Regretting taking tablet to terminate my pregnancy at 17 weeks

[Boymum2256]

No judgement please.

im almost 17 weeks pregnant due to have surgery this week I was given mifepristone to take before surgery to dilate cervix, I took this last night and I have woke up with this unbearable regret and guilt and I’m thinking what have I done to my little baby girl. I know it’s probably too late and she is most likely gone so there’s nothing I can do other than sit with my emotions.

has anyone else been in this situation where they took the tablet and regret it after ?

am I a bad person for terminating my baby because of mental and financial circumstances also me and the dad aren’t together so I’d be on my own with 3 children? I know the decision was out of love for the baby and myself and also my children I already have, I wouldn’t of survived mentally with 3 on my own but now I’ve took it I can’t stop thinking about how I probably could of done it. I’m beating myself up so bad about it.

Oh huni sending big hugs. It’s never going to be an easy decision to make but your reasoning sounds solid. It doesn’t sound like mentally or financially you would have managed with another so you have put you current little ones and yourself first, you’re an amazing mum!

Hi lovely, I just wanted to reach out because my heart honestly goes out to u. I’m a single mum of 3 myself, so I truly know the struggles and the stress that comes with it. U are NOT a bad person.

I haven’t been in ur exact shoes, but back in October I had a pregnancy outside the womb and had to have surgery to remove it. I was so disheartened and it took a massive toll on me. But I’ve had to learn to accept it—at the time, I just wouldn’t have been able to finance a fourth and keep my head above water for the 3 I already have.

It’s so easy to beat urself up when the "what ifs" start, but u were making a choice out of love for ur kids and ur own mental health. Being a single parent is a huge job already. Please try to be gentle with urself, ur doing what’s best for the family u have.

If u ever want someone to talk to u can pm me babe, I’m here 4 u. Sending so much love. xx

It’s probably very normal to have these feelings but I think you still know you have made the right decision for you and your other children, this is just your emotions taking over.
I’m sure you will feel better about it all in time x

There was a thread on here where someone took the first tablet then not the rest and her pregnancy progressed as normal. It was maybe 1.5 years ago so the baby was born healthy a while ago. I'll have a search

It’s ok to terminate a pregnancy and feel guilt for making that decision, and grieve, and feel everything else you might be feeling. It doesn’t mean that decision is wrong, or make you a bad person, it just reflects what a difficult one it clearly has been for you. I’m certain you haven’t taken the decision lightly.

You should reach out to your health care professionals to discuss your feelings, and current options. Informed decisions at all stages are what is crucial. And I mean that in the broadest sense. None of these feelings change the reality of the reason you came to your decision. Go easy on yourself xx

It sounds like you’ve made this decision for good reasons and for the best interests of your existing children, so while it’s definitely natural to feel some guilt and wonder what if you carried on, remember why you made that decision in the first place. Just because you feel sad about it and wish it wasn’t happening doesn’t mean that it’s the wrong decision. Sometimes we have to make hard choices and choices that we wish we didn’t have to, because there’s a bigger picture.

I took the first pill at 14 weeks and then did not proceed any further. DD2 is 3.5 now, and a totally healthy little girl. I had some bleeding but no clots or pregnancy tissue passed and my pregnancy continued as normal. So it’s possible, but if you really have changed your mind you must seek medical advice asap. But bear in mind the path you have followed to get to this place.

Sending you courage and love from across the cyber waves.

I had a termination at 15 weeks as I had severe hg, multiple hospital admissions and my organs were shutting down. I already had a 2 year old at home, dp couldn't work, we were on our last legs financially, I was no mother to my DD and there was no end in sight. After a particularly horrific night we were both convinced I was going to die.

It took me a very long time and had counselling for the grief I felt. I still did the right thing for all of us at that moment in time.

Both things can be true. You are allowed to grieve your pregnancy, you're allowed to grieve the baby, it doesn't mean you made the wrong decision.

Sending you strength op x

I'm so sorry. Allow yourself to grieve, making this decision doesn't diminish this being a significant loss for you.

I’ve had no cramps or bleeding I took the tablet 70 hours ago and I was feeling her kick last night I’m hoping by some miracle she will be okay! Did you have to take progesterone or was everything okay ?

The first pill blocks progesterone often ending the pregnancy (but not always)
while the second pill is what makes your body reject and abort. The danger is if the pregnancy has ended but not been expelled as that can be dangerous for you.

It sounds like pregnancy may have continued but I would go and get a check up for status as there may be an effect from exposing the foetus to the drug. I'm afraid there is also the possibility that not taking the second pill has simply delayed the end so another reason for a check up asap.

The key thing is to work out what you want as you seem to have a head Vs heart situation. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.