Selective reduction from twins to singleton in UK

[ConfusedPigeon2026]

I really don't know how else to feel right now. I recently found out I'm pregnant with twins (6 weeks, already have a 2yr old toddler) and am really struggling with the overwhelming gravity of this. I am waking up depressed, spending the day avoiding anything about the pregnancy and withdrawn, going to sleep full of anxiety. I desperately wanted another child but did not anticipate having 2..

I wondered if anyone knew if selective reduction was still an option in the UK? Not due to medical reasons for the fetuses but for the mothers health. I really don't know if I can have 2 more children and am looking at options whilst we navigate this unknown territory. They are DCDA twins (separate sacs and placentas). I read that maybe Prof Kypros Nicolaides at the Fetal Medicine Centre in London might offer this.. does anyone have any experience or knowledge that could help?

Thank you so much for reading. I'm really hoping to hear informative replies, not judgement please as this is a really difficult time.

A friend of mine did this and later told the child. Child is happy now but does say they miss and have the ache as pp said for their sibling.

I think you’re probably in shock at the minute, what does your partner think?

I think the psychological and emotional impact of terminating one baby but having the other would be huge and potentially lifelong for the surviving twin 😕

You have time to consider it and work out what is best because I don’t think this can be done until second trimester. I’d focus on things like can you afford to support them / do you have family support nearby / how close is your little one to turning 3 (as you may not have to have all 3 in nursery if they’ll be 3 soon) and most of all did you have a difficult journey getting pregnant? Loss is traumatic and it depends how you think you will be able to cope mentally with the loss of one or both babies

I am a surviving twin (my twin died at 7 months). The effect of survivors guilt is profound.

@ConfusedPigeon2026 I speak as someone who lost my twin son after they were born. I already had a 2 year old. Like you I had worried about how I would cope. All I can say to you is that the devastation was worse than any challenges would have been in bringing up all three children. The daily reminder of having his surviving twin was heartbreaking and lasted for years.
Whatever you decide, I hope you can find peace with it. Often the thought of something is harder than the reality.

No judgement but like others have said, I wonder if it might be psychologically an easier burden to bear (for you and the surviving twin) if you aborted both and try again later.

The surviving twin would literally never need to know, so ignore people who talk about the effect on the surviving twin.

Ive had an abortion and a tfmr and my children will never know about them.

Would this be the case when the termination happens when the baby is in utero? I can see my medical records on my NHS app from the day I was born so I suppose it depends if prenatal records are included in this?

I think I’d struggle to choose which twin’s heart to put the needle of the lethal drugs into. I mean - is it literally ‘eeny meemy miny mo’. ?
That level of playing God over which foetus got to live and which got to die would personally feel uncomfortable for me.
No judgement though. If you felt you’d be ok with that then that’s all that matters.

I would have to terminate both or keep both. How would you explain this to the surviving twin?

I have twins and although it was hard work it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t has a toddler though so I know that makes it harder.

You will spend the rest of your life looking at your child and thinking “there should be two”. Don’t do it.

You can’t choose in elective reductions, in most cases they choose the foetus closest to the cervix but I’m not an expert and there are other circumstances. The important element is that the parent/s don’t “choose”.

No it would not be on the surviving twin’s records - it is the mother’s medical information, not the baby’s.

You don’t choose the doctor does at my consult I was told they choose the one nearest the cervix

Hello. I am late to this conversation. Please can I share that I had selective reduction with Dr Basky. Sadly at 20 weeks I began to bleed heavily and at 22 weeks my waters broke. I had to have a termination at 23 weeks again with Dr Basky of the surviving twin as his brain and lungs had been severely damaged by the water loss. We were told to expect a compromised life: lung disease, brain damage etc. I then delivered my 23 weeks of the old son stillborn. It is a horror story. I was not well mentally when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I had already a 1.5 year old. Post natal depression, no family support and a cheating husband. No savings. In spite of this, the experience after the SR were so traumatic that I have never recovered and I am haunted by these memories and what ifs each day. My advice is either terminate both or accept twins. You must have made a choice by now and I wish you the best.

I am so very sorry for your loss, @MammaD1

I wasnt aware that selective reduction was possible as ive never heard of it. Im sorry you're
going through this awful dilemma but I would worry about risks to the surviving twin. I think you need to think this through and speak to the professionals. Best of luck.