So, just found out I am pregnant. Nearly 21 weeks actually! Totally unplanned. We have one little girl already but after a dramatic birth we decided no more. After a cancer scare and so much constant bleeding for years after delivery of DD, sex was a rarity. After hormonal contraception being a leading cause of making the bleeding worse, condoms was our only choice. Or.. we would only have sex a week before period due (so a week post ovulation) or right after period. Never around ovulation. But here we are. I had part of my cervix removed back in march. Bled for a few weeks after, then nothing since. Anyway, here we are. I absolutely will not terminate. But I don’t want another baby: but what concerns me more, is I have been drinking throughout of course not knowingly pregnant. Not every night or anything. But I did drink for 10 days abroad in the late summer. I can clear a bottle of red no problem. Or when with friends we will sup a lot of Prosecco between us! I don’t get “drunk” .. but I definitely overload at times with the units. Just having fun! Or I stress drink. So will open a second bottle on those days, well nights. And to my knowledge not hurting anyone but myself! But it would seem I have been hurting a little innocent person. I’ve been reading all about drinking in pregnancy, some people having a healthy outcome regardless. Some not so much. Thats it for the drinking now.. but what if the damage is already done. How am I meant to enjoy the time I have left knowing I have had too many benders with pals. How can I look forward to something I have possibly caused damage to? I’ve been referred for mental health assistance and drug and alcohol use in pregnancy. But I already told them I won’t drink again.. so I get the mental health part but not the latter. Family and friends very supportive, but im afraid that doesn’t make me feel any better.