8 weeks pregnant with an emotionally abusive ex.

[Yogisunflower91]

I’m looking for some advice, help, guidance, anyone who Is experiencing similar.

i am 8 weeks pregnant and have just split with my ex who has been emotionally and verbally abusive throughout our relationship, I basically come to the end of my tether and ended things after he threatened me with police, MH health services, has called me every name under the sun and generally a risk to my wellbeing. For context I also have a child from a previous marriage (we coparent well and are very happy with our set up for our son)

I got pregnant very quickly at the time it was what I wanted and the relationship was in a “good stage” however shortly after things deteriorated I left him for what I thought was the final time and then subsequently found out I was pregnant.

He has treated me badly (not physically) through the pregnancy so far and blamed everything on my hormones and emotions saying he is scared of me and I’m terrifying to be around. We are now in no contact but he has messaged me asking if I want him at my midwife booking app.

I have been back and forth and just feel so torn about the future of my pregnancy, I feel the only way I’ll be rid of him for good is if I don’t have this baby, I don’t want him to make my life difficult when I’m even more vulnerable with a baby as well as my young child, I’m scared through the things that he’s threatened he’d try and take the baby away from me and basically make my life hell. On the other hand I don’t know if I can live with the guilt of abortion and not seeing this pregnancy through. I have a call
with BPAS next week to discuss a treatment plan.

Any support you can suggest would be amazing x

He could go for 50/50 in terms of residence. If he's that awful, I wouldn't want to be tied to him forever but neither would I want my child to be raised by him.

youre only 8 weeks pregnant. it’s early yet. if it were me i’d call it a day and not bring a child into that future with him. i’d suggest it’s the best course of action all round. but i’d do it asap so i’d not feel guilt about it being more like a baby than a tiny spec. however thats me so you may feel differently.

I say this with kindness OP but is it really worth being tied to someone like this for 18+ years? I know it would be upsetting to terminate but you have to do whats best for you. Bringing up a child with an emotionally abusive man is not going to do you any good.

I’d terminate and sever every single contact with him. I couldn’t bring a child up with that as a father, it will end up being even harder than it should be.

This is not your only chance to be a mum, please give yourself the best possible chance of a decent experience.

He is going to poison your life. I too would terminate. You will recover from the doubt & guilt. But you & your future child would go through years of misery

If it were me I would end the pregnancy and be free of this man.
He would be in your and BOTH your children's lives and if he is like this now it will escalate and you will live with that fear anging over you 365 days x18!

Sorry OP, it's easy for us to say as we are detached from the situation but I would agree with PP. You do not want to be attached to this man for the next 18 years

Thanks all for your advice ❤️

Having a baby with this man would be a huge mistake. Not just for you but for the child.