Signed off work pregnancy illness

[Pinkdog1991]

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with my first. Around 5.5 weeks I started feeling really ill, 24/7 nausea and headaches. I was signed off by my GP and had to tell my boss I was pregnant. I am still unable to return to work, I have tried all of the nausea medication I am allowed but nothing has helped. I work for the NHS, my boss and HR are giving me a hard time about returning.

I have had to have meetings with my boss, then occupational health and now HR. I managed to put the HR meeting off as I explained I am too ill to attend face to face, they have now decided I can do this via teams. I am being contacted around twice a week saying that we need to make a plan for me to return. I have repeatedly told them I am unable to return at the moment.

Now I have been invited for a stage 1 sickness review with HR. I have asked them why this is the case, as I thought for pregnancy related illness they couldn’t do this? I have had no reply yet, I am not with a union unfortunately and even if I join now they won’t help me as the issue has already started and they won’t cover me, I am using ACAS for advice. When I spoke with OH the lady was so rude and condescending, she basically said to me it doesn’t matter how nauseous you feel or how many times you vomit, that is no excuse to even have one day off work, you have toilets at work to throw up in…

I am trying to stand my ground via email with my boss, questioning everything and pushing back. I am now so worried about how awkward it will be when I do return. My sick note runs out tomorrow and I am wondering how long to ask the GP to extend it for, one week, two, a month… my boss just keeps focusing on now I am past 12 weeks I should be feeling better… well I AM NOT! I am so stressed, can they force me to return before I am better? I am really worried about this HR meeting due to my sickness absence, does anyone know what they will ask me? My boss and OH have repeatedly discussed how they can support me to return. I am unable to return right now no matter what support is in place, I have to lay down repeatedly because I feel so ill.

A couple of weeks ago my boss even gave me a return date… I explained I wouldn’t be returning on that date and haven’t agreed to this… she set up a meeting to discuss my return a couple of days before the date of return. It’s like they are literally trying to force me to come back, even with my GP signing me off. I can’t believe they are being allowed to get away with this, HR is backing her all the way as well, which I am surprised at due to my illness being pregnancy related. Can they fire me? Also I feel so guilty, feel awful for my colleagues, I know me being off for almost 2 months will have impacted them a lot. Just feel shit, pregnancy is stressful enough as it is.

Disgusting responses from your managers and some people on here.

I've been signed off since September and I'm now 17 weeks. I do feel guilty and I've lost a lot of confidence about going back but this is in no way a choice I'm making. It's soul destroying being bedbound. I've only seen/spoken to DP and random hospital staff since becoming ill. I'm lonely, fed up, anxious and depressed.

Keep going OP. The law will protect you xx

I went off sick at 6 weeks due to very bad HG and I'm still off on sick now at 26 weeks as I'm still sick (but not as bad) my job is very physical though and I do have other complications (low lying placenta and already a very high risk pregnancy). My work haven't said anything at all to me about it! I'm using the maximum time of sick pay which is 28 weeks then will go straight onto maternity x

Thank you so much for the support 🌺

I had HG both pregnancies and it was awful. It’s not “just” morning sickness. I was asked when I was going to “make an effort” to go into work. So I “made an effort” and threw up down myself while driving on a motorway!

big hug x

Hi OP, sorry about some of your nasty replies you’ve received. I am currently 18+1 and was diagnosed with HG at 5 weeks with 24/7 sickness , migraines, nausea etc. I take Promethazine and I am also limited to what meds I can take due to epilepsy medication that I’m on. They tried me with 3 meds before this one seemed to help but I’d say I only recently started to be able to function somewhat normally, around 17 weeks. I have two 5 year olds so it’s been hell. I’ve been signed off since 6 weeks, also work for the NHS. So I really sympathised with you. I went back for two days on a phased return and felt very un supported, and the GP signed me off again.
I do recommend joining a union, but also sign posting you to a website called Pregnancy sickness support . They’ve really helped me during my journey. Happy to talk if you feel like it. I am seeing the GP again tomorrow and suspect he’ll sign me off again until occy health see me (two weeks time). I am currently receiving weekly calls off management and had an email off them asking me to do some of my training that’s due, which involves me going in. It’s honestly a joke!

@PumpkinSpicedLatte wow I am so sorry to hear all of that! I hope it eases for you soon 💐

Look here for the legal position. They cannot fire you, they can expect you to attend meetings. Keep getting the GP notes until you feel better; which will happen, but maybe not soon.
maternityaction.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Sickness-2018.pdf

Have you tried acupuncture? I had dreadful nausea and vomiting right through my pregnancy and acupuncture made it manageable so I could go to work most of the time.

@Tiree1965 no, is it a one off thing or is it like once a week or something? Would be really interested to try…

I had 3 sessions, I was lucky that I had a midwife who was trained in acupuncture, and then wore seasickness bands that I bought in Boots. It didn’t stop the sickness but it did reduce the frequency and severity. I actually threw up every day until I delivered but after the acupuncture it was normally just once first thing in the morning which I could cope with. I hope you find what works for you.

You poor thing.

Feeling sick all day long, and throwing up to the point of getting badly dehydrated are clear evidence that you're very unwell.

Your boss and the OH person sound dreadful.

In my career as a midwife I've seen two women who almost died from HG.
I've also encountered countless women who couldn't move from their beds because of it.

What you're going through isn't the accepted "normal" for early pregnancy sickness.

I'm really sorry you're suffering like this and I hope the nausea and vomiting slow down and stop soon.

I also think you need to get another fit note from your doctor pronto. Get advice from ACAS.