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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Forced abortion

20 replies

Boymum2256 · 18/02/2026 14:56

I don’t even know where to start I’m so confused and disappointed in myself.

I was with my boyfriend for a year I fell pregnant in September everything was fine until about 12 weeks and he started telling me it’s no good to keep the baby he then started saying about his money and his family and the situation isn’t ideal. It then went to he doesn’t want to be with me and that I’ll be on my own with 3 kids (I have 2 previous) so me being in this situation I felt pressured and I probably did let him get in my head, I thought i cant do this to myself I’m already struggling mentally and financially and if he isn’t going to be with me I won’t be able to cope. He repeatedly told me every day “we are getting rid of it end of” or that he will drive me to the surgery himself, this went on for weeks until I was 16 weeks. Under all this pressure I felt like I had no other choice I told myself it’s for the best and I’ll never have to be with him again he will be out my life. I lost my baby girl due to my waters breaking at 16+5 weeks. I broke up with him for a few weeks but stupidly took him back because I do love him so much but now I’ve been back with him a few weeks the guilt has set in for my baby and what I had to go through. Now he thinks everything is magically okay with us after I had to loose my baby ? Am I being manipulated? Was he lying about this “situation” with money and family just so I’d get an abortion? How can he go from not wanting to be with me to begging for me back once I wasn’t pregnant? I just hate myself for even speaking to him again but like they say you go back to someone again and again until
you hate them.

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 18/02/2026 14:58

Dump the boyfriend, he is a dick. And deal with you feelings about the abortion separately.

WallaceinAnderland · 18/02/2026 15:09

Dump him.

MsGreying · 18/02/2026 15:24

Sympathy.

He's not good for you.

Macadamian · 18/02/2026 15:51

I'm not sure from your post if you did get the abortion, or whether you had a miscarriage (your waters went?) and you somehow feel responsible for this?

But either way, get rid of the awful man. Then once you are free, work on dealing with any regret you feel over anything to do with your pregnancy. You can heal from this, but you can't do it with him around.

tsmainsqueeze · 18/02/2026 16:08

Don't let yourself become one of these women who take back a complete loser of a man because 'you love him', you are better than that , you deserve better than that .
He is a disgusting waste of space from what you tell us , don't let yourself be dragged in ,make the end of this shit be the beginning of something so much better.
And no the majority don't go back again and again until they hate them.

TalulahJP · 18/02/2026 19:01

hes using you.
he doesn't love you.
if he did he wouldn’t have treated you like this.

sometimes we need to walk away from partners that don’t deserve us and aren't good enough for us. even if we love them. they aren't aren’t a good match. we deserve someone to love us.

its your turn to walk away from him now.

is he dangerous? can you break up with him safely? do you have somewhere to go and family to keep you safe from him if he kicks off?

Mischance · 18/02/2026 19:10

I am sorry you have been through so much.
But it does sound as though this man really is no good for you and you need him out of your life. You really do.
I know it is very hard that you have to accept that you have made a mistake with this man but carrying this on will not help you in the long term.

Imdunfer · 18/02/2026 19:43

I think reading your post that you didn't give in to the pressure to have an abortion but lost your baby at 21 weeks and you are obvious deep in grief about that.

In a desperate, understandable, need for support in that situation you returned to s man who simply doesn't want to have children with you at this time, perhaps ever.

If you were also convinced that you'll never ever want a baby with him, you might just about be able to scrape this relationship back together.

But from what you've written, it's sounds like you could find yourself a much more supportive partner.

However this goes, I hope you end up in a good place. I'm so sorry about your little girl.

pinkdelight · 18/02/2026 19:48

He sounds awful and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. A lot has gone on and I don’t think calling it a forced abortion helps but what he did was bad enough. I think you need to focus on yourself and get support and counselling for your loss then be with your DC and not this guy who has shown who he is and he’s the last thing you need in you and your DCs’ lives.

Meadowfinch · 18/02/2026 19:51

He is a vile bullying manipulative creep who is only with you for convenience until something better comes along.

For God's sake dump him and find yourself someone decent.

