Hi,
I was just wondering if I’m being irrational/hormonal/unreasonable and would like some opinions/clarity from pregnant strangers on the internet please!
back story, I met my wife 9 years ago. She had a three year old son who she’d had with her ex GF. My wife carried him and I embraced him as my own. They’ve always done 50/50 custody and still do.
two years ago my wife and I decided to have a baby of our own, with her carrying again due to me having some health issues at the time and not really thinking I ever wanted/needed to carry. We had a son who is the most amazing child (as all are).
i decided quite quickly that I did want to go through the experience and so we used the same donor and I became pregnant after 3 attempts. Sadly I miscarried on our son’s first birthday.
we tried again and I miscarried on Mothers Day of this year, of all days!
anyway, I am now 34 weeks with a little girl. My whole pregnancy has been riddled with anxiety, the further I got the worse it actually got, not better. I’m still convinced she won’t be born healthy/alive. (Yes I’ve seen perinatal mental health).
when I miscarried the second time my wife wasn’t overly supportive. Then for the start of this pregnancy I got to about 16 weeks and she said I’d ruined the experience by being so anxious.
im now crippled with pelvic girdle pain and pretty much housebound, whilst looking after our 2 year old as she’s working.
whilst not her fault, she got two positive tests, two straight forward pregnancies and two beautiful babies.
today she took our 12 year old out for the day which I was all for as I know that I’m miserable and in pain a lot of the time. But then I got told I “wasn’t happy to see her” when she got home. I’d washed up, tidied the house, put the house back together as the two year old napped. So she didn’t have to on her return.
Shes slept on the sofa for the majority of my pregnancy as I do go to bed early, shout out in pain when I turn and get up to use the toilet 4 times a night. But then she tells me I’m not affectionate enough with her and she’s constantly thinking she’s done something wrong as “nothing makes me happy”.
she does a lot of the leg work when she is home, walks the dog, brings me meals, takes care of the kids etc,
but I’m really upset as I type this, from my 4th warm bath in 2 days as it’s the only relief I get. I really am trying my best, rallying when I can, crying when her and the kids aren’t around.
but please tell me, am I being unreasonable to feel alone and unsupported at times?
TIA x