Refuse same midwife

[LoudPeachPeer]

Hey everyone,
In need of advice. Pregnant for the 3rd time, at my booking appointment they told me I was going to have the same midwife as previously. Now I’m not sure if I’m being petty but last time she said I had low iron but was looking at two screens and got the wrong person and upon feeling my bump she kept on saying “she” “she’ll be a tiny baby” (we didn’t want to know the gender and was keeping it a surprise) also i was in and out of hospital for ages with bleeding and she didn’t even know. I thought midwifes were meant to follow up and know about their patients?

Anyway would you change midwife? I feel like I want too…

If you want to then do it.
Dont dread or regret the care your going to get.

my last MW told me my iron was borderline and to up my diet.
once I had DD the hosp asked which iron tablets I was on, I said none. They looked at me and said your iron has been dangerously low.
no wonder I felt so shit. so I would ask for another one if I had another.

Yes of course you can request a different midwife if you didn't feel supported by your last one.

I do think the he/she thing is a bit unfair. There's no way your midwife would know the sex if you don't. Some of them prefer to say he or she instead of 'baby'

Thank you both for the sound advice, much appreciated :)

I saw a different midwife every appointment and during and after birth. I don’t think I ever saw the same one twice so I’m surprised you’ll have the same midwife.

Same. But there's a thing in some areas where they try to give you a named midwife you see for all your appointments. Seems mad to me. I had no desire to develop a personal relationship with any medical professionals and I liked that I saw different ones with different specialties at different times.

I thought midwifes were meant to follow up and know about their patients? I’m not sure about this.
Like others up thread I never saw the same midwife twice, it’s just a large team. I think there was a named midwife on my documents (there is this time) which I think is a NHS guideline (requirement?) but I don’t think I ever met this person. There are set days after birth when they are supposed to see you, both times so far I’ve been kept in longer than usual so missed the first midwife check - I don’t think I ever told them of this, and there was certainly no one knocking on my door and wondering where I was but I think this is just computers (as in, hospital has to click you are discharged on one system before the midwife team get the notification to take over) rather than someone actually following up on me and ringing around to find out how I was. So I just don’t think it works like that, honestly.

As for the “she” thing - I doubt the midwife could possibly know the sex just from feeling the baby. She probably just sometimes says he and sometimes she - I think this is quite common rather than saying “it” or repeatedly “the baby”. It wouldn’t be written on your notes either.