I’m 29 weeks pregnant and for the last 8 weeks I’ve really enjoyed, embraced and have felt extremely proud to be pregnant despite also feeling some anxieties over changing body etc.
But I keep thinking that at the beginning maybe I wasn’t so happy and I feel really horrible and guilty and wish I could’ve felt joy right from the start. I felt so sick from nausea, I was scared (even though I have literally always dreamt of becoming a mother and when I had an infertility scare two yrs prior I was so heartbroken) but when I saw my positive test although I was relieved to not be infertile I cried. A mix of shock, stress, and relief. But also crying because I was scared and I felt ‘irresponsible’ even though I’m very secure etc etc - I felt like a teenager in a school bathroom.
I remember going to family events (no one knew yet) and I was secretly so happy to be pregnant but I also remember times where I was slightly stressed and scared and just felt bad.
now I’m in the third trimester, I feel guilty about those feelings. I even feel guilty that we weren’t actively TTC, but we weren’t using contraception either so although it was a surprise, it was a pleasant one. But I just feel guilty that I never jumped up for joy and hugged my husband after the result.
is this normal?! I love our baby so much and I almost wish I could spend more time being pregnant as I’m nearing the finish line