Pregnant after not being in relationship for very long - anyone else in a similar situation or been in it?

[JoyousHyacinth]

I’m currently 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It’s my DP's first baby as well. I’m pregnant in a situation where me and my partner (both early 30s) haven’t been together very long. The pregnancy is very much wanted by both of us however. We were dating for 2 months before conceiving. We actually had discussions very early on about how much we both wanted to have a baby. In my case, I had previously been in a relationship where my ex-partner kept moving the goalposts regarding trying for a baby. There was a period of about 3 years where I was telling him I wanted us to start trying to conceive and that I really wanted to have my first child by the time I reached 30. He kept stringing me along and saying we would start trying “soon”, then the time would come along and he would come up with an excuse for why he wasn’t ready. I eventually decided I’d had enough, and I had to break up with him because having a baby was so important to me. I started feeling a very intense desire to have a baby in my late 20s (around 27), which became overwhelming for me by the time I reached 30.

In my partner’s case, he was in a sort of similar situation in that he was very keen to have children himself with his previous partner. They were in a long-term relationship where they were having difficulty conceiving. He had tests done which showed there was nothing wrong with his sperm. He said his partner decided IVF would be too expensive and she didn’t want to go ahead with it. They broke up because he felt not having kids wasn’t going to be an option for him. When we got together, and after realising how much we both wanted to have a baby, there didn’t seem to be a reason to wait before trying for one. I was off contraception within a month of us being together. It was certainly an exciting time, with both of us being very keen to conceive. I got pregnant very quickly. I strongly suspected I was before even doing a pregnancy test, as I was having a combination of symptoms I’ve never had before in my life. I had sore breasts, nausea and a weird metal taste in my mouth. When I did the pregnancy test, I was ecstatic at the positive result. My partner was very happy about it as well. Everything has been going well so far with the relationship and pregnancy.

I wanted to ask, are there any other ladies who are currently pregnant or have been pregnant in the very early stages of a relationship? I know that in an ideal world you would want to be settled down and married before having a baby, but life doesn’t always work out like that. The people closest to me have been supportive, but I know that there are certain others who will be judging me for getting pregnant so quickly with a new partner. I did see an article the other day about Ellie Goulding being pregnant when she has only been with her boyfriend for about 6 months. It looks like she is quite far along already, so they must have conceived very quickly. I’ve been reading quite a lot of pregnancy articles and that popped up in my recommendations. I know I’m rambling a bit. Baby brain and pregnancy hormones are running rampant for me at the moment.

Me and my OH, he was inna 19 year relationship before me and they were going to get married and try for a baby in the next year before his ex had left him.
She didnt want children but he desperately did.
We got together and was together for 4 months before i got pregnant we were both serious abou wanting children.
Unfortunately it didnt go the way we wanted and i went on to have 3 miscarriages in 16 months.
We have been together over 3 years now, we have a house together and our son is currently laid on my lap and is 2 weeks old going through a rough time figuring out whats day and whats night🤣

It doesnt matter what other people have to say, it matters how you both feel about each other and the situation. If you feel like it was right to come off contraception and try for a baby, then thats down to you and how strong you feel like you are in your relationship.

From the get go me and my OH had a very good relationship, we was and still are very open and honest with each other. We have no secrets, no lies, nothing. Which i feel like is the reason we work well together and we hope to pass that to our son when he gets older.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I really hope it all works out for you all x

I think if I was a family member or friend of yours I would worry that you wanted a baby more than you wanted this particular partner. You’ve not had much time to get to know each other and what if it doesn’t work out because he turns out to be an arse or unreliable or you just don’t love him? You are going to be coparenting for the next 18 yrs with this man as if he is so keen to be a dad he’s going to want to be in his child’s life.

It worked out for a friend of mine, she got pregnant after being a few months with someone (she was 41 and desperately wanted a baby). They got married and are the happiest couple I know, it’s been several years now.

Yes, me. I discovered I was 7 weeks pregnant when we had been together just three months. It was a massive shock but we were both aged 30 and decided to go ahead. Our son turned 21 a few days ago and has two younger siblings. We’ve been happily married for 19 years. It was a weird start but it worked out.

Congratulations. It sounds like you have both gone into this relationship with eyes wide open. I have a friend who met his partner when they were both older and ready for children and they got cracking straight away. They now have 2 children in their late teens.

Yes. We're happily married now with two dc. I couldn't get over the dumped his ex because she was infertile bit, unless I've misunderstood and there's more to it that you're satisfied is an acceptable way to behave.

Its all down to luck really! All you and DP have in common now is a desire to have a child - and it could be you have all the fundamental values in common too (parenting, finances, sharing the load at home, communication, conflict resolution) or you share some of them or none of them. The advantage of waiting longer with a partner is you learn more about your compatibility, you see them once the initial few months of being on best behaviour passes, whereas if it’s just 2 months it’s luck and a prayer. It definitely works out for some people but there’s also lots of couples it doesn’t work out for. It depends on risk appetite really. If you’re willing to take a chance he will be a good partner and coparent without knowing him well, that’s a valid choice and I hope it does work out. But to protect yourself, also consider life without him and raising your child as a single parent just in case he isn’t what you thought he’d be. This would apply to any relationship of course but a shorter relationship just carries that much more risk to prepare for.