Friend having baby - what shall I do?

[Ozziegirly]

Hello, this is my first post here, so hi..

Anyway, a friend of mine, (not a really close friend but we get on well) is having her first baby at the end of the month.

So, I was wondering what would be a nice gift to get when the baby arrives, or if there is anything else I can do which she would appreciate, without getting in the way.

I've already said she can call at any time, but I was hoping to do something to make the first few weeks easier without imposing, IYSWIM.

Any suggestions would be gratefully received.

offer to do her hoovering/walk her dog/ weeding, take her for lunch/ pedicure/ cinema etc

my friend took me to the bingo which I was a bit about but it was hysterical and she ended up more worried I was going to go into labour laughing so hard than anything else! haven't been back ever but it was great fun at the time

she should be getting pampered while its all still about her because once baby comes it will be all about baby lol

and welcome to MN btw

Bring around some food (homemade or not) that she can chuck in the freezer. Also a cake or pie!

Whenever you go over, make the tea and tidy a little bit. Always ask if she wants to go for a sleep.

Also remember - weeks 6 & 7 are the worst - you are REALLY tired by then but offers of help have often dried up. Make an effort to helpp her at that time.

Then can you be my friend?

Excellent, thank you - I love cooking so I'll make some nice things for them and have asked if she fancies lunch this weekend, maybe I will surprise her with a pedicure as well.

I'm really excited for her, it's a very much longed for baby. I keep having to restrain myself from buying unbearably cute baby things.

Definatley food. You can always tell who's had a baby and who hasn't a theme times. Those who haven't bring flowers (pretty but just another job to do with getting them in a vase and watering), and those who have bring food.

Yes, definitely food, lots of cakes and snacks, esp if she's breastfeeding. Offer to do the shopping, or take baby for a walk while she has a rest/shower/goes to the loo etc.

Another vote for food! The best present I received was a huge fruit cake, I could eat it when I didn't have time for a meal!

When people brought flowers, beautiful though they were, I just wanted to cry, as it meant that I had to find a vase, put them in water and look after them!

BTW, for visitors I left out the teapot, tea, coffee sugar, mugs and kettle and told them to help themselves, there is nothing worse than visitors holding and cooing over your baby while you have to WAIT on THEM!!!

Get her a pedicure before she goes in to have the baby - friend of mine got me to do her feet for her 2,3 & 4th child as with her first she remembered labouring whilst looking at chipped manky toemails.

Yep ditto the food. Neals Yard also has a nice arnica and seaweed bubble bath that I found quite soothing - someone bought it for me after DS and now I always buy a bottle for good friends along with gifts for the baby as something to pamper them.
Also if you get a chance then washing up/ stacking the dishwasher or even just clearing up cups after having a cup of tea was always appreciated here

Time is so much more important than anything you can buy.

Hot food, housework or errands are SUCH a help. Much more so than a babygro or bath salts!

squiffyhock - Plese don't tell me weeks 6 and 7 are the worst. DS is 5 weeks old...

What a lovely friend you are. I second the tidying up bit-all the advice is to focus on the baby and let the housework go to hell, but I found that dirty floors and piles of laundry really got in the way of relaxing...Also, if she has a baby who won't be put down then offering to hold it for an hour or so while she does her thing is likely to be appreciated.

I agree about the flowers too! I remember crying when seeing them all - and also bursting into tears when I had a watering accident - those blardy arrangements can be hard to look after! Glad it's not just me - I felt an ungrateful cow at the time ;)

Oh, yes... someone to mind the baby while you have a relaxing bath....

Bliss!

You can definitely be my friend as well if you want

I second what everyone says - do a little hoovering or cleaning for her if she wants and make her some lovely food.

Neals Yard is good for stuff but on the Zita West website (www.zitawest.com) she has lots of lovely products and she has a new mum rescue kit which is a lavendar bath oil, comfort down under cream (to help heal your fanjo) and a candle. I had that last time I gave birth and I've got it again for this time, the cream is amazing - it really healed my stitches up in no time!

Speaking of stitches, I wish someone (or myself) had got me one of those rubber rings to sit on. Do you know what I mean?
The pressure of sitting down and then standing up again was awful!

I saw a lovely suggestion on here of one of those thermos cups to keep her tea/coffee warm for longer as she'll never have time to drink a whole cup before it goes cold!

No friends have had babies since I saw the suggestion, but I'm remembering it to use later!

You are so sweet Ozziegirlie. I would love someone to offer to walk my dogs as a present. Baby clothes are usually a bad idea as everyone buys those. If you want to be really practical;-everyone needs nappies but don't waste your money on a nappy cake thing

My best presents were homemade carrot cake - when I was still in hospital - it had gone before I left!
Bolg sauce was nice to get too because dh and i didn't get much beyond fishfingers for a few weeks.
After a couple of weeks offers to take the baby out for a walk were gratefully received.

youcannotbeserious sorry!!! I just always found that was when tiredness really kicked in. With DD I even bought 'The contented Little Baby Book', I was so desperate for her to sleep through!! I couldn't follow it though and by 9 weeks she was doing 12 hours every night.

Didn't mean to scare you

I know you said that you can cook but this is a great gift if you can't!! Some good ideas for stuff that freezes well anyway.

I know you said that you can cook but this is a great gift if you can't!! Some good ideas for stuff that freezes well anyway.

I've always wondered how people manage to double post

Thank you so much everyone - I will make a cake and some biccies and my speciality chicken and vegetable pie, plus take the baby out for a walk if they want me to (which I would love anyway!) and steer clear of flowers!

I think she'll be quite looked after anyway as her husband is lovely and so keen on being a father, but nice to be able to help with practical things.