Tips for managing anxiety in pregnancy after a previous miscarriage

[Namechangedforthis60]

Hi all,
I had a mmc in Jan which was a difficult experience for various reasons (not just the obvious!)
I found out I am pregnant again last week at 9dpo and am doing my own head in with stressing! Every cramp or twinge I’m overthinking, every time I go to the toilet I’m inspecting the tissue for signs of bleeding, over analysing everything. This is not my first pregnancy so I should be more chill about the symptoms but I just can’t shut my brain up!
I know that worrying isn’t going to change the outcome and that there is nothing I can do to prevent a miscarriage. Just looking for tips on how to navigate a pregnancy after loss really!

It's hard.
Get a referral to the EPU for a reassurance scan.
See your GP
Try to book early with the midwives
Go about your days and be kind to yourself
Every night you go to bed and all is well you will be another day closer.
It's a long 9 months
12 week scan
20 week scan
Kicking helps

The angst ends when a pink screaming baby is put in your arms. Mines's nearly 28.

Good luck and best wishes x

I feel for you OP. I had DD1 with no complications and no real experience of pregnancy issues. Then had two mmcs in a short space of time, neither of which were uncomplicated and took a while to be dealt with. When I fell pregnant with DD2 the following year I was a mess with anxiety.

I took baby aspirin from day one as I'd read it could maybe help and that there was no harm in trying. I booked a private scan for seven weeks so that I wasn't waiting on my 12 week scan but also so that a heartbeat was likely to be seen if all was going well. At my booking appointment I was really upfront with my midwife about my fears and anxieties. She was really kind and supportive throughout the pregnancy.

I also obsessively checked this website each day:

https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

It helped me rationalise the odds of miscarriage Vs pregnancy. It shows how your chances of miscarriage reduced each day and how your odds of a successful pregnancy increase.

One day at a time. It's hard and to be honest I struggled with it right up until DD2 was born but the anxiety reduced as the pregnancy progressed. My friend who has also had miscarriages and failed IVF used to tell me "you're pregnant today. Deal with tomorrow tomorrow" which helped when I was spiralling.

🤍
Im currently in my second trimester after a MMC

I read some advice that said to get through pregnancy after loss you just have to assume everything is going to be okay until it isn’t. I try and tell myself that when the negative thoughts start creeping in.

If you can afford to, private scans to “break up” the wait in between NHS scans (eg weeks 9 and 16) I found helpful as something to plan towards instead of waiting around for 8 weeks with the unknown.

Finally I’ve come to learn pretty much everyone who is pregnant worries - miscarriage or not so we just need to (try!) and ride the wave like everyone else

Wishing you lots of luck xxxxx

It’s quite natural to be worried I think.
I did stuff like wear only black knickers because I couldn’t bear to see any blood! Bonkers behaviour!

Id be very careful with things like taking baby asprin, only do this after consulting with a medical professional, for me it did do harm.

Im not sure that you will be able to register with a midwife early, they are so so busy, they will have protocol for registering women, might not have capacity to take you on early, not least because there isn’t anything they can offer. You could ask though.

I got in bed each night and thought to myself, another day and all is well.
Each day is a bonus.
Do whatever you have to do to get through.

thank you for your messages.
everything seemed to be going well until this morning when I have had some bleeding so I’m presuming this unfortunately will be another loss. Im absolutely devastated.

I'm so sorry >>hug<<.