Click here if you have 3 kids!

[TreaclePlum]

Tell me all about it.

I have x2 children - eldest (F)about to turn 5, youngest (M) just turned 2.

I'm all consumed by the need for a 3rd. Think about it constantly. My head is no for everything but I can't shake the desire for another baby.

So people who have 3. Tell me about how its worked for you. Honestly please!

What car did you buy?
Did your partner have to basically have the other two in the newborn months?
Did it financially cripple you?
Is solo bedtime at all possible?
How old were you when you had third?
Do you have a life at all outside of mumming.

My husband and I are on the same page in that we both kinda do but realistically think...we would be mad!

I'm 36, husband 42. We'd time it for after youngest started school nursery.

Talk to me ladies.

I put this on the wrong topic but can I move it to family planning?

Honestly, it all depends on money and your support network. I’ve just had #4 but when we had 3…DTs were 2.5 when baby was born, and they are now 5.5, 3 and newborn.

What car did you buy? 7 seater SUV. Strongly suggest you get a 5 or 7 seater with 3 x full sized seats in the middle row (so no need for boot seats to be used)

Did your partner have to basically have the other two in the newborn months? At times yes, but I usually had baby in a sling and the older 2 (twins) in a double buggy. Baby just slotted in

Did it financially cripple you? We had a nanny rather than 3x nursery fees. We are by no means rich, average earners/ family for where we live.

Is solo bedtime at all possible? Yes. Held and bf baby whilst reading stories. It was chaotic though. Solo mornings were much harder.

How old were you when you had third? 34

Do you have a life at all outside of mumming. Yes once baby was older I used to go to the gym/ regular dinners with friends. He really hated being away from me though and screamed a lot!

They are now 22,19 and 15 so we had a 4 year gap, waited until 2nd child was at school nursery 8:30-3:30.

So, no DH was at work, and older 2 DC were at nursery and school (nursery attached to school and only 5 mins walk away).

Same car, DD was already 6.5 sat in a booster in the middle.
Older two DC watched peppa pig whilst i settled baby if DH wasn’t home from
work
i was 35
yes - had a life - gym habit - baby at crèche from
6 weeks old or I left him with MIL or cleaner (ie when I got him to have a longer sleep at lunchtime)

I have 3 boys. I desperately wanted another baby too. Please remember that babies turn into kids, then teenagers, then adults.
My only advice is: be sure you can provide a stable family life to give them the best chance of growing into “normal” capable adults.
my mum helped give my kids that stable life by stepping in when I was exhausted or had no patience.
i realised I was autistic and my husband had ADHD whilst I was pregnant with my third. I wouldn’t change anything but I am very conscious my kids are far more likely to be neurodivergent. I have struggled at times in my life and I don’t wish this on my kids. Looking back the struggles were linked to autism but I only realised this very recently.

practical answers / considerations :
we have Toyota verso
our age gap is now: 17, 14, 8
my mum did a lot of childcare for us
i am the main earner and I had no choice not to work (minimal mat leave). We budget. I work bloody hard. I carry the mental load.
my husband also works bloody hard but cannot carry the responsibility of some things.
i BF and it was exhausting as my husband struggled to help when they were babies
100% WFH was a godsend. I did it from 2017. No office.
my mum had baby from 8:30 to 4pm every day at her house around the corner. My husband finished work at 4pm and took over.
My mum used to come away to work conferences with me and push baby around the hotel grounds.

Hello! I have 3, but I had a big age gap between my first and my second (13 years), then DD1 was 2 when DD2 was born.

I have a Land Rover Defender
For the first 6 weeks DH did have to have DD1 a lot more than usual but after that I got used to it and we muddled along. DD1 has always preferred being with him over me anyway so it didn’t make too much difference.
No financially we were fine
Bedtime we struggled with to begin with but have a strict routine now which helps. DH does DD1 and I do DD2 but he does go away occasionally so I have to make solo bedtime work. Routine goes a little bit out of the window but it still is ok.
I was 33 when I had my third/29 when I had my second/16 when I had my first
Yes I have a life outside parenting, DH is brilliant and I do have DPs who are very eager to pitch in and help out.

I think 5 and 2 is a good time to have a 3rd, if that helps. 3 years between each sounds ideal re nursery fees etc. And if your first is a little older she’ll be able to understand more and will probably want to help out

We have three. They are all lovely and it is more lively than having just two. If you both want another one that is a big factor.

Practically and financially, people focus on the car but that is the least of it (get a large seven seater if you go on car holidays though because you need both seats, and boot).

The big deal for us is that you need a house with enough space for three kids, so ideally four decent bedrooms and enough living space that you can not be on top
of each other or there is no way to break up bickering. Of course people manage with sharing bedrooms but if they don’t have their own space to retreat/ be banished to, you will constantly be dealing with one kid breaking another’s Lego, getting in their face etc etc. we are in the process of getting the house extended from one that just-about fits two kids to one that comfortably fits three kids. and it’s going to cost over £200k :-0