my friend & I know each other through our eldest children so it’s not a long-standing friendship, but mum friends are so important and I really value her friendship. We both experienced a miscarriage at the same time whilst trying for our second babies, I had two miscarriages in a row but she lost a pregnancy later than me. We were both affected by our losses and spent a lot of time talking about them/venting about other people getting pregnant (not because we aren’t happy for them, just because it’s hard and it hurts). Anyway, fast forward a few months and I’m pregnant again, almost at the 12 week mark. I haven’t had my dating scan yet but we did have an early scan and saw the heartbeat. I have been incredibly ill with HG so I have barely spoken to, let alone seen anyone. However this week this friend reached out and asked if I was free to get our toddlers together next week. Like I say, I really value her friendship and we have schedules that don’t often match so I jumped at the chance to see her next week since we are both free.
my question is… how do I tell her I’m pregnant without upsetting her? I’m quite sure that she is not pregnant yet for various reasons, and also I know she didn’t fall pregnant super easily with either of her previous pregnancies. I however have fallen pregnant very easily with the two miscarriages and then this current pregnancy. I really don’t want to be insensitive, I’m very attuned to how difficult this news could be for her. We aren’t incredibly close but it’s still hard to hear someone is pregnant when you have had a tough time.
do I message her ahead of the play date to let her know? Do I not say anything at all (which will probably mean lying because I’m sure the topic will come up when I see her - I hate lying)? Or do I just not overthink it and if we happen to talk about it I’ll let her know I’m pregnant face to face, but sort of hope it doesn’t come up (unlikely)? Please help!