Going out of my mind with worry, expecting the worst...

[Lyndsey8880]

Hey ladies,
So i tested positive on 8th Jan (after ruptured ectopic, IVF miscarriage, IVF success, years of infertility, IVF failure and then a miracle conception)

By the 13th Jan, I was spotting light pink only on wiping, but everyday, mostly in the mornings.

Went for a scan on the 19th Jan at 5w6d and confirmed pregnancy in the right place, heartbeat, and no reason for the bleeding.

Due to previous mc, put me on cyclogest.

Roll round 21st Jan, spotting became more colour, not quite red, but nearly..
22nd Jan, bright red blood - still only on wiping, never made it to my pad.
I literally broke down at work and went home, spent the day crying, waiting for the inevitable.

Called EPU who weren't anywhere near as concerned as me, just said that cyclogest can cause red spotting.

Anyway, mentally prepared for the loss to begin.

Woke up this morning expecting it to have begun, but brown discharge (mixed with the pessary!)

Since then, I've got red spotting again. Only when wiping.

It is driving me insane.

I think ive mentally prepared myself for loss, but this limbo is killing me! It's so draining...

I know nobody can tell me what's going on, with my daughter, I had a huge red bleed at 6 weeks, clots, everything... daughter was fine, I had a haematoma. I bled daily. Bright red, onto a pad, and at 10 weeks, another huge gushing bleed with clots, then it stopped. Daughter is now nearly 4.

So I know it's possible, I know anything can happen and this could go either way. I just want to know and it's literally driving me INSANE!!

Sorry for the rant, just don't know what else to do with myself.....

You poor thing. You must be driving yourself insane with worry.

you know the score, what will be will be and you’ve done everything you can. Hand hold through this knicker watching and take care of yourself.

@wotsitallfor Thank you. ❤️

Yes I really am! Yesterday I resigned myself to the fact that it would happen, yesterday or overnight.
I feel like I'm just waiting for it to happen but there's this cruel tiny bit of hope in the back of my mind.

Limbo and not knowing is the worst! Xx

ach it's so worrying. I told you my horrible history on your first thread, but just to say, from 6 weeks onwards I had a red gush, pink spotting, brown spotting...even black sometimes?? I was getting fortnightly scans so knew there was hope but between scans was absolutely awful. We were on a wee holiday during one of the waits and I was just constantly going to the toilets and checking, and my mood was dictated by what I saw. It's so grim! BUT!!! You've seen the heartbeat which is a massive statistical leap, and ectopic is crossed off your list. So right now you're in the best bracket of stats you can be for where you are. I'll be hoping for you <3

@aLogLady Thank you!!
It's awful isn't it?! The scans help, for a few hours, then as soon as you see the blood the panic and doom returns.
I'm just constantly checking, watching, waiting, it is torture!
Unless I bleed heavy, my next scan is booked for the 30th.. not feeling very hopeful but that may be trying to protect myself, time will tell Xx

yeah tbh that’s how I handled it. Happy to be in with a chance, but seeing it just as a chance and in no way a guarantee. It’s self protection. Even now I’m at risk of late loss/preterm due to cervix issues so it’s just one day at a time till I reach viability at 24 weeks. I’ll be here waiting and hoping with you!

@aLogLady Oh I'm so sorry you're going through that! It's such a terrifying waiting game isn't it?
I'll be thinking and hoping for you too! I hope all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy ❤️
I've been torturing myself, but since yesterday I feel like I've mentally prepared myself for whatever outcome - I'll still be a wreck of course, but don't feel like I'm beating myself up for answers every 2 seconds..! Xx

Really thinking of you OP

Being in limbo is hardest. You just want to know, either way.

I have bled in all 3 pregnancies, 1 ended in loss, second ended with my son and I’m now pregnant again and had bleeding but I’m 15 weeks and right now I think everything is going ok.

I think you can either try and get a private scan, call EPU again or your GP and beg for a scan or wait it out until 30th. Xx

Thanks @MamaagainJuly2026
It truly is the WORST feeling in the world. Not knowing what's going on is torture. I'm a bit more level headed today (I was an emotional wreck yesterday! Think I just broke after a few days!)
Sorry to hear about your loss ❤️
Glad to hear your pregnancy is going well!! Hopefully you have a nice boring pregnancy from now on! Xx

Hi I also definitely had spotting with cyclogest.

I know it was that bc I read online not to push it in too far and that really helped!! And then it completed stopped the day I didn’t need to take it any more.

I also had a haematoma and had similar to you with red blood due to that.

I have found the medical teams I’ve interacted with to be so great and when I went into EPU for the haematoma they said come back any time you’re worried and we will scan you again which was so reassuring. Sorry yours don’t seem to want to do that, must be hard

Xxx

I have had zero spotting since this morning. Not sure what the world is trying to do to me.... !! 😅

@Renisenb Thank you!
They seem okay and got me in the first time really quick even though it was so early. But they haven't been so keen to get me back in..
Seems like so many women have bleeding for allsorts of reasons and it's a really horrible place to be when you have no clue what's going on!
Glad to hear you've had good care ❤️ Xx

Awh OP, i had a pregnancy after MC and I was sick with worry too, I kept paying for private scans ( about £80 each time in 2021) to settle my anxiety. I also had bleeding when I didnt with my daughter. It was awful. My only advice is to do whatever you need to do to settle the anxiety, for me the scans helped. It got easier once I could feel the movements so you just hopefully gotta get to that. I hope it goes well for you xx

Fingers. toes and everything else crossed for you. The waiting is the worst part. I had 3 losses before I had my little boy. I think I must have held my breath until I was 24 weeks. Sending you positive thoughts xx

Bless you, it's so terrifying isn't it!
With my daughter I paid for soooo many private scans! And I know, if this one gets any further I'll do the same this time too 🤣 it was the only thing that kept me sane...! Thank you ❤️ Xx

Oh I can only imagine the stress and anxiety you must've had throughout your successful pregnancy!
I think after so many years of not being able to conceive, and then to suddenly find out I'm pregnant out of the blue, everything suddenly feels like it could all go wrong at any moment! Of course the bleeding hasn't helped, and honestly yesterday, I was resigned to the fact that I've lost this one, and now the bleeding stopped (for now) and I don't know what to think anymore! Thank you ❤️ Xx

I had three losses one after another and in the following pregnancy (currently 14w) I was going insane in the first weeks. What helped a bit with my anxiety was doing an at home blood test for hCG two days apart. I think I paid around £80 for both, but it’s the price you pay for anxiety. Within a couple of days I knew that hCG was doubling nicely. After this I’d have a private scan every 2 weeks. Anxiety never leaves you after losses

Sorry to hear about your losses.
No it really doesn't, it's a never ending rollercoaster!! Ohh I didn't know about the home hcg tests, that's useful to know, thank you! Hope all is going well with your pregnancy Xx

Ah poor you, I had bright red bleeding a few times in first few weeks with my eldest DD too but all was fine.
When is your next scan? Hopefully they will be able to reassure you then

I've got another scan on Friday, which feels like a lifetime away!!
Today I've had barely anything, a couple of light brown tinged mucus on wiping.. I won't lie, I think I'm going nuts with the checking and obsessing!
I just don't know what to think anymore, and trying not to think too much about it (protection speaking!) Xx

I had this every day of my second pregnancy, it was erosion of the cervix which resulted in a healthy baby at 41 weeks.

Waiting like this is the worst thing. In the end the only strategy that stopped me going mad was telling myself I wasn't in control of the situation and ultimately what would be would be, but much easier said than done of course!
OP, I really hope this works out for you.

If you think the cyclogest irritation be causing it, pop it up the back passage instead. My consultant says it works just as well. It is also much less messy!