Would you have an abortion?

[ksjnijsnijsnjhgbsk]

I found out I’m pregnant a few weeks ago, but I’m really unhappy in my relationship. It’s not been great for a while and I was thinking about leaving before I found out I’m pregnant.

I’ve always wanted more kids, we have 1 already, but don’t see myself being with my partner for much longer as we’ve drifted apart over the years and there’s not really anything there for me anymore. We don’t really get along, when we fight it’s really bad, he makes me feel bad about myself making comments on my body (I’m really skinny) he’s unhelpful unless he wants to help, there’s allot I could say

like I said I’ve always wanted more kids but not with him, what do I do??????

I would in those circumstances @ksjnijsnijsnjhgbskand i would start making plans to move with your DC avd find somewhere where you’ll be happy and safe.

I agree that an abortion is the better option for you in these circumstances.

In those circumstances, yes

I think it wpuld be unfair to the unborn child and.make life a lot harder for you to leave.

On that basis I would strongly consider it.

I would have the abortion in your shoes and tell him nothing about it. Unless you already did

If I definitely wanted to leave I would, however leaving doesn’t guarantee you’d find a suitable partner to have kids with, it could be 10 years down the line would that still give you time? would you be content with one and not have regrets?

Yes. Unless you feel able to
solo parent a newborn and your older child, abortion is a viable and reasonable option. Don’t stay in a toxic relationship just because you’re pregnant.

I think it's tricky.
Does you current partner want more children?
You will already have to deal with him as a co-parent when you separate. Would 2 dc make that more challenging? Is he a good father? What role would you imagine him taking with dc after you separate?
What are your personal, and financial circumstances? How well placed are you to provide for one versus 2 dc as a single parent?
Can you think ahead and imagine having 2 or more dc who have different family circumstances e.g. one/ more with both parents at home , one moving between 2 homes? Would full siblings have a shared experience and perhaps benefit because they have the same extended paternal family and routines? I don't know.
I really feel for you facing this dilemma.
But I echo others in saying either option is valid and only you will know the specific circumstances you are dealing with.

I was a single parent of 2 very young children. It's a million times easier to have just 1 if you are on your own . Only 1 child to be off sick, only 1 child to pay for, only 1 child to get to 1 school, only 1 child to finance through uni. Much easier to get friends to help out with taking one child if you have a work emergency; taking 2 extra children , feeding them at teatime etc I'd much more of s commitment.

Thank you all for being honest and not judging me, I think I know what I need to do but just wanted other peoples opinions first, thank you again

I don’t think anyone who values your happiness and safety would judge you.

If he has ever shown any signs of DV i would talk to Women’s Aid about exiting the relationship safely

Yes I would have an abortion if I was in the position that you’re in. Whatever you decide, I feel sorry for you OP.

I would leave and have the baby but I am not you.

Could you afford financially and emotionally to single parent them both if you left whilst pregnant?

Im very pro choice, but in that situation I would probably go ahead if I could afford to do so, and felt confident with the idea of single parenting.

Don't tell him! I did when I was in your position and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I did learn how to spot an abuser though.

I'd end the relationship and then decide what you want to do. It's your body, your choice. Nobody will judge you and those that do are a waste of air.

Its never easy making a decision like this but being pregnant is an emotional time and I don't think it would be fair on you or the baby when your relationship is not working. Personally I would consider it if it means being tied to somebody you're not happy with. Best of luck!

You’ve already got a link to him because of the first child so if you want another child this is your chance and you can still leave him.

Depends on age and what you want in your future. Easier to meet someone else with one child in tow. If you’re older and less bothered about meeting someone but would like another child that’s a different story.

In those circumstances yes.

Yes, definitely. The bare minimum you can do for a child is to pick a decent dad.

I definitely have an abortion in this situation.

This

How old is your DC? How old are you? That would come into my decision making process tbh.

I think in your circumstances I would have an abortion and break things off. Make a fresh start.

Yes, I would. And he isn’t a good father if he’s shit to the mother of his child.