Really need early pregnancy advice….is this normal?

[SLworld]

I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy was very much planned and took over 6 months to conceive. I’ve had multiple miscarriages previously, and at 37 I’ve definitely felt the clock ticking for a while.

The thing is… I am absolutely hating being pregnant.

I feel constantly nauseous and exhausted. My mood is really low and I feel completely disconnected from the pregnancy. I don’t feel excited. I don’t want to plan anything. I’ve had several scans and when I look at the screen I feel… nothing. No rush of emotion, no relief, nothing.

All I can think about is how awful I feel physically. I can’t do any of my usual activities and I’ve been signed off work because I’m so unwell. I’m normally a very positive, energetic person and this just doesn’t feel like me at all.

Worse than that, I keep thinking I regret getting pregnant. I’m scared having a baby will ruin our lives and our happiness. I feel terrible even typing that after everything it took to get here.

Is this normal? Did anyone else feel like this in the first trimester? Does it change

First tri is famously an absolute ordeal - or at least it was for me! I never believed people who said it improved but for most it does. I started feeling a lot better on all fronts at around 13 weeks (which I know feels like a lifetime away at 9!). For nausea I also went on Xonvea which helped a bit. I loved Mini Cheddars and frozen berry smoothies! I would try not to read into not enjoying it - it is really hard! I am also really not somebody who enjoys being pregnant (other than no periods or hormonal migraines!) and cannot wait for our daughter to be born in hopefully a couple of months now so I can get my own body back. Oh and we did IVF so are obviously also super grateful for this pregnancy! Multiple feelings can exist at once.

This is very normal. We put so much pressure on ourselves to enjoy 'the magic of pregnancy '. Vomitting, exhaustion, insomnia, heartburn, pelvic pain, weight gain. IMO it is something to endure rather than enjoy and it has no bearing on the bond you will have with your child when they do arrive.

If you are worried about your mood, then speak to your midwife but don't pressure yourself to enjoy something that just isn't enjoyable!

Absolutely 100% normal to feel low, disconnected, physically awful.
If you start feeling like you definitely don't want a baby and a child / teenager in your life for the next 20 years or so- thats different in my opinion.

It's very normal. I remember feeling very lonely and even ungrateful because we had an ivf pregnancy. But I hatedbeing pregnant! It was terrible. Things will get better around week 18-20. Then it's lovely and you get your energy back until you turn into a ball by month 8 and start hating life again haha😂. Enjoy! It's all worth it in the end.

It’s normal. This is my third pregnancy and by far the worst I felt. Im sharing similar thoughts however I also know its coz i am feeling awful and almost no quality of life. It will get better and sometimes it takes a while to connect with you child. I have to say when my son was born it took me nearly 6 months to feel connected. I was responsible mother but just didn’t feel the butterflies some people did. However he’s 6 and nearly 7, I absolutely adores him. It’s all part of nature process, I think sometimes people hype it up coz it is good for some people and others don’t wanna feel they are the odd one out. As others said, I think we will all think a bit clearer once we feel a bit more like ourselves. It’s good that work signs you off, just allow yourself to rest and get through the days and hopefully soon you will be better. Good luck!

I think After all the dreaming and trying and imagining what it will be like to be pregnant and then have a baby, I think the reality when it actually happens is really abstract and difficult to process. I'm also 9w with my third and much wanted pregnancy but I just don't feel excited. The nausea, the tiredness. My DP wants to talk names and plans and I just want to bury my head in the sand and pretend it's not happening!

So I think it's totally normal. Once you're past the first trimester hopefully you'll start to feel better, get your energy back & feel more like yourself. Then you'll get a bump and can really embrace it and also once you start feeling movements it becomes so much more real, easier to bond and imagine the little being that you're growing.

Best of luck OP it will all be worth it!

Yes it's normal especially in the first trimester when your hormones are all over the place. It does and will get easier for you. Hang on in there x

Could have wrote this myself!
10 weeks 2 days and I want to be excited but I honeslty think hurling myself head first down concrete stairs would be less traumatic.
I keep thinking what if I hate this, what if I hate been a mom and then injabe destroyed mine and my partners life!
Ive spoken to a few friends who also say its normal!
The promise it gets easier is what's keeping me going!
When I have no symptoms I worry something is wrong and then they come back and im so over it!
Ive had 2 scans and just stared at screen, feeling relieved that the baby is still there but no hint of bonding or love as atm.
Jist wondering if I will regret it!
Its more common than people admit.
Hang in there, hopefully will feel better soon!

I'm 8 weeks and feel exactly the same, no energy, feel constantly sick, tiredness like nothing else, no motivation for anything! This is 2nd baby so I know it does get better but I had forgotten how rough this bit is! Fingers crossed, 2nd trimester is normally much kinder.