Nodlikeyouwerelistening · 18/02/2026 20:14

I’m sorry you’ve gone through this. But everyone else on this post is right. He’s disgusting. Even if you think you love him (time, distance and some perspective will get rid of that feeling…) you need to love yourself more, not just for your sake but for your children’s too.

Original poster
Boymum2256 · 19/02/2026 15:39

TalulahJP · 18/02/2026 19:01

hes using you.
he doesn't love you.
if he did he wouldn’t have treated you like this.

sometimes we need to walk away from partners that don’t deserve us and aren't good enough for us. even if we love them. they aren't aren’t a good match. we deserve someone to love us.

its your turn to walk away from him now.

is he dangerous? can you break up with him safely? do you have somewhere to go and family to keep you safe from him if he kicks off?

Thank you, last time I broke up with him he harassed me for days. I think he rang my phone 80 times in 2 days turned up at my house unannounced and made up lies that he was in hospital or had been arrested and even made fake accounts and got family to message me just to try get my attention to get back with him.

I know I’m stupid for getting back with him but I kind of feel trapped as I don’t want to see that behaviour again if I break up with him

OP posts:
LadyDanburysHat · 19/02/2026 15:47

If you get that behaviour again when you break up with him, then you call the police. You do realise how crazy it sounds to stay in a relationship with someone because you know they will harass you if you leave.

pinkdelight · 19/02/2026 15:48

Boymum2256 · 19/02/2026 15:39

Thank you, last time I broke up with him he harassed me for days. I think he rang my phone 80 times in 2 days turned up at my house unannounced and made up lies that he was in hospital or had been arrested and even made fake accounts and got family to message me just to try get my attention to get back with him.

I know I’m stupid for getting back with him but I kind of feel trapped as I don’t want to see that behaviour again if I break up with him

Show quote history

You're not stupid, he's scary and manipulative. You need to report him to the police for harassment if he tries it again and use it as a reason to get help and know you're right to break with him rather than be sucked back into his abuse. Please get support IRL, official from Women's Aid etc and from family/friends, so that you feel less trapped and can find a safe way out. He needs an official restraining order by the sounds of it and you need a lot of care and strength.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 19/02/2026 15:51

This isn’t love. It’s abusive, you know that. You and your kids deserve so much better.

CaptainMyCaptain · 19/02/2026 15:54

Boymum2256 · 19/02/2026 15:39

Thank you, last time I broke up with him he harassed me for days. I think he rang my phone 80 times in 2 days turned up at my house unannounced and made up lies that he was in hospital or had been arrested and even made fake accounts and got family to message me just to try get my attention to get back with him.

I know I’m stupid for getting back with him but I kind of feel trapped as I don’t want to see that behaviour again if I break up with him

Show quote history

You should have reported that to the police. It's harassment. Get rid of him, he's making your life a misery and must be having an effect on your children.

ginasevern · 19/02/2026 16:36

How old are your children? What sort of impact is all this drama having on their lives?

TalulahJP · 19/02/2026 16:46

do you still have the messages or the call records from when you last broke up and he harassed you? if so show then to the police snd explain you want to dplit yp from him for good this time but you are scared. they should help you.

womens aid are also a good resource.

once youre away youll feel so much better. you don’t need him.

BudgetBuster · 19/02/2026 17:28

Over the last 1.5yrs @Boymum2256 you have numerous posts on different threads about being pregnant (very early in this relationship) and unfortunately having a miscarriage, how at 7 months into the relationship (which apparently you say is toxic on both sides) you had broke up and got back together numerous times, then he wanted you to have an abortion, you subsequently took abortion pills and your baby passed at 17 weeks, you cut him off and went on dates with another guy, and now you are back with him.

I say this with kindness and out of concern for you and your kids, please leave this man, block him, if he turns up at your house call the police. Get yourself into therapy and steer clear of dating, men, relationships for at least a year or two. Focus on your two existing children... who could probably do with therapy or play therapy depending on their ages too having to be in this environment.

You need to put your children first.

You do not love this man... you think you need a man. You don't. You need to prioritise yourself and your kids.

Bananalanacake · 19/02/2026 18:42

I hope he isn't living with you, it's not good for your DC to live with someone like that.

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