Page 2 | Having my mother in law stay post partum

pisces5891 · 2026-04-13T13:29:26+00:00

Hello! I'm 32 weeks pregnant, and for various reasons i might end up having a csection, although it's still up in the air. My MIL, who i love, has offered to come stay with us post partum to help out, cook, clean, etc. My husband loves the idea. I would love the help, I'm just a bit scared of the hormone changes. From what I've read, lots of women experience a real crash in the days after birth.. im not sure it would be good having my MIL around in that situation. She's great but can be sensitive, i don't think she'd take too well if i was grumpy or off with her. My mom can't come as she's very ill. This is my first baby and I'm quite scared of all the unknowns! Having someone around whose been through it might be comforting. Does anyone have any advice on this? And would your advice be different if i had a csection vs vaginal birth? Thank you! X

Pashazade · 14/04/2026 20:47

My MIL was around for this period and in the run up on and off. She accepted I might get grumpy and we both got a bit snappy at times, but she understood and certainly neither of us held any grudge for frazzled words.

Kingpingpong · 14/04/2026 21:03

I think it depends entirely on your own personality and your relationship with your MIL.

I am lucky to have a lovely mum and MIL. But I cannot think of anything worse than having either of them staying in my home after my three children were born!

I know we are all different, though. A colleague of mine had her first baby at a similar time to me, and her mum moved in with her for several weeks to help out. I remember her repeatedly insinuating my mum was horribly selfish to not have done the same. It hadn’t occurred to her that there’s no way she would have been allowed.

sorchanim · 15/04/2026 12:38

After baby no.1, we had no help. We live abroad and spent weeks in a "bubble" before we had any visitors. It was beautiful, but it was lonely and busy! I was breastfeeding and struggling with low milk supply in the beginning, and there was pumping and sterilising and constant feeding and crying and I was very glad to just navigate that on my own with my partner (who was amazing and did all the cooking and cleaning etc). When people did visit, I really appreciated the company and any food they brought!

Baby no. 2 is now two weeks old and this time, my mum came to stay with us. It has been like night and day! She cooked and cleaned, looked after one child so we could be with the other, did mountains of laundry, and went to bed early so that we could have the evening to ourselves.

I didn't have a big crash either time, I'm just an emotional person as it is so I randomly get teary anyway! I didn't find day 3-5 any harder/easier.

My MIL did visit on day 3 this time around which in hindsight I might have avoided. Baby no.2 was crying a lot and the midwife was here helping with feeding, I was feeling a little bit weak (probably the only symptom I had that anything was different that day), and she has the social skills of a potato so she asked if I was okay and I just told her I wasn't 😛. She didn't breastfeed so although she has been a new mum two times, I don't know if she really understands what it's like to be leaking from your boobs and your bits at the same time! My mum was wayyy more useful than I thought she'd be and it made a huge difference this time around. We are actually enjoying post partum this time! Both were vaginal deliveries so I'm sure the help will be even more valuable after a c-section. Good luck!

BudgetBuster · 15/04/2026 12:43

sorchanim · 15/04/2026 12:38

After baby no.1, we had no help. We live abroad and spent weeks in a "bubble" before we had any visitors. It was beautiful, but it was lonely and busy! I was breastfeeding and struggling with low milk supply in the beginning, and there was pumping and sterilising and constant feeding and crying and I was very glad to just navigate that on my own with my partner (who was amazing and did all the cooking and cleaning etc). When people did visit, I really appreciated the company and any food they brought!

Baby no. 2 is now two weeks old and this time, my mum came to stay with us. It has been like night and day! She cooked and cleaned, looked after one child so we could be with the other, did mountains of laundry, and went to bed early so that we could have the evening to ourselves.

I didn't have a big crash either time, I'm just an emotional person as it is so I randomly get teary anyway! I didn't find day 3-5 any harder/easier.

My MIL did visit on day 3 this time around which in hindsight I might have avoided. Baby no.2 was crying a lot and the midwife was here helping with feeding, I was feeling a little bit weak (probably the only symptom I had that anything was different that day), and she has the social skills of a potato so she asked if I was okay and I just told her I wasn't 😛. She didn't breastfeed so although she has been a new mum two times, I don't know if she really understands what it's like to be leaking from your boobs and your bits at the same time! My mum was wayyy more useful than I thought she'd be and it made a huge difference this time around. We are actually enjoying post partum this time! Both were vaginal deliveries so I'm sure the help will be even more valuable after a c-section. Good luck!

leaking from your boobs and your bits at the same time

Sorry, this made me actually LOL 😂 A very accurate description of early motherhood

Original poster

pisces5891 · 17/04/2026 10:56

Love all these posts, thank you!

OP posts:

FTMaz · 18/04/2026 00:40

if you’re close to her like your own mother this is a great idea if not then not so much. Just be mindful you will be sore, probably bleeding, etc. if you’re okay with her seeing everything then it’s a lovely thing for her to do. My MIL is vile so I couldn’t have thought of anything worse 😂