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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnant after vasectomy

34 replies

rossobianchi · 13/02/2026 14:36

My wife (aged 39) has been feeling a bit 'off' over the last ten days or so, strangely tired. She's been having irregular periods for about 8 or 9 months and has felt maybe it's early perimenopause but isn't sure.

I had a vasectomy in April last year but never got round to getting fully signed off - missed my appointment three months later due to being on holiday and then never got round to sending a semen sample in the post which I should have done. In my mind I guess I thought after regular ejaculations all would be fine.

Anyway, long story short, my wife took a pregnancy test today based on how she's been feeling and her period being late and it was positive. Think we're in a bit of shock. Conception would have been at a stage in her cycle when she was very infertile added to the fact that I had my (unverified) vasectomy last spring... the chances of this happening seem astonishingly low.

Not sure how to feel. Already have three DC and we weren't planning for this.

OP posts:
Garman · 13/02/2026 16:33

Like, why bother getting the major part of the job of the vasectomy done only to not follow up and make sure it worked?! Madness, but also, absolutely predictable if you didn’t send a sample to confirm 🤷🏻‍♀️

FamilynotMaiden · 13/02/2026 19:25

Another consideration OP is...can you comfortably afford a 4th child? How big is your house?

Original poster
rossobianchi · 13/02/2026 22:46

FamilynotMaiden · 13/02/2026 19:25

Another consideration OP is...can you comfortably afford a 4th child? How big is your house?

Just taken out a 3-year lease on a 5-seater car which would suddenly become too small for a family of six. House is 4-bed but would probably need to go bigger. A lot of logistical stuff to weigh up.

Just when I thought we had life figured out...

OP posts:
FamilynotMaiden · 14/02/2026 10:50

@rossobianchi It's do-able but..another thing to consider is your ages. For reasons beyond our control my husband and I didn't have our daughter until later in life. We are now 45 and 50 with a 5 yo. No regrets but...I hadn't really considered being peri with a young one - I'm definitely more tired than I once was plus other symptoms, and I also have a demanding job. Rest is very hard to find! I think I'd very much struggle with four relatively young ones.
How old are you both?

Original poster
rossobianchi · 14/02/2026 10:57

FamilynotMaiden · 14/02/2026 10:50

@rossobianchi It's do-able but..another thing to consider is your ages. For reasons beyond our control my husband and I didn't have our daughter until later in life. We are now 45 and 50 with a 5 yo. No regrets but...I hadn't really considered being peri with a young one - I'm definitely more tired than I once was plus other symptoms, and I also have a demanding job. Rest is very hard to find! I think I'd very much struggle with four relatively young ones.
How old are you both?

We're 40 and 38. It's a horrible situation because I can sense we're on a different page with what to do next.

OP posts:
Teaandwater · 14/02/2026 11:17

rossobianchi · 13/02/2026 14:36

My wife (aged 39) has been feeling a bit 'off' over the last ten days or so, strangely tired. She's been having irregular periods for about 8 or 9 months and has felt maybe it's early perimenopause but isn't sure.

I had a vasectomy in April last year but never got round to getting fully signed off - missed my appointment three months later due to being on holiday and then never got round to sending a semen sample in the post which I should have done. In my mind I guess I thought after regular ejaculations all would be fine.

Anyway, long story short, my wife took a pregnancy test today based on how she's been feeling and her period being late and it was positive. Think we're in a bit of shock. Conception would have been at a stage in her cycle when she was very infertile added to the fact that I had my (unverified) vasectomy last spring... the chances of this happening seem astonishingly low.

Not sure how to feel. Already have three DC and we weren't planning for this.

Well done. You had one job 👏

Soontobe60 · 14/02/2026 11:19

ACynicalDad · 13/02/2026 14:40

I'd feel hugely irresponsible. I presume your wife took charge of contraception for many years, and now it's your turn? Now you just need to support her decision.

“Presumably” his wife knew he hadn’t been signed off but still had sex with him willingly?

Soontobe60 · 14/02/2026 11:20

rossobianchi · 13/02/2026 22:46

Just taken out a 3-year lease on a 5-seater car which would suddenly become too small for a family of six. House is 4-bed but would probably need to go bigger. A lot of logistical stuff to weigh up.

Just when I thought we had life figured out...

Show quote history

I was raised in a 3 bed house until late teens, 5 children. They don’t all need their own bedrooms.

FamilynotMaiden · 14/02/2026 18:12

@rossobianchi

Have you both sat down and talked about what you think would be best? I know ultimately it's her decision, but you are both responsible here for the situation you find yourselves in.

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