Pregnancy and new relationship

[watermelonsugarx]

I’ve been with my boyfriend 3 months, I’m 34, he’s 36 and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant. I’m having a bit of a panic as this was obviously unplanned, I’ve taken the pill religiously although I did take period delay tablets last month and I’m wondering if that’s interfered somehow. Anyway, I’ve not been taking folic acid, I’ve drunk alcohol and probably too much caffeine the last few weeks when I didn’t know and I’m on meds that I’m worried will have caused issues. I also have no idea where to start telling my boyfriend. I’m not even sure why I’m writing this, I guess I just needed to type it out to process my thoughts.

That is so hard. I think first you need to really think about what you want to do. It would be better to tell your boyfriend if you at least have some idea of that. And don't worry about the alcohol/caffeine (very common!), just stop for now until you decide what to do.

Obviously drinking in the early days is not ideal, but most women who don’t know they’re pregnant have a couple of drinks before they find out. As long as you’re not a heavy drinker you will probably be fine, so that’s one less thing to stress about.

Whatever you do is totally down to you and what you want. Have a chat with your BF and go from there.

I don’t want to have a termination, I know that much. I just don’t even know how to bring it up with my boyfriend. I know he wants to settle down and have children as we talked about it early on but I appreciate 3 months is sooo early.

If he wasn’t using condoms in such a new relationship he must know it’s a possibility. I’d just tell him “I’m pregnant”. Start folic today and the other lifestyle changes. Best of luck.

Yeah very early but life happens. You will just need to tell him
Ive found out I am pregnant. I plan on keeping the baby.

Given you want a baby, I just want to say Congratulations 🎉
Sounds like a complicated situation but I am sure you will work it out, plenty of women do.

Solidarity on the caffeine/alcohol/meds worries. My pregnancy was also a surprise and was smoking a bit of weed and not taking any folic acid till 6 weeks, and am on long term anti-epileptic meds. Can’t change it now though, only hope for the best.

Just wanted to say I was in a very similar situation….. so found out 3 months in I was pregnant we were also both 21 🙄 I’d been drinking (far too much) caffeine not taking folic acid….
We are now 10 years down the line, our little boy was perfectly fine, we have also gone on to buy a house together and have a further 2 children.

sometimes these things work out 😆

I got pregnant with our first when (now) DH and I had not been together very long -- a bit longer than you, more like 9-10 months but it was still really early. He's 13 now, we ended up getting married on his 3-month birthday and we have another two boys as well. So it can work out and you're the right sort of age and it sounds like you've had the right sort of conversation (about wanting children in theory etc). Longer term if you stay together my main advice would be to bear in mind that you just don't know each other that well at first and that you'll be embarking on parenthood without yet knowing each other that well. I don't think this is a reason not to go for it at all, people used to form partnerships this way all the time, I think it's just worth bearing in mind and being realistic about it. I think if you haven't had long together before having a baby it's maybe more important than it is for other couples to prioritise some ongoing "couple" time after the baby arrives. Good luck!