Need reassurance - in pain & can’t get house ready for baby

[Stardust127]

Hi everyone

Please no judgement, I’m looking for reassurance. I’m 29 weeks pregnant and have very bad PGP. I live with my husband and our 18 month old toddler. I’m a SAHM and my husband works full time.

I’m increasingly finding it difficult to move and get around due to the pain. I also don’t sleep because of terrible reflux. I just about manage to get my toddler out to playgroups, I do because he needs to be out and play. My husband is amazing and every day after work he’s hands on, asking me what there is to be done and doing all the housework and playing with toddler. We have no family where we live hence no support. We’re not eligible for nursery funding so that’s not an option at all.

my main issue at the moment is that we are really struggling to get the house ready for the new baby. The mess is so bad and no matter how hard we try it just stays the same. We’re very clean it’s literally just stuff everywhere. It’s because it’s my husband doing pretty much everything and I do when I physically can. I’m really just looking for reassurance that it’s not the end of the world and for people who can relate to this situation because I’m honestly so, so miserable and overwhelmed.

thank you x

ETA: we have sorted a new pram, washed and dried all the new baby’s clothes and have the essentials like nappies etc and a safe sleeping space sorted. So all the main bits are ready. It’s just I worry so much about the house being a mess.

Babies don't know if the house is tidy or messy. All they need is to feel warm, safe, comfortable, loved and fed. Make sure you have everything you need within arms reach and nest.

You've got this 🙂

Your baby isn’t going to notice a messy house. All they need at that age is you, love, safe warm house and milk. It sounds like you’ve got all the important things ready, I really wouldn’t worry about the rest.

I had bad PGP too, it’s such a struggle especially when it your second and you have to look after a toddler too!
I think you’re prioritising the right things making sure your toddler is getting out and about, and you have the main things ready for the baby.
There are also likely at leat 10 weeks to go.

Will your DH have time off work over Christmas? Or could he take a week off in the new year? Then you could do a “blitz” of tidying the house, take stuff to charity/recycling centre etc.

We were living in a tiny central London one-bed flat when we had DS. Our sum total of ‘getting the place ready for the baby ’ consisted of moving the bed over so we could put a sidelong cot next to it, and clearing a drawer for his babygros!

You’re only 29 weeks so have plenty of time. If it helps I’m 39 weeks and still haven’t found our old pram, set up the next to me or done any washing! I have a toddler too and it’s hard.

Have you seen a doctor for your reflux as there’s plenty you can take for that is safe? Similarly I have found a support belt very helpful for my pgp. Do you have anyone at all that can take the toddler for a bit? Running around after them won’t be helping your pgp at all as presuming they need lifting etc as well?

Don’t worry, I also suffered with reflux, I actually found working was better than being at home pregnant with a toddler, anything on the floor was a no go as I couldn’t pick it up, I lived on macaroni cheese as that was the only thing I could eat and just snacked throughout the day. There will be plenty of time after baby is born to do a good clean up. Is your DH off for Christmas, maybe try and do some decluttering those days.

Also if you’re not eligible for funding is that because your DH earns over £100k? If so can some of that not be used to pay for childcare?

Through a series of unfortunate events, we were living out of suitcases in my mother's conservatory when I had my second baby. In winter. Fun times 😮

It sounds like you need a massive declutter. It's so much easier to keep on top of things when you have less stuff.

Do you have any family that could come over and help you out things into bags for the tip/charity shop? Maybe your mum?

Could you pay for a cleaner for a one off deep clean?

aww I had PGP it was awful! a support belt was highly recommended & sleeping with a pillow in between the legs, which helped.

It sounds like you need to clear out the stuff you don’t need/can’t fit. You still have plenty of time, maybe try one room per week? just take your time and work your way slowly.

Its exhausting but worth it, it’s going to be chaos when bubba arrives you won’t want the extra stress

Thank you for all your posts - it’s honestly very reassuring which is exactly what I need right now. I do need to remind myself as some of you mentioned that the baby doesn’t know if the house is a mess.

We are slowly decluttering and have gotten rid of so much it just seems to be never ending. I think that my nesting instinct has kicked in and the fact it’s a mess and I feel useless is driving me insane. My husband is off from 25th - start of Jan but frustratingly one week of that we are away visiting family. I love going to visit but it’s time we could really use to be sorting the house out.

I don’t talk to any of my family, haven’t done for years, it’s a long story. So they’re not around to support. DH family is a few hours drive away.