TTC at 43

[Serignan]

Hi! Just wanted some solidarity and positive stories of people TTC at age 43. I have a beautiful 5 year old son and recently have been so broody. I really want to add another child to our family but realise I’ve left it quite late. I had a traumatic birth with my first child during Covid times, hence the slow decision to have another. I know, statistically, there are lots of things that can go wrong - just wondering if anyone had any honest advice or stories? Thanks!

My friend is due to give birth to her first child next month, aged 44. She met her husband later in life, hence not having children sooner. I completely appreciate it's different for everyone, but she's had a smooth pregnancy. Xx

I had my third at 42 and I know quite a few people who've had natural pregnancies later than that but realistically it does get a lot less common after about 42 as you know. In populations who aren't using any birth control, the average age for a last baby is usually about 41/42. But you won't know unless you try. If your periods are still regular and you have clear signs of ovulation you might as well give it a shot.

I'm 43 and 14 weeks!

I have a lot of similarities with you, have a 5 year old born during lockdown - he was 5 weeks early and the birth + hospital stay afterwards were quite traumatic.

I would say if you feel like you'd like to extend your family then just go for it. Plenty of women having babies in their early and mid 40s naturally. I can't say I'm not full of anxiety, time feeling like it's against me adds an extra layer of that, but it's certainly possible so trying to think positively (I had an early loss last year before this pregnancy MMC at 12 weeks), but with each scan I feel so much less anxious and I think after the gender scan in 2 weeks I'll allow myself to get really excited. The phrase "different baby, different pregnancy" has been so helpful.

Scans I've had are 6 weeks (NHS EPU), 10 week (private), 12 week (NHS).

I also have 2 friends older than me that had their second babies naturally and without any birth trauma.

Only things I did, which may or may not have helped, were drinking plenty of water, cutting down on sugar (still love a sugary tea!), making sure I move around a lot - not so much formal exercise but just as part of my job - and taking a slightly higher Vit D tablet. I also found I was ovulating earlier and it was happening pretty much exactly when I was getting a positive on ovulation strips, so starting trying earlier after my period (every other day from day 8 onwards until day of peak reading, then two days in a row). Not sure if any of this is relevant or coincidence, but leaving it here anyway.

Good luck on your ttc journey if you choose to go for it, mainly I want to tell you that if you want to then you should just go for it!

I had a happy surprise. I had her at 42. It took years of IVF to have my first. When I found out i was pregnant with my second, I thought I was sick and went to the GP. Pregnancy never crossed my mind. I had gestational diabetes, but I had that with the first, but no huge complications. It was considered a high-risk pregnancy due to other medical conditions. I don't think it was any more risky because of my age. Although, the risk of down syndrome and other chromosomal issues was significantly higher.