Existing anxiety worsened by pregnancy

[Pregnantera]

I’m so embarrassed and ashamed to be writing this. I’ve had anxiety for the last 20 years and out of shame and embarrassment I tried to keep it to myself but it increasingly got worse. My husband and parents are now aware of it and do try to understand and support me. Becoming pregnant seems to have intensified how I was feeling before and there are days where I can’t eat or sleep with sheer dread. I am not anxious about the pregnancy or the health of the baby itself but all the existing anxieties seem more intense. I have tried CBT and counselling as was afraid of the medical route but it looks like I need some more support and will speak to the midwife about how I am. Does anyone have any advice about anxiety in pregnancy and/or the safety of taking medication while pregnant. I don’t feel able to concentrate at work like this but feel ashamed to take time off because of anxiety itself. Will I return to normal after pregnancy?

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way OP. You really have no need to feel ashamed. If anything it probably amplifies how you're feeling. It's an imbalance of brain chemicals and is something that we can't just switch off. Trying to tell yourself not to be anxious is like trying to tell yourself not to digest food. It doesn't work like that.
I experienced awful anxiety in my last pregnancy having had some life events that triggered it in the 2 years before hand. I found opening up about it to others a little a bit empowering as I was surprised with how understanding and supportive people were and also shared their own experiences. I was like you, no anxiety about pregnancy or baby, just a constant feeling of fear and dread and it was quite crippling, I had to have some time off work with it following some panic attacks. I spoke to my midwife and she referred me to perinatal mental health. They were great and are very supportive of pregnant women in this position, it's so common.
I didn't get medication but that is something they would def be able to tell you about if they felt you needed it. I found things did improve for me after the baby was born, quite quickly in fact. Pregnancy hormones can make us really vulnerable to anxiety, especially if it's already an issue. Please don't feel ashamed and don't be afraid to seek help. You deserve and are entitled to support. Wishing you all the best x

I experienced anxiety and ocd whilst pregnant, it was so hard and really held me back tbh! I struggled with going out and with eating because literally everything worried me. I didn't seek out support but I probably should have. I can say though that the feelings went away the second my son was born, it was incredible! I didn't get any tearful days or baby blues as I was euphoric, hopefully the same happens for you! Trying my best to sort my head out before getting pregnant again but unfortunately being pregnant definitely triggers it for me (been pregnant 3x but miscarried twice and it gets worse with each pregnancy).

@Hopingrae thank you for sharing your experience and it’s good to know that the midwife was able to provide some support for you and that it ended after the pregnancy. I will definitely speak to my midwife this week.

@ThatMintMember thanks for sharing your experience. It is reassuring to know that it didn’t have an impact on you postpartum as that has been a worry of mine. I hope you can get yourself into a good head space for another pregnancy and hope it goes easier for you. You mention eating and going out - this is what is bothering me at the moment. I have been invited out to a lunch with a client and I don’t feel able to go because of anxiety. I feel so ashamed but have to be honest about it as can’t live like I am at the moment.

Is there anything in particular that's worrying you about going out? Germs, getting ill, the food? A problem shared is a problem solved :)

I read up on ocd in pregnancy and it seems I take all the precautions as actual strict rules to keep the baby safe. I was striving for 100% safety rather than good enough. Ask yourself would other pregnant women do this without question. I know it's hard but pushing through some discomfort is what helps break the cycle.

So sorry to hear about your anexity. CBT is usually good to try first but there are many other forms that are more of long term and exam more rooted issues such as childhood. However those are long term and the benefit are not usually immediate but I would recommend them.

you mentioned you feel ashamed. It’s similar to me as someone who has seen a therapist for a long time and feel the benefit but my therapist was suggesting me to try for adhd assessment. Her view was women’s adhd is very different, it’s nothing about being hype but often around shame and she felt the progress I made and awareness doesn’t quite match her expectation of improvement or perhaps just try to offer another theory why I feel the way I do. I have looked into it and thought it makes a bit sense. Although doing it during pregnancy isn’t the best idea due to hormones changing mood etc. so might be worth to look into that as well.

either way, there is no shame in getting help. As a society we are slowly opening up to mental health awareness and support required, we have to be brave and trust the people will
be kind and often you might find many that appear to be so happy and postive also struggles too.

i hope things get better for you and you get the help you need