Last month I was on antibiotics, and the day my period was due I had a niggling feeling I should take a test to be sure I wasn't pregnant so I could have my Friday glass of wine. I just felt my cycle had maybe gotten accidentally extended, maybe I ovulated later than usual. We weren't trying (but clearly also not being careful enough). Easy@home strip was stark white, so opening the bottle!
Then on Saturday I had dark brown spotting, so I was sure my period was on its way. Did not test.
On Sunday, I still only had the brown spotting - and it was not progressing into a period. Unusual. I spontaneously did another test at lunch time, and had the shock of my life when after 5 minutes a faint positive showed up. I had put it in a drawer and almost forgotten to check it. Immediately did the first response test I had in the bottom of my drawer too. Very positive (see photo). Although we already have two kids, we also have severe male factor infertility issues - so while unexpected this was not totally unwelcome.
Spent all of Sunday panicking about it. Stores in my corner of the countryside were closed for Easter, so nothing to do but wait till Monday to buy more tests. Got some clear blue ones, the only option Boots had. Immediately did one in the afternoon, and the faintest line turned up. Much less than on the easy@home and first response - but I put that down to it being a different brand and different time of day. Spent the day getting my head around being pregnant and making a list of positives. Got to the point where I thought: ok this is cool, I can do it. Still cramping and spotting, also sore boobs and very bad acne.
Tested with another easy@home on Tuesday, wanting to give the clear blue 48 hours. The line was super faint, way fainter than the one on Sunday (not sure you can even see it in the photo). Did another amazon cheapy I had lying around for good measure: negative. Thought it might be because I didn't use FMU and moved on with my day. Called GP to make an appointment (which is possible this early where I live). Cramping and spotting stopped, and nausea started. I hadn't been nauseous this early on the last two times, but it was proper pregnancy nausea, can't describe it otherwise. Boobs less sore though.
Wednesday morning, I did another Amazon cheapy... negative. Then did the clear blue. Also negative. Had a bit of a panic. I just spent 2 days convincing myself I was happy about this. Surely the negatives were just because it was super early on? My cycles are only 26 days, so I was at 4 weeks exactly; very early to be testing altogether. I had my GP appointment - test there also negative, so she took a blood sample. She could genuinely not say whether it was early loss or too early for tests to pick it up properly. I was still very nauseous, could not eat lunch or much of dinner that day, just ate some crisps.
Thursday at 7am I used the most concentrated FMU possible to do another easy@home test (no other tests left in the house). Stark white. Had some minor spotting and cramps again and no sore boobs - but still extremely nauseous. Started to try to come to terms with the fact that this wasn't working out and felt indescribably sad. It was not planned and I felt overwhelmed, but I had been thinking about the mid-December due date, how to navigate around work commitments. I was just at the stage where I was getting excited about it - and then the whole dream was being taken away again...?
Started to bleed half-way through Thursday morning, taking away any last shred of hope. I've found people's reactions a little challenging to deal with; my husband seemed mostly indifferent and didn't really want to talk about it; my sister was straight up relieved as she didn't think I could handle it anyway. I guess it underlined for me that I had been more keen on it than I even realised. I wanted everyone to feel the loss as much as me, and mourn it. But no one did.
Friday morning GP called to confirm HCG of only 9 (below 5 = not pregnant, over 25 = pregnant). I am glad I did the blood test, even if it already seemed a bit pointless on Wednesday, because it provided some clarity and closure. Started to bleed very heavily (not in a scary way, but definitely more than my usual period). Unfairly, I was also still nauseous. No more sore boobs or bad skin though - but obviously horrible cramps. Took ibuprofen.
So, I was pregnant for maybe 72 hours. That's it. I thought I would write this story down here for anyone experiencing the same and wandering the internet looking for answers.