Giving birth after 3b tear

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Hello!

I would love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation.

My first birth (2020) resulted in a 3b tear. Baby was back to back (only discovered after pushing for about two and a half hours), and I needed an episiotomy and forceps. Baby was large (10lb 1oz) and had a big head (38cm circumference). Since then I have had ongoing wind incontinence, and during investigations had an endo-anal scan which showed there is some scar tissue where it was repaired. Two specialists advised me to have a c-section for any subsequent births.

Fast forward to now, and I am due baby number 2 in a few months.

I have had one meeting with a consultant to discuss birthing options. I thought they would advise me to have a c-section too, but they basically said it's up to me to decide. While I know ultimately it is my decision, I think the lack of confirmation from them that the c-section is the right thing to do has made me doubt it. The closer it gets, the idea of major surgery seems less and less appealing - but I obviously do not want another tear, either!

Typing this all out I feel like a c-section is the best option, and I know the only real way to know the right choice is to have a crystal ball. But lacking this I wondered if anyone had been in a similar situation (ie tear in first birth with a big baby and some ongoing issues) and what you decided for your subsequent birth(s) and how it went?

I have been offered a growth scan at 32 weeks but I know they're not hugely accurate, so I am not sure how helpful this will be.

Poor you OP! Big sympathy

I had a 3b year with number 1 baby (largest of my lot of 7lb 13).

I was immediately offered a ceasarean for my subsequent babies and was encouraged down this route.

Best wishes.

I've had a close family member have the same experience, they opted for the c section.
It it was me I'd probably go for the c section too, I wouldn't want to risk further incontinence issues, if it happened again, that could severely impact your quality of life.

I had 1st degree with 1st, 2nd degree with 2nd, 3rd degree with third. Whenbi was pregnant with 4th I thought about c section but consultant said they didnt think it necessary unless I really wanted one

Had a natural birth and didnt even graze!

I had a 3b tear with number 1, with number 2 I had a section and it was lovely! Id recommend it to anyone who had a bad tear the first time! It was so relaxing and pain free and the recovery was so much less intense and less time that my natural. I was up and about within 12 hours and by day 4 I was dog walking with my eldest on a buggy board newborn in pram and 42kg dog! I could of drove straight away but waited the full six weeks (I believe that’s less too now)

I was told I had a 3rd degree tear but was given no further guidance beyond one post birth check up where I was told that it was fine so had a second birth 3 yrs afterwards. I was quite concerned about the tear and gave birth on all fours because the pressure felt too great but it was a much more straightforward birth and I only had a tiny tear to the side second time around.

I had a 3b tear with a tear to side aswell plus episiotomy. Ds was back to back so it was forceps in theatre. It wasn't a great recovery. Took a long time to heal. I saw a gynaecologist about 9 months post birth who advised on a c section for the next baby. Ds was quite big. 7lb 10oz which I know is 'normal' weight but I'm only 5ft and he had a big head. That's a male thing on dh side of the family. I didn't go on to have another baby but I would be having a c section without a doubt.

I had a 3b tear with DC1. I was offered a planned section for DC2 but decided against it and gave birth vaginally again with just minor grazes.
I think there was quite a few things in my first labour that contributed to the tear happening that I felt I could do differently to reduce the chances of a similar tear, and luckily it all worked out.