big age gaps. Or you'll be tempted by a 4th!

3 and 6. What’s your thoughts on this? X

Is it also he's worried about things like not being able to have a normal car, or how it will affect your/his long term career choices, with childcare etc? A lot of people on here say that costs rise quite steeply because lots of things are costed for families of no more than 4, and more than 2 is when you can't get them all in the car etc, and when you're outnumbered. Also, some people are very anti having 3, feeling one with be left out. Might not be any of these, but you're asking opinions, so I would say just ask him, some people are keen to have lots of kids but then realise how things can be harder.

Ok so minimum gap would be 5 and 8, based on waiting a year and then pregnancy.

That is pretty much the gap we have. Our daughters were 4y9m and 7y11m when our son was born. For us it's worked well as our eldest is not as mature as her peers. But it is still a challenge keeping everyone happy at times. I'd definitely not recommend a bigger age gap than this. Our eldest starts high school this year, as our youngest starts pre-school!

Do you think your DH's delay is reluctance? What difference will a year make? You just move even further away from the baby years so less likely to want to go back to those days. Our delay was due to needing IVF during COVID. We wouldn't have chosen the big gap.

@Hotdoughnuti took a photo of my sisters baby when he was round and I sent it to my partner saying “can’t we just have one now?” It was obviously banter. And he put “awww, soon babes”

like what’s even soon?!!!! I asked him and he said “I don’t know, just soon”? What’s classed as soon

Wouldn't it be best to wait until she is pregnant to do that?

OP is it smart to want a baby when you say you have severe enough mental health issues to need PIP? Might be best to concentrate on your present children.