Previous ectopic warriors - how do you cope with the waiting?

[ShyLavender]

Just looking for some advice on how you deal with that time between positive test and first scan at 6 weeks. I called EPU asking for blood work as I’ve had spotting but they said they wouldn’t offer this as I’m not having pain. 15 days to go until scan

I think it's just the same as anything you have to wait for that makes you nervous?

Last year I got a very high risk screening result from the combined test at 12 weeks, and had to wait two weeks for NIPT results.
More recently a friend endured the two week wait for an appointment after suspicion of breast cancer, and then more waiting for results.

It's horrible waiting, but it's worth learning coping mechanisms as this kind of thing is going to rear it's head throughout your life and those of people you care about.
Personally I like to keep busy. If I haven't got much to do that week (job, hobbies etc) then I fabricate things - household jobs, DIY, arrange to meet friends, crochet, whatever. I have also heard people say they cope by allocating 30 minutes per day to fretting/Googling, and don't allow themselves to dwell on it the rest of the time.

Hopefully someone with more useful advice comes along soon but I couldn’t read and run as I’ve been there several times and honestly it’s very hard to get through those early weeks of limbo. Not being able to celebrate the positive test, overanalysing every twinge and generally fearing the worst is a tough mental place to be in. Be kind to yourself!

I can’t say I’ve coped brilliantly when I’ve been waiting although I do try to keep busy, look for positive stories (I’ve had three non-ectopics since my first if that helps) and treat myself to things that make me feel good and take my mind of it. I think being open and honest when the negative thoughts win out is key as well. We don’t share our pregnancies that early so it’s only DH I can offload on but do offload to whoever you have!

Wishing you all the best OP.

Hey didn’t want to read and run!
i’ve had 2 ectopics and lost both my tubes. My first i never had any pain until my tube burst at 7 weeks, second was picked up at an early scan at 5 weeks, It was horrific. Could always try and get an early scan at 5 & half weeks but equally might make anxiety worse if they don’t see anything.
I did always try to distract myself with reading and colour in the evening instead of doom scrolling!
Keep me posted! x

Hi OP, I would disagree with the idea that it’s just the same as anything you have to wait for. I had an ectopic in January last year and I know how traumatic it is during and the aftermath, especially your next positive test as it all comes flooding back.

Exactly a year on this January, I got a positive test and had the same couple of weeks of waiting for the first scan - just an update I am now 9 weeks, my last scan being on Monday (I was having investigations for recurrent miscarriages so they offered me scans at 6 and 8 weeks) and everything is looking good and as it should at the moment.

My ectopic was treated with methotrexate so I did not lose a tube, but it caused a huge amount of worry that my left in tube was scarred and that it would happen again. Between 4-6 weeks I was even having on/off aches/pains on my left side where the previous ectopic was, so I was absolutely out of my head worrying that it was going to be the same outcome. I can’t tell you how nervous I was at the 6 week scan, I was honestly shaking like a leaf and had convinced myself it was bad news.

I guess my advice to you would be, is to know that it can absolutely be a positive outcome and it is not destined to be another one. Spotting can happen (I had some this time around too - sorry TMI but I think it was from constipation!).

Try and just take every day as it comes, make some lovely plans at weekends/evenings and talk to your loved ones about your thoughts if you can. Wishing you all the best 💕

Thanks for your comments ladies I appreciate them. The agony of waiting just to hear the same words “we can’t locate the pregnancy.” You know things are bad when you are hoping for an early missed miscarriage😭

Ah this brings it all back, having had previous ectopic resulting in losing a tube, I remember the fear when we conceived again. The relief at the early scan soon faded and I spent much of the pregnancy worried something else would go wrong, it was like I was almost preparing myself mentally in case it did. It didn’t and I had a trouble free pregnancy, super quick delivery and DD is now a teenager.
I just wanted to say it can and does often all work
out ok, and good luck for coming weeks.