Hiya Chequers. I think you're being very sensible being aware of this before baba arrives. I had PND and it didn't really hit in (or wasn't diagnosed) until DD was six months old. I'm expecting my second in August and have given a lot of thought to what I can do to make sure it doesn't happen again, or if it does, to recognise it and get help a LOT earlier. Here are my thoughts - some duplication of what the other lovely ladies have said, but for what it's worth:
*See loads of the NCT mums and babies - as others have said, you don't need to be best mates, you do need to see other people with babies exactly the same age once a week or so for a coffee to share the ups and downs and reassure yourself you're doing OK and the baby's behaviour is normal.
*Start a journal to record your birth story and get stuff off your chest.
*Don't try and be supermummy. It's much less loopy-making if you aim for being a 'good enough' mother: you just need to make sure baby is safe, warm, dry, fed, and loved.
*Be honest with other mums about the tough times, don't pretent 'everything's fine' if you find that it isn't.
*Feel free to use books by 'experts' but make sure you are applying a filter of what works for you and your family and they don't make you feel under any more pressure. Watch out for finding yourself saying 'should' to yourself a lot. Don't beat yourself up about things.
*Get loads of fresh air, eat well, take a good quality all-round supplement - look after yourself.
*Be honest with the health visitor about how you are feeling - if you're not coping, or feel down, or anxious, be honest and ask for their help. There is loads of support out there if you are brave enough to ask for it.
*If you are returning to work, put lots of thought into how you can best manage this so you are happy with your childcare choices and can actually function at work without being overwhelmed by guilt or unhappiness.
*Give yourself at least 12 weeks after the birth to feel anything close to 'normal' again.
*Talk to your DP before you have the baby about all this stuff so you know you have his support if things go a little bit pear-shaped. Make sure you have adult couple time together
*If you suspect you are not reacting/feeling right, talk to your health visitor/GP immediately. Don't expect PND to just take the form of being classically depressed, either - being extremely anxious or angry or obsessive also comes under this banner.
*Ask your health visitor for a blank copy of the Edinburgh Post-Natal Depression scale questionnaire, which she will do with you at home anyway in the first couple of weeks. That way you can just check in with yourself every few weeks to see how you are.
*Try and keep your sense of humour!
*Know that every stage of babyhood feels like a million years while you are in it, and gone in a flash in retrospect. As is said on these boards so frequently by mums of DCs of all ages, 'This too shall pass'.
I'm sure you'll be fine. If you're not, we are all here.
Good luck with the birth, and enjoy being a mummy